The Wedding!

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The Wedding! Maaaawwiage!!

February 19th, 2013 - Mr. and Mrs. Huan Li

It was an EARLY morning. I rose at 5:30AM so I could be fully dressed when I walked over to meet Huan at his apartmant at 6:15AM. It was freezing that day!! The outside temperature read 2 degrees Celsius when we hopped into Huan's friends car. It was a good thing I chose to wear two pairs of thermal bottoms and extra thick socks that morning! The first order of business was to go to the flower shop to have the rented black Mercedes decorated. They strung pink ribbons along the sides of the car and mounted a large floral arrangment to the hood. The Benz was fully tricked out in under 30 minutes. Dayum!

Next, we met the photographer/videographer crew and had them follow us over to Huan's parent's house. When we got there we were joined the rest of Huan's best men who helped to decorate the rest of the groom's motorcade. We tied red ribbons to all the side-view mirrors and door handles and also stuck large window stickers to let other drivers know that we were going to a wedding that day. I thought my fingers were going to fall off by the time we finished decorating the last car. Remember, this is China; BIG families, many cars.

Before we left Huan's parent's home to go collect the bride, the videographer wanted Huan and all his best men to shout in call-and-response, leading the charge out the house and into the cars. All his instructions were rushed and also spoken in Hunan dialect. I was so confused!! This was an entirely new rendition for me and I realized that I couldn't screw this up because it was going down on tape FOREVER. Ahh!! I was focused, somehow (hotel coffee?) and I nailed the shout. We all ran past the camera and jumped into a car. As we were driving down the highway to Shengnan's parent house, I remember the videographer's car sped in front of us so the cameraman could stand up through the sunroof and film our car driving. He probably caught some hilarious footage of me in the front seat looking like, "Huh, WTF?". Moments later, Huan was opening the sunroof so he could shout something to the camera. Thes toke level was definitely high.

We arrived at Shengnan's house and the videographer had us do another man-team cheer before charging up the stairs of the building. When we got to the door, it was locked! Huan and his best men knocked loudly and someone on the otherside someone responded with something like, "Hmm whoooo is it?". Other voices could be heard giggling through the door. Shengnan's family had all come to her house to help resist Huan and his best men from "taking" their daughter. The banter back and forth continued and when the door was finally unlocked, we all came crashing inside! Once inside all of Shengnan's family (grandmother's included) were giddy with anticipation. We went straight to Shengnan's room but her bedroom door was also locked! The bridemaids had locked themselves in with the bride. Huan slid a red envelope under the door and more questions and riddles ensued. At one point, Huan was asked to sing his bride's favorite song so loud that the whole world could hear. OH MAN! The room ERRUPTED in laughter. Shengnan's father had trouble staying standing he was laughing so hard.

At this point the bedroom door opened and we all came pouring through. There seated on the bed was Shengnan, fully made-up and wearing her white gown, silk gloves, and a shining tiara. She looked just like an angel. At this point, Huan took a knee and recited some words. He presented her the wedding ring and asked her again if she would marry him. She said "YES -- but not so fast!" She asked Huan and all his best men to dance Gangyam Style. A cousin quickly pulled up the song on his iPhone and we all danced. Then she said "Oh wait! I have no shoes. Find me my shoes and then I will go to marry you!" So all of us began searching the room for her shoes. They were purposely hidden from us by her bridesmaids. We found one tucked away in her winter coat and the other stuffed in the corner between the wall and the couch. We'd solved everything - now off we go to the wedding venue.

The wedding was held in a hotel ballroom at the center of Loudi city. Tables and chairs had been set up to accomodate 400 invites. Huan, Shengnan, the best men, and the bridemaids all stood near the door to greet people as they entered. Most of the people invited to the wedding were not close friends of Huan and Shengnan but rather friends of their parents. Huan's father's family enjoys smoking cigarettes so as people entered the ballroom the best men were assigned to hand two cigarettes to every person, women and children included! Weird right?! Everybody came with a red envelope filled with money to give to the newly wed couple. A special table collected the red pockets and maintained a record book of the names of the senders and the enclosed amounts.

This wedding was not a "traditional" Chinese wedding. There was no assigned seating and the bride only wore one gown. There was no holy man present but rather a long ponytailed announcer who acted as the master of ceremony. The stage also had a long runway fitted with spotlights, bubble machines, and spark throwers. It felt almost like a pop music performance! Tables had self-assigned seating and the ballroom wait staff provided each table with many dishes of steaming Chinese food. About halfway through the lunch, the lights were dimmed. The MC's voice came through like a boxing announcer and the spotlights started circling around the room. Shengnan and her parents enterred through the back of the room. They walked her down the aisle to the start of the runway. The MC provided commentary as her mother pulled her veil forward. Soon after, Huan appeared on stage wearing a grey wig, walking with a limp, and leaning on a cane. What?! He spoke into a microphone and said something like "My wife, even when I've reached the age of 80 you will always look young in my eyes". This was all so strange to me. Huan then tossed the wig and cane aside and walked Shengnan and her parents to the front of the stage. Huan's parents also came up on stage to sit with the brides parents while the bride and groom served them tea. After the tea ceremony, the announcer lead the bride and groom in reciting the marital vows. The rings were exchanged and then came the big kiss. Sparks and bubbles flew everywhere and the whole ballroom boomed with applause.

I couldn't believe it! The whole event only lasted 4 hours! There was no dancing, no open bar, and no lifting people on wooden chairs. After lunch was finished and the ceremony had ended, the room completely cleared out. The wedding party had lunch together and then everyone went back to the family's homes to rest out the rest of the evenning. It was a fun event - I saw lots of strange customs and was told I had done a bang up job as Huan's best man. I know they're going to be a very happy couple. Just last week they found out that Shengnan was pregnant. Gongxi! Gongxi! A baby on the way! I'm happy for Huan and his future family.

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