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camp. take free carferry 2 tomok
free campin at restaurant.60000 4 smokin, 2000 avocado.tent ,clouded sky,mp3,smokin, is good.
sunrise on lake,tent,smoke,tuak.prepare some work.last 2-3years none evolution in handicraft.worked 2 little,no ceramic,no siilver,no laether.
2 candles burnin, 1 4 scent, another 4 d light.tent,night,smokin,drinkin tuak.truth:i dont like tuak.but is chaep n alkoholik, 2000 a glass.
doin not much, walkin arrround,smoke,read,eat chocolate stuff.
met rara.
mornin, low sun shines deep in2 tent,smoke,tuak,mp3.
evenin.theres rara, i like, a little.she is with an old,white,ulgy, man here.sellin herself 4 d hope 2 build her house,d child, & a future mo easy n comfortable than this.nice lookin & i like that fallen angle stuff.em have strong erotic radiance,mayb cos em know how 2 conquist us.
no, mayb dont even like her, but only her playin with me, my ego that get filled,d hopes that i make myself.
eatin 5000 in tomok,hitchhike, trucks climbin up a road, climbin up..camp 50 km b4 berastaggi.mornin,foggy,coldread amy rand,fountainhead.
the worl.isnt this a wonderfull plAnet?
smoke,dreamed,now waitin 4 d sun 2 heat up tent, 2 drive out d cold.outside people,longsleeved,some jackets.shit, i ve only tshirt.
berastaggi.restaurant.6000 nasi champur style.docan nice,lingga mo 2 see but 2 many childreen husslein.camp in field.
peceren,3 old houses.camp in hot spring, 5000.nice-nicenice
d oposite risin sun shines deep in2 tent.i look out ,on2 d evaporations.
i blieve:theres sound, can cure,massage,comform,soul. a feelin of rainin inside.a feelin in upper breast. is good.
a thought:theres oftn mo egoism in altruism than in egoism itself.
bout xie:she cant go malay,singapor, cos her fuckin chinese passport, so when her visa xpiered she left 2 east timor, from bali.but east timor wouldnt let her enterin,only by air.visa xpired, each illigal day em charge 200000. on her 2nd illigal day she went 2 immigration office, 2 ask 4 her opptions, em imprissoned her 4 9 days, 4 wich she ll b charged. blablabla, in short, sher have 2 pay ,inkl,plane tickets 2 malay, bout 4 million
now. 15.00. le village.kl. a tea. penang-kl by night-rain-hitychhike. easy, but wet till bones. arrived 02.00. met xie.we fight.
theres so many kinds of egoism.some kinds r straight,vulgar.some uncouncious,hiddn lies 2 yrself n mankind. charity,high idiologie, 2 satisfy counciousness.
20.april.hotel. wastin time.3hrs ago xie left.
22.april. xie wrote, she wanna have somethin with sunny boy.me n her was 2 much fightin,she feel weak. hm, havin somethin with a "sunny"boy ll make her strong? little lulu only wanna have fun.she said,wrote, i wanted her dedicated 2 myself,even tru i ll never c her again, only cos my egoism. i wrote ,no,i just feel jelous. but. isnt jelousness just another egotrip?
next entry 2 chinatown is a mcdonald,next 2 it a street restaurant,nasi lemak 1rm,big rice n dish 2rm.cheap n good
next week i ll visit mama,she married last week.am dissapointed, couldnt she have waited untill i arrive? she didnt care 4 my presence,shes afraid of me,my behaivor,my style,me.
was offered free,indian,gay sex.no,tahnx.
15 2 11.night.bore.deepen in2 boredoom.5 days till europa.
24.4 waste day city,crisscross,walkin.very nice:kampung baru.now cheap,3.5rm,alk with coffee.later:mp3,drunk,photo,night,city
is my egocentrism consequence of interiorism
is my interiorism consequence of my loonerism
is my loonerism,antisocialism consequence of past.
my road ,not choosn,just a rollin along.my travel no search,only a nothin else 2 do. am a victim of myself.
fear is not a shame.shame is only 2 b afraid 2 confront fear.
hotel is in colonial style,room is dorm,3 beds,1 ventilator, window.
as 2day was last day kl took prostitute.20rm+10rm room.she was no professional,only junkie.good xperience,but,cos condom,no orgasm.nice face,nice body but hangin tits n bad ass. i tried 2 give her fun,kissin tits,rubbin clitoris.after she ask:u take drugs?i think of mariuanna n say yes.we go out n buy.5 rm small pack,white powder.opium or heroin.she say lets take hotel n consum it.stupid me says no.should have done cos she was friendly. left.hotel, asked girl who teached me: powder on spoon,roll 1rm in2 tube,fire under spoon, inhale smooke with bill.
hm, not very high, should have bought mo.
party in hotel,pop musik high volumed,people dance.i drink cofee,pasiv onlooker,2 unsocial. 10-12 years ago n i ...but.
went 2 putraya,cos curios bout it architektur.camp next highway.hitchike 2 airport.order standart:rice n 1 veg dish, n when i wanna pay was told that d guy b4 me payed allready 4 me.
air asia.no movies,no free food or drinks.4 all u must pay.air con so cold that people huddle in clothes n,or, blankets.blue cky above,white couds below.i read.
left airport at sunrise.didnt change money cos em want comisssion.cold.
cos hitchhikin on highway police bring me 2 gasstation.fantastic lifts,nice people.i enjoy hitchhike.sun comes out ,warm.
again, police stops, cos my hitchhikin in wrong place,bringin me somewhere else.
again:dont wanna pay ferry,25p$,hitchhike truck at ferry entry,cross gratis.
cross france.cross belgium.
german holland border.supid 1st impression:people snobbish.
gave some1 money 2 buy mariuanna.25€.he left.shit.i guess i got cheated
got cheated 25€
bought,20€.hitchhiked,camped gasstation.hitchhike,last lift hummer,h3,, brings me 2 hallenberg.go grandparents.oh incredible d conservativism of people here.my familie.d things em say,think,blieve.d things em want in life.
breakfast:black bread,salami,cofee.now beer,smokin,mp3.am trembling,fight with grannies.
i feel, this might my last time germany,no mo reasons 2 come here.
a forest floor next hifgway,dried,brown,leaves.i sit,mp3,smokin.07.30.goin south.2 mama.
of all countries this, my homeland, is d 1 where i can b least myself. all is public opinion,all apearance,conservativism.i am d elephant in d glasshouse. dont wanna break glass, but i cant help,everybody happy when i leave.
little hippie walkin arround with stick in ass, afraid 2 feel at ease.met my father,friendly,nice,but.....,met my since boyhooh friend.
this is not my world.
hitchhike.germany is cheapest supermarkets.eat gummibears,beer,chocolat stuff.3€ day.camp next highway.
fuckin cold.cloudy,wet.did 25 km.arrived mamas house. i ring doorbell.door opens, a woman.mama
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