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I've been lost, lost in Thailand. Not literally of course, that would be near impossible in a country like this. No it is more that I have been at a loss here. In fact I have been dreading coming to Thailand for a long time, because Thailand for me is a hard country to visit. Strange though this might sound, because it probably is the easiest country to visit from a backpackers point of view. Hence the amount of first time travellers that come to the country of smiles.

The reason for my dread, has nothing to do with a supposed difficulty on travelling around this country. No it is far worse than that! The reason is that I feared that I wouldn't find anything to do here. 'But there are loads of things to do in Thailand', you might think. It is unfortunately not the point. The point is that everything has been done, seen and experienced here before, by millions of others, rendering my own experiences obsolete in my own mind. How would I find satisfaction in exploring a country that had already been so well explored and documented?

Paul Theroux describes a scenery somewhere in Northern France as he travels through it on his way to Paris, in one of his books. The gist of the description comes down to the fact that he feels he is looking at a landscape that has been worn down and rubbed away by the gaze of countless of other people on their way to Paris. Its appeal long gone due to the weight of all those eyes that have seen it before.

This was exactly why I was apprehensive about visiting Thailand. Would I feel the same, would the fact that so many have travelled here before me, rub away any allure I might find in this green tropical paradise?

Even writing a blog about Thailand is daunting. Anything I might write about this country has been written about before and probably better. What is left for me but repetition. It is like making a bad remake of a good film, the more you make, the worse it gets. However hope springs eternally and I found my inspiration in the last two blogs written by aspiringnomad. In brief they are about a mainly western cultural contamination of other cultures, or at least our perception of it, and the thirst by travellers of finding an often imagined authentic culture or experience somewhere in this world.

Now one could of course write a book about the cultural contamination of Thailand due to the number of tourists that have come here (and probably books have been written about it. Many!). It is likely what the people that feature in aspiringnomad blogs have in mind when they talk about their fear of contaminating a supposedly authentic culture.

But that is not what I am going to write about. It is more the seeking of a perceived authenticity part that I will focus on. It got me wondering if this was the reason I found Thailand so hard to travel? Looking at the first part of this blog, it fits in perfectly with my fears. I talk about experiences that have already been experienced, sights that have already been seen, nothing left to explore, it all could be put down to authenticity. I feel lost in Thailand because I feel the need for an authentic experience when I travel and that is hard to find here.

So I was thinking about this, am I really that shallow and that much of a snob? Do I really need this so called authenticity to have a good time? To be honest, probably at least partially yes, but it isn't the only reason. Before I read those blogs I had not even thought about a culture being authentic or not, but subconsciously it might have played a role in why I did or did not like a place.

Did I not fully appreciate the touristic southern islands and beaches of Thailand because they weren't authentic? Sure, there was that part, but there is also such a thing as too much and too many. And those holiday destinations are saturated to the point that it becomes almost oppressive to be there too long. Was it the reason the favourite part of my time down there was finding a secluded beach on Ko Phi-Phi (who would have thought, right?), a sweaty one and a half hour jungle walk away from the main party beach. Hardly, the beach was not authentic and the seclusion was only relative, but maybe the perception of authenticity and seclusion helped me enjoy it more.

Is it also the reason why I have finally found a region in Thailand where I feel comfortable, namely the un-touristic and thus more authentic north-east of the country? Again, I would say it is possibly true. But it is actually a combination of things that draw me away from the tourist trail, and at the same time lure me back to it.

I did like certain aspects of the south. I liked the fact that I met a lot of travellers, that to my surprise, though there was an obvious age gap, I got along with everybody. You are never alone on the backpacker highway, which is nice. I liked the ease of travel, something I have been looking forward to for a long time as well. I loved that I could still find a quiet spot even on the most touristic of islands, and I even enjoyed watching the party crowd and the spectacle of bucket buying youngsters having a good time. It has after all almost become part of the Thai culture, that and the ubiquitous lady-boy. So I tried the former, but not the latter. Bucket yes, lady-boy no!

I did not like the sheer amount of travellers, the over-full beaches, the big beach-bars blaring out loud beats at night. I didn't like that there were more Europeans at most of these places than locals, at times it felt more like a Mediterranean beach resort than being in Thailand. I didn't like the horrible tour I took to Phi-Phi Leh, to visit amongst others the beach where the film 'The Beach' was shot. Than again I don't think anybody could like that, you couldn't actually see that most famous strech of sand due to the number of tour boats and people on it! And I don't like the nuisance that comes with so many tourists, the constant nagging of touts/tour-sellers/masseuses/lady-boys and everybody else who makes their money of us.

It is true that I like the north-east much more than the south. It is nice not because it is especially authentic, but because there are less tourists, but not none. It is still easy to travel, but not too easy. There are more Thais then foreigners by a long shot. And I am and have always been more interested in culture and history than a beach, and the north-east has some interesting little visited Khmer temples. Perhaps not as grand as in Cambodia, but than again, I don't have to share it with anybody either! Last but not least, because of the lack of large number of tourists, nobody disturbs you here either, and even most tuk-tuk drivers are actually honest. People are more friendly when they aren't overwhelmed by foreigners, that is a fact all over the world.

Finally I like to travel off-the-beaten track (though it is never really too much off-the-beaten track, because I do use the much maligned Lonely Planet to get to those places, even if I have to put it away for a while when exploring further), simply because it is more of a challenge, and thus more rewarding if I have successfully done it. And I haven't even talked about curiosity, a fascination for border regions (especially the extremes, the most north, south, east or west you can get in a country), and just the fun of exploring a place you know less about.

So yes, authenticity plays a role, I think everybody seeks it, even those that don't travel, they just might look for it in a different way. Anyway what is the harm of seeking a perceived authentic experience, I only delude myself and I am quite happy doing so!

[Totally unrelated to this blog, just a short piece on the floods in Thailand. There are a few photo's at the end of this blog of flooded streets in Bangkok. As a tourist however you will most likely not have much to worry about. Central Bangkok is still flood free, though everybody seems to be prepared for the worst. This is because of infighting between the various levels of government, different agencies and so on, which is actually hampering the efforts to keep central Bangkok dry. As for now, I only saw flood waters on the far outskirts of town, on my way to the north-east of Thailand. The northern bus terminal is still dry and though to get there you have a small stretch of flooded highway to cross, that is about all the water you will see until you reach the outskirts (probably about another 10 km from the northern bus terminal). For the residents of the flooded regions itself though this is a real disaster, especially as some districts of Bangkok are being given up in order to save the central part, which of course doesn't sit that well with the

Ko Phi-Phi

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Monkey swimming in the sea

people who live in those districts. But coming back to the tourist point of view, anybody who is planning to come here should not be deterred by the stories they hear, so far there are no real problems facing visitors.]

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