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Published: August 6th 2008
Scene of the crime
Water boils in the foreground as the preparation area is hosed down.I had gotten used to hearing all sorts of things outside of Thelma's house during the night. There seems to be a constant howling from dogs, and the expected rooster wake-up call; even the occasional falling coconut. On one Sunday morning though, I was woken at 4:30 am to a horific squeeling noise which made the hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up.
I went outside and crept down the twenty stairs behind the house to the back of the property where I found the prisoner lying on the ground. She was hog tied, literally, and looking pretty scared. Her skin had dark circular patches on it, which might have been burn marks. I could not be certain if it was as sign of torture or not. Unfortunately for the prisoner, she had been labeled as an enemy combatant, so the Geneva Convention no longer applied to her. Tita Vicky had picked her up in the market a few days ago. She was suspected of being part of a local sleeper pen with possible links to the boss hog himself.
Tita had brought in some "specialists" to sort out the prisoner. They didn't speak English, but
Waiting for Piggy Prep
This is Miss Piggy after being killed, awaiting final preparations. I'm pretty sure I knew what they were saying, and I knew what they had planned. A concrete slab had been hosed down in preparation, possibly a sign of water-boarding used for information extraction. In the foreground was a small fire, kindled with coconuts and dried palm bark, producing a sweet mild jungle smell. A large pan of water was balancing on top and it was just nearly coming to a boil.
The time had come for the final interogation. The specialists grabbed the prisoner and pulled her onto the concrete slab. They motioned to me to ask if I wanted to participate, but I declined. The squeeling was ear-piercing and I had to cover my ears to protect them. The specialists held her down with a knife against her throat. For the final time, they demanded, "Where is Pig Laden!", but she was still defiant. Question time was over. They held her snout shut to muffle the noise and I could see her stare at me with her left eye as if to say, "only you can save me now." Maybe she was innocent after all? The knife was thrust into her throat and she started to bleed,
Stuffing
All these wonderful spices are going to be stuffed in Miss Piggy's cavity. like a stuck pig. The blood was drained into a pot to be used again. Each squel started to get fainter and fainter until all her remaining energy was used for one final heroic squel. I can't be for sure, but I think I heard her cry out for Kermit.
Her death was not in vain though. She died for a good cause; my lunch. Thelma's family was putting on a party to welcome us and to celebrate her birthday. I was invited to help neutralize the pig, which I declined, but I did witness the pig's preparation. It was a pretty gruesome task, but for someone who enjoys pork and ham as much as me, I can hardly be hypocritical.
After the pig was killed, it was hosed down and the boiled water was poured over it to soften the skin. It was then scraped clean, removing all hair and leaving a smooth white surface. Razor blades were used for the last hard to reach places. The internal organs were removed, and the entire pig was placed on a bamboo spit. The blood was used to later make some black pudding. Onion, garlic, bay leaves, and lemon
Scrapping the skin
All the hair and everything else is scrapped away. grass were stuffed into the cavity and it was roasted for three hours with the "specialists" taking turns to turn the spit. They let me have a go at it and the pig fell apart almost as soon as I touched the spit. Whoops! I guess that meant it was done roasting.
Thelma's Titas had cooked up a giant feast! It was like Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter dinner all in one. In addition to the roast pig (lechon), there was chicken (manuk), squid, and fish. The whole family and what seemed like half the village came over. I had been at Thelma's place for nearly a week and was just starting to remember everyone's name. Tito Mantau and his choir boys had started singing outside after a few Red Horse beers and I joined in on the Beatles tunes that I recognized. I had a great time as well as a full belly.
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Marc
non-member comment
Funny
That was one great, funny blog. Lechon and Red Horse? 1-2 punch combo. Nice.