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Published: April 4th 2012
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On my way from New Zealand to England I got the chance to have a five day sojourn in the conveniantly eqidistant Malaysia. Originally I had to contemplate myself sitting in a beach restaurant holding a pina colada or a mojito, the waves nearby gently lapping on the shore, the sun setting on the distant horizon and the opposite chair of my romantic table for two... EMPTY! Thank god my girlfriend Maria Chiara spared me that fate and decided to throw any concerns of expense or jetlag out the window, and she joined me!
The is both of our first trips to Malaysia and it took in two islands on the west coast: Penang and Langkawi. They both lived up to their sterling reputations: Penang for being an ex-colonial melting pot of culture and Langkawi for being... well... a tropical island.
Penang on the western side of the Malay Peninsula was for centuries an important trading town and way point for the various merchants sailing from Europe to the Far East. Everyone got in on the action at some point, and most especially the big boys, India and China. The population is still noticeably tri-cultural: Malay (obviously), Indian and
Fruit juice stall
I wish we had more watermelon juice! Chinese. Each seems to live in a great deal of harmony but keep themselves to themselves. So in Georgetown there is a large Chinatown with markets which seem like dark labyrinthine warrens, and then close-by an extensive "Little India" with elaborate Hindu temples, Bollywood music blearing out, and the potent aroma of curry.
Penang's reputation for food is legendary. As our taxi got closer to our hotel the buildings got older and denser, and the profusion of full roadside stall-type restaurants was sending us into a frenzy. The rule in Asia is pretty simple: if the place is full, the food is good. If there are no menus, the food is good. If the service is hurried, the food is good. All three of the above criteria were achieved in a Chinese restaurant near our hotel. Most satisfyingly, this was Maria Chiara's first meal in Asia... EVER! Predictably, the food was fantastic, and eaten in an amazing atmosphere of mostly middle-aged ethnic Chinese in an eatery open on two sides to the swampy tropical air.
In Georgetown it quickly became necessary to breakdown our conventional ideas as to when and what justified a meal. Three times a day
was by no means sufficient when we had the best to offer from Malaysia, India and China to experience, with a bit of Indonesian and Thai mixed in for good measure.
I had seen enough of the weather on the BBC to know that the chances of been rained on at some point in the day in this part of the world is extremely high. As we wandered around the historic centre of Georgetown the air was getting increasingly sticky. An ominous cool breeze would occasionally waft past. When we got to a shore with a view over to the mainland we saw a gigantic blue-black cloud that was 20 minutes away from giving us an extended afternoon visit.
When the sky did finally break we found ourselves next to a side street coffee shack. Any of those who have spent time in South East Asia will probably be familiar with the phenomenon of sweetened condensed milk. The coffee itself could have been a bit dodgy, but when it has a half an inch base of gloopy sickly-sweet condensed milk all sins can be mixed away. Maria Chiara was an instant convert, and we ended up in danger
That's not a joss stick...
...this is a joss stick! (Note for NZ readers: "joss stick" is British Engish for "insense", so my caption is slightly funny). of being charged for over-weight baggage on the way home from too many cans of condensed milk. It was worth it.
It was surreal for me to be back on the trail in South East Asia, with its restaurants catering for Backpackers such as the "Mona Liza Café" serving the inevitable banana pancakes to earnest backpackers with greasy hair and faraway stares. "Don't worry; I'm not going to steal your travel towel!" I thought. I miss the lifestyle slightly. Only slightly.
I've spent five months in Asia on holiday, and it was great. But the advantage of staying for days instead is: more money to spend. We managed to notch up three massages in as many days, including in my case a very accomplished foot massage from lady boy. In Langkawi we stepped up the accommodation. Temple Tree Resort was the most chic hotel I've ever stayed in. It was a complex of elaborate old wooden houses that had been built by various ethnicities in various times and regions of Malaysia and shipped into this new location, plank by plank. Every building (appropriately ours was called "Colonial") had its resident cats. Not your classic Asian cats (who are
uniformly mangy) but particularly pampered cats. One rather forward cat tried to get into our room on several occasions unsuccessfully until I gave up being so cruel on our last day. He sat in the wash basin of our bathroom attending to his cleaning regime for half an hour.
No-one wants to hear about other peoples' fun times on tropical islands - I know it makes sickening reading - so let's just pretend we had an awful time and leave it at that. If you were ever contemplating a trip to this part of the world look me up and I'll tell you the real story!
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