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Published: June 24th 2006
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I never knew that monkeys could buy plane tickets!....but today we had to prevent one from coming with us to Delhi. There we were on the airport shuttle bus when suddenly a monkey appeared and shot towards the open doors , until it got shooed away at around 2 feet from the bus. Monkeys over here are aggressive and potentially rabid, so not good to have on baord!
I got caught behind mr and mrs designerwear India, who were busy shooting a full length action picture on how to board a plane. Smiling, waving , zooming in, panning across the wings- the full monty!.....of course I didnt mind standing behind them in the drizzle laden down with baggage, in fact I just giggled as the reality of where I was heading dawned. She was wearing tight Gucci jeans and the most ridiculous pink animal skin high heeled boots, while he appeared to have some wild crocodile creations on his feet. Anyhow , the shenanigans increased on the plane where a full extended-family conference was being held across and amongst 2 rows while other people tried to board and push their way through. The flight was uneventful until landing, when people
jumped up and opened overhead lockers while the plane was still taxiing at around 60mph and the flight attendants were running up and down the aisle trying to keep the unruly crowd under control!!
Arrival in Delhi proved more eventful still. My horrendously overpriced, pre-booked taxi was there....hurray!!....but it was the most delapidated, decrepit vehicle i've ever seen, with no air-con as I'd expected. I'd just stepped out into 40degrees wearing trainers and socks, had no water, and after a mile the scrapheap on wheels decided to break down. My driver, dressed in white pyjama suit, pulled the drivers seat forward and proceeded to play with a whole jumble of exposed wires. We were in the middle of a dual carriageway, with cars weaving all around, beeping at us, so my driver decides to put the vehicle into first gear, get out of the vehicle, lie on the road , fiddle with some more exposed wires under the steering wheel, and depress the accelerator with his spare hand simultaneously. Result: taxi jolts forward with me in it, but no driver. '' Bloodyhell", I thought, this country is all I heard about and more. So , unimpressed, and sensing the
imminent danger to my life, I jumped out and grabbed my bags. So, those who know me will know how I love to travel light ( ha ha!) and I had a backpack, rucksack, sleeping bag and yoga mat to juggle. The driver starts telling me he will hire another car in 5 minutes, but knowing Asia I know that means around 1 hour, so totally dehydrated and overheated I set off walking back to the airport ( remember it's 40 degrees!) with the driver shouting after me. Five minutes later, the driver comes chugging past in another car with 2 other guys, and tells me to get in. I refuse, not knowing the origin of the other car, but agree when the driver says he will come with me. Next he's shoving his mobile phone in my ear telling me to speak to the hotel, while the 3 of them squeezed in the front are driving along with the passenger door wide open!!!!Then we arrive back at his broken down taxi , where he tries to jump out again and I jump out with him as Im not going with these 2 guys I dont know. By now, I
really don't trust the situation, as this is not what I meant by him coming with me. Soooooo, I grab my bags and start walking again towards the airport, back again where I started, being verbally pursued by the driver again. Its about 2kms to the airport, and I struggle this distance absolutely parched and drenched, with this guy ( who has now got his rustbox started again) keep driving past me telling me to jump in while I am now yelling at him that I don't trust his vehicle and I don't trust him!!!!!
Finally, having shaken him off, I arrive back at the airport 2 hours after I left, with the reddest face you have ever seen, even the capillaries in my eyes seemed to have burst/expanded/ whatever they do with heat and exhaustion, and I have to rest for half an hour in the aircon before I'm able to get going again. Luckily, the second taxi got me there, not without arguing with him though as well - they all try it on with the fares /scams etc, but at least he had both hands on the wheel, unlike another traveller who said hers positioned the
rear view mirror at her then only had one hand on the wheel and the other on his crotch.....
India....it's gonna be interesting!!!!!!
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anonymous
non-member comment
Damn cabbies. Good for nothing. Go MO!