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Published: October 9th 2006
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Jin Mao Tower
The viewing deck is apparently the highest in Asia (88th floor I think) and it's half the price of paying to get to the top of the Pearl TV Tower thingy. Our hotel in Shanker's was the plushest accommodation yet. The fact that it was a hotel rather than a hostel was a start. The fact that it had a toilet which flushed and that there was no rising damp left us in near ecstacy. Infact it was probably one of the best rooms I've stayed in as far as bog standard hotel rooms go. No character but plenty comfy and clean.
What was strange about it was the 10pm massage caller. Whoever this woman was, she seemed to have the telephone numbers of all the rooms in the hotel and she would call them all in order every night. If we stood in the corridor, we could listen as the phones in each room rang sequentially until finally it was our telephone that was ringing. I picked up the phone on the first night. It wasn't much of a conversation. She spoke no English and my Chinese extends to "Nihao" (hello), "xiexie" (thanks) and "henhao" (very good). Actually she did know one English word - she just couldn't pronounce it very well.
"Messaj", she said tentatively, realising that the person on the end of the phone spoke no Chinese.
She thought maybe he'd said nihao when he answered the phone - clearly he has issues with even the most basic pronounciation.
"NO UNDERSTANDOW", he said into the mouthpiece loudly. Slightly raised voice and some freestyle Chinese should get the message across he seemed to think.
"MESSAJ", she replied. She wondered whether the person on the other end may have some kind of mental handicap or speech impediment. Clearly he's not all there she thought.
"Message?", he replied.
"Hello. Messaj."
"Reception? ARE YOU CALLING FROM RECEPTIONOW?".
Silence.
Her voice moved away from the mouthpiece as she spoke to someone that was with her.
"Resepshon?" she asked a colleague.
Silence.
Her colleague took the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hello" he said, "do you speak English?"
"Hello. Massaj"
"Oh right! MASSAGE!"
"OK. Massaj!"
There was a pause as the phone shifted in his hands. She heard him ask someone else:
"Vik, there's a lady on the phone wants to know if we'd like a massage?"
A pause. Some muttering and muffled laughter.
He returned to the phone.
"No Massage, thank you".
An abridged version of this conversation took place on the second night of our stay. We just didn't answer the phone at
TV Tower and friends
View from the Jin Mao Tower 10pm on nights three and four. Three rings, no pick-up; onto the next number seemed to be her policy.
This breakdown in communication almost had me nipping down to reception to ask the staff there for a message but I suspect that they would have sniggered and pointed me to the little shop down the street with the closed curtains and the red lights that dressed itself up as a hairdressers. In this case it was my innocent mind that had me inadvertantly asking my wife if we wanted a woman who calls hotel rooms at 10pm to pay us a visit.
Our next example of communication breakdown had me wondering exactly what the Chinese Ramblers Association got up to.
In a discussion with a very nice young man in an outdoor shop we got talking about hiking. His English was some of the best we'd heard in China, but still slightly faultering, while my Chinese was limited to those words mentioned above plus "messaj".
He was keen to practise his English and also delighted by the interest we were showing in the walking gear and the complimentary way in which we described our awe at the
Some more tall buildings...
...in Pudong area. They is loads of construction work going on here and they were still working at 8pm - in the dark and on a public holiday. Chinese countryside. He was eager for us to explore the countryside around Shanghai and Beijing and handed us a card. "We have walking group", he explained. "Maybe you come with us?"
Well, I was delighted by the offer. Not only did it offer us the opportunity to explore more of the landscape, but also to mix with locals. I nodded and thanked him enthusiastically. Clearly moved by my obvious enthusiasm he quickly added: "We walk and visit four women for the night"
This phased me. My mind flew back to our 10pm caller and the "hairdressers" down the road from the hotel. I squinted at him, hoping my perplexed/disgusted look would provoke an explanation. But no, he seemed happy with this and just offered a broad grin. I looked to Vikki. She also seemed happy with the situation, looking at the card and nodding away. In my mind I took several steps back and thought about the phrase "visit four women for the night".
Suddenly it twigged that there is a group of mountains in Scotland referred to as the Three Sisters (or something along that line). That seemed like a logical enough explanation. Let it go Robbie. It
Obligatory photo
Of me in front of tourist sight. wasn't until we were out of the shop that I thought since Vik hadn't brought it up I'd have to be the one to broach the subject.
Proving once again that she is pricelessly knowledgable (or good at making things up), she said that in China mountains are all female. Where on earth she got that from I'm not sure - but its as good an explanation as I need. Rambling in China is just good clean fun until proven otherwise.
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