Broken

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I couldn’t sleep all night. I cried most of the night through because my heart is bursting with sorrow and joy. I feel responsible for the situation that the people are in. Most people will say, “you can’t feel responsible for them it’s not your burden to carry”. To those people I would say you’re wrong, Christ calls us to carry one another’s burdens and I am called, more than most, to do just that. I finally got out of bed as the sun was slowly creeping over the horizon; I needed to listen to something so I began listening to Savior King by Hillsong United. My heart was filled with emotion and I collapsed on my knees in the dirt crying my heart to the Lord. I don’t know how long I was there but I felt a gentle hand slowly lift me to my feet. It was Samuel, the newest member of the Lahash team who is responsible for the finances and overall maintenance of different facilities. He began comforting me and encouraging me as well. He said the children will be alright and not to be sad. I just listened to him and his story of how his family was without food for many days and he trusted in the Lord and he provided. I do have faith in Christ to provide, but what if Christ is using us to help provide? Are we supposed to say God will provide when he has already provided us with the means to provide for others? After this situation, I can relate more to King David and his psalms which include cries of sorrow and joy. My heart is ecstatic for the future yet at the same time I am broken for the present. God give me a vision and a plan. Lord expand my heart to love like you do. The rain fell down and watered the earth. It was a beautiful rain; we spent most of the day sitting in the center tukul watching it come down. There is something about the rain that refreshes the soul. The ladies made us a spaghetti lunch with pineapple filled empanadas, it was super good and Lasu loved it…made him feel like he was in America even though we explained that it was an Italian dish. After our nap we began playing games with the children and learned more of their songs. They were also eager to learn new games, we had a great time. Candace closed us out with a word about love and Gods ultimate love for us. It was a great day, yet my heart hurts for the people. I pray God allows me to be apart of his change.

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