Buddhist Meditation Retreat

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After an amazing week at the ENP and having found my comfort zone shovelling poop, the next week we were booked on the Buddhist Meditation Retreat for two days. This was so far away from my comfort zone I was actually starting to panic just thinking about it. I have never done anything remotely like this before and on the morning we were due to travel to meet up with our group and monk masters I had mixed feelings of ten percent excitement for experiencing something new and ninety percent of total fear of the absolute unknown. I also knew that I would have to spend a night alone in a room with a total stranger as boy/girl rooms are strictly forbidden at the temple. I convinced myself that axe murderers don’t book onto meditation courses…do they?! I was however looking forward to a nice relaxing time and some peace and quiet. Ok yes, we have been travelling (on holiday) for over five months and OK yes, I can count on one hand the amount of times we have had to get out of bed before ten o’clock in the morning, but come on, everyone needs a break.

We got a tuk-tuk to Wat Suan Dok, a lovely temple towards the outskirts of Chiang Mai city. There is an excellent group run activity there called Monk Chat, where farang are invited to come along and talk to the monks. It is both interesting for the foreigners to learn about the monks (you can ask them anything) and the monks also enjoy learning about different cultures and practicing their English. We completed the necessary forms to register and were given our new meditation clothing, all lay people or people who are not quite as divine have to wear all white clothing to distinguish them from the monks who wear the traditional orange robes. We also bought some meditation beads so we looked the part. Many other people started arriving and it felt very much like the first day of school as some people were making polite small talk but most, including Jane and I, just kept quiet and to themselves. We were all ushered into a nice relaxing room where we would watch a lovely video about the benefits of meditation and how it could help bring inner peace to your life. The video was very relaxing and I was starting to calm down and enjoy myself. Once the video had finished we met our new Buddhist Monk who would lead the meditation sessions for the next few days. He gave us a brief seminar on some history of Buddhism and meditation and then went through the itinerary of what the next few days would hold. We all introduced ourselves and explained our mediation experience. Jane said that she had practised meditation before but failed to divulge the fact that she is also some sort of Reiki Jedi Master and can heal people just by looking at them and can fire lightning bolts out of her arse if she is in the right frame of mind.

After the seminar finished we were all transported by bus to the meditation centre 45 minutes outside of Chiang Mai. On the bus Jane made friends with a nice friendly American girl called Natalie and they quickly decided they should room together. I however was not so forward in making friends and thought that I would let fate decide my sleeping partner for the night. Once we arrived at the mediation centre set in lovely peaceful gardens it wasn’t long before fate hooked me up with Joeng, a six foot five South Korean who was nearly as wide as he was tall and was built like the proverbial brick house. After saying hello I quickly established Joeng didn’t speak much English and relaxed in the knowledge that I wouldn’t have to make annoying small talk. After we dropped our bags off in the rooms I was surprised to see that we all had proper beds and not the ones at some Buddhist retreats where you just lie on the floor and have a piece of wood for a pillow. We all changed into our white clothing and were soon summoned by the bell to the meditation hall. We all took our seats on mats on the floor facing our two Monk Masters who would run the meditation sessions. First, we were told how to sit properly with our legs crossed (like you used to at primary school in assembly) to help enable full concentration and full relaxation. I however, after knee operations on both knees in recent years was rather uncomfortable in this position and could not think of how I would possibly be able to clear my mind and find a higher state. The monk masters did then say that being comfortable is the most important thing and we could move or sit on a chair if we wanted. Not to look like a crippled old man before my time in front of the rest of the group, I decided to keep quiet and see if I could put up with the pain. We were told that we would learn and practice 4 types of mediation; sitting, standing, walking and laying down and to start with each session would be 15 minutes long.

Soon we were all told to close our eyes as the lead Monk (a 24 year old Burmese monk, who both Jane and Natalie later said “he’s way too fit to be monk, what a waste”) started to guide us through our first session. Even though I did not share Jane and Natalie’s view on his looks, his voice was the most amazing relaxing sound I have ever heard in my life. I think his vocal cords must be lubed everyday with chocolate and fine wine sent down from the gods. He would say things like “concentrate…. your ….mindfulness… on…. your…. breathing” and “imagine yourself sitting…. sitting…. sitting….. breathing…. breathing…. breathing” so slowly and beautifully that I soon found the pains in my knees have gone away and I actually was drifting off to somewhere else. Now, I’m quite a relaxed man and I have often been described as ‘so laid back he’s almost horizontal’ on many occasions but I was still surprised at how quickly I managed to clear my mind. It was a great feeling and for a few blissful minutes I felt free, but then a few minutes later the pain in my legs became unbearable and I quickly slipped out of my higher state and back to reality as quickly as I’d slipped in. Not to worry I thought I was still very relaxed and had three more techniques to try and get that feeling back.

The next technique we tried was standing mediation. This was exactly the same just stood up and I found this much more comfortable on the glass knees than the assembly sitting position. Again once our smooth galaxy chocolate voice monk master started to guide us through the meditation his soothing voice started to take me off to a relaxing world where I could think about nothing and be free. I enjoyed this position more but after standing still in the same position for 15 minutes your legs and feet do start to ache. The monk master then told us “concentrate your mindfulness” on the pain and then when we opened our eyes we would feel light and the pain would disappear. It was amazing, when I opened my eyes it had worked, I felt as light as a feather, the pains had disappeared and I was completely relaxed.

Next we learnt walking meditation and were taken through correct steps and movements. It is basically walking very slowly and concentrating your mindfulness on each slow movement of your feet. This too was very relaxing but for some reason I just didn’t get into a deep relaxed state as the previous two sessions.

After we had finished we had a break to practice the walking meditation alone in our own time and then the bell rang again to summon us to dinner. Before we ate, we chanted together to be thankful for the food and think of everyone who was hungry in the world and not lucky enough in eat that evening. Dinner was a lovely vegan pad Thai and everyone would eat in silence to help with the mindfulness and relaxed state. Bliss.

After dinner we were once again all back in the meditation hall so we could practice laying down meditation for one hour. This was by far the most comfortable position for me but maybe not the best for freeing my mind. After such a long day and now being in such a relaxed state the only thing I could concentrate on was trying not to fall asleep. I don’t think I was the only one though and I think some of the group actually did (surprising not Jane for once though).

After we had finished it was time for a nice hot chocolate and free time to practice the techniques on our own if we wished. Jeong was tired and wanted to go back to the room to sleep and I was definitely not going to argue. Joeng hit the bed with a thud and was sleeping like a baby in no time, a bloody big baby.

Surprisingly, even though I was in such a relaxed state I did not sleep well and was already awake before the alarm bell went off at 5am. We once again gathered in the meditation hall so we could do morning chanting and then morning exercise (Yoga). After the yoga class we all went outside so we could line up to give alms to our two monk masters. This was a great experience for Jane and I after seeing the alms giving ceremony in Luang Prabang. After we gave the monks their daily feed it was time for our breakfast which was a yummy vegetable and tofu broth, or toast for those who were not so brave.

After breakfast we were again summoned back to the meditation centre for one last time. In this last session we were told we could practice any of the techniques we had previously learnt and try to meditate unguided by ourselves. First, I thought I would try standing meditation because I had excellent results with that the first day. It seemed to going well until an ant kept running over my feet and putting me off. I moved to a different area of the hall which was bug free and thought I would switch to laying mediation. I got comfortable and decided I would use the meditation beads that we had spent twenty pence on in the monk chat shop. This involves counting the beads until you reach the end and have counted them all (not as easy as you think without falling asleep). The first time I made it to 52 then drifted off, the second time 76, and then finally made it all the way to 108 and the end of the beads. What happened then was something strange and I never thought I would be saying this; my mind was totally free, it felt like I was floating in a parallel universe, flying on some sort of different plain, and it was beautiful. I have never felt anything like it, amazing.

After lunch we had a question and answer session with the monks which was very informative, and then a group photo and all said our goodbyes.

The Buddhist retreat was an amazing experience, one that I will never forget, and I am so glad that we did it. I will however miss the lovely tones of the Master Monk and may have to get his phone number so he can talk me to sleep on a night! Meditation is now something which I will definitely take away with me and use in the future. I recommend it highly.

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Comments

[Mum]

Meditation
I felt I was there with you,so well described. I can see you setting up a centre back in Hornsea. Perhaps this was meant to happen! You will have to teach me, I need this total relaxation.

[Anne Ash]

Our Masters
Perfect Peace.

[Jen]

Hornsea Meditation Retreat
sign me up xx