Ons maak sy winkel toe!

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“Ons maak sy winkel toe”

It’s 13:50 the day before my flight and I’ve officially hit my freak out, panic and “I should never have done it phase”. Wondering what is wrong with me, leaving a perfectly, comfortable, average life, I have the best friends I could ever ask for, I life in a nice place, I had a very cool job at a good company and as was proven these last couple of days, the most incredible family. Bottom line; I’m very lucky. So wtf am I doing?

I’m afraid, very afraid, let me just get it out there, because I’m not the pretentious type and I don’t think you’re human if you don’t hit a freak out and panic and wonder how much shit you’re going to get into in a place you’ve never been and decided to go wander around for who knows how long, without speaking a single word of Spanish and just realised as you type that that you did in fact forget to buy that phrase book!
If I was reading this, I’d have two questions;

1. Why are you writing when you’re still living in your very good friend’s spare room (or with your sister/brother/in your car).
The answer is because “die karretjie uit London” has spoken. Tamara said I should write down my feelings, so I’m doing that. (always listen to her, she’s super duper clever that one)

2. What is up with the title?

The reason I’m only freaking out now only, at this late stage is, because I haven’t had time to freak out about leaving yet, had to save my freak out for some other drama! This is linked to where the title comes from, is because I was a little occupied the last couple of days, entertaining myself with the lowest of the low, the scum of this planet and the reason why the world is sometimes such a mess!

I can’t claim the title though, I stole it from Ruan, who is a friend of my brothers and I heard it around 11:45 last night in the Randburg police station. I’m still suffering from ‘bom skok’, so I’m hoping to find the humour in the next couple of days..
I was able to rent the place out I’m living in for 3 months, from October to end of December, relieving some of the financial pressure. The deposit was paid immediately, but when I started asking questions about the first month’s rent….yeh… you guessed it, they didn’t have any.

Sunday night I was telling my brother- in-law and sister about this scenario, already having started legal procedures on Friday. My brother-in-law’s immediate reaction was to drive there and sort this nonsense out. The night was a bad one, the place is a mess, I lost my temper so badly as to have my little brother telling me to calm down and sit in the bakkie, the police man telling me he’s worried about me, because I can’t control myself and this scumbag throwing around lies like you can’t believe. Also claiming to have an attorney, which well, let’s just say they are “more into each other” than just being in each other’s pockets. I’m sure they share a couple of secrets that once seen, can’t be unseen!

So Monday I spoke to Johne (great attorney and even better friend) about 15 times, who helped me no end! A phone call comes through around 14:15, this numnut tried to open a case against me at the housing tribunal. Rushing there, the idiot couldn’t produce a real ID number….yeh, that’s how (or with whom…) I Roll! During this whole mess I was surrounded by 3 big guys, with very intimidating bakkies, without whom, that scum would still be living in my house. I owe them, big time!

Long story short, they eventually cancelled the contact after massive arguments and threats and we moved their stuff for them, now residing on the patio, as they refused to come fetch it in the parking lot. This was after I dropped to the very classy level of literally chasing this guy through a hotel! Shouting stuff and words that should never be repeated….but if you know me, you’d know I’ve never claimed to speak without certain words doing the round, but this was bad, even for me. I figured I should’ve been a cop, because that was the most adrenaline I’ve had in a very very long time, sure beats sitting behind a desk looking at Moving averages! I would prefer to chase him for someone else’s mess and not my own though.

So, turns out this Thing is a male escort…yes, you read it correctly, which explains why him and the attorney are so um, tight… So after attempting to catch this guy after jumping out of the taxi, running down the hotel corridor, waving his pathetic little arms shouting; “I’m calling security” we were standing in the police station and I said to the guys, I wonder what I thought I’d do with the guy if I did catch him, because I frankly, have no idea how to physically fight someone, maybe I would’ve kicked where it mattered, but Ruan figured “ons maak sy winkel toe”.

But he did out-run me

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Comments

[Freakshow]

Jy het my dag gemaak met die storie - dit is moer snaaks. Imagine jy het n male escort business in jou huis gehad terwyl jy weg was!! Ag, jou arme arme ding!! Kan net dink hoe kwaad jy moes gewees het!! Lief jou en pas jouself op...