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Published: December 1st 2009
I have rolled my dice
opened this package, as i opened my eyes
Why the confusion? suddenly,
and yet calm...
Am i though? i think.. I feel..
at home..why the confusion again?
Is it something hiding there, something fluid?
unseen by eyes? and yet no, nothing.
just thrown to the table.
I have rolled my dice..
and yet calm.
December. I left two months ago to come back to SA. things were thought to be set- still existing- they are not. there has been disappoints galore, yet they have all been matched and defeated by friends, smiles and beauty. I have putting much of my thought into Kwambo, going back to Amangwe, continuing the computer program I started and funded for so long..plus helping establish a backpackers, bringing tourism and attention to the small community and helping bring more funds into Amangwe.. I have been perched on the veranda next to the dogs, listening to the cry of the fish eagle..the vervet monkeys calling my attention and now another rain has fallen.. I watch below to the valley, happen to see a group of warthogs running across the field..my camera is inside..my latest contact with Amangwe has delivered a
message that struck another blow.they are not sure when they will be ready for me to do this, that and the other.. lack of space? preperation? confidence? I do not know..seems my impressions maybe assumptions punching me straight in the gut.. I keep getting back up.. determined to do something..something.. I look to the horizon, the mist of yesterday has cleared and I hope that this sunshine brings happy news.. let me try my hand, helping..things can only happen when there is will. I have it. I have had it since I arrived back here. Houses need to be renovated and cleaned up? okay. let's do it. and by next July, try our hand at running a great, exciting backpackers. I am waiting!! sitting on the veranda, other my only option that I can think up is to somehow acquire the group of houses we built back in 2006, sitting empty and try to start a backpackers there..as they are still standing and I wish they were being used..for something.. no one will be able to lead me on or disappoint me then.. but that would take money..investment..support.. eish, met eish man..shame..
Next day... yesterday I took a job,
working for Cyril. I had helped him last year a couple of times..loading the giant freezer at the farm with frozen goods/produce..from a big refrigerated truck. It was not easy work, but last year I wore long sleeves. It made all the difference in the world. you see, the guy in the truck throws a box to me and I quickly throw it to the next guy who then throws it into the freezer and then Cyril stacks them up.. 2 1/2 hours , 360 boxes later..with just a t-shirt..no padding from a long sleeved jacket.. my arms look awful. they look as if they were beaten by a splintering baseball bat. red,blue,purple..doesn't feel great either. but I would do it again, as soon as he needs help again. no problem.
the rain is back..light..nothing bad.. going to walk into town in awhile..
take care...
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Steven "Latham"
non-member comment
try try and try again
Josh...you are on the right track. Fall and get up...fall down again, get right back up! You will succeed with the fantastic attitude about everything you have.