'How Many Camels for Your Wife?' and Other Amusing Lines


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Africa » Egypt » Lower Egypt » Cairo
February 27th 2008
Published: April 12th 2008
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Sphinx, GizaSphinx, GizaSphinx, Giza

The giant paws of the Sphinx
The plane arrived on Feb. 25th, and there we were, in Cairo, Egypt. We bought our visas with minimal problems, then had to buy a chocolate bar to get some change for the bus. ATMs seem to love to spit out bills that are too high to change. After a little confusion with the bus, as all the numbers were in Arabic, we met a kind gent who wrote out the number to catch to downtown Cairo.

A man on our bus was also really kind. We started a conversation with him, and he helped us and told us when to get off, which also happened to be his stop. He crossed the street with us, almost killing us as we dodged between the crazy traffic. Later, we would discover that this is the only way to cross the street in Egypt, and often one must stand in the middle of the road as cars fly by on either side. He walked with us until we reached the hotel area, and then gave us his phone number, in case of an emergency. What a great person to meet, a nice Egyptian guy. We had a bit farther to walk to
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What a profile, thought to be modelled after Khafre
our choice of hotel, and it didn't help that we got a little lost and it was dark out.

Finally, we looked up and there it was, our hotel. In the lobby, we noticed a very old-style, gated metal elevator, and decided to take the safer, but slower stairs. Thankfully, the guys had a spare room in the amazing vintage building, or we would have been walking for a little longer. A guy named Mohammed, a very common name in Egypt, showed us to our room. It had a great view of the busy Cairo street scene below from a balcony that was five stories up.

We checked in, and wanted to relax after our flight and the long walk that we had just taken. There was a knock at the door, and it was Mohammed, bringing us towels and sheets to make up our beds. He started to make our bed, although we offered to do it ourselves. When he had finished, he turned and asked for a tip. A tip, for making up beds in a hotel room that we had just paid for? We said forget it, since one should expect a bed to be
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It's a bird, it's a plane, oh no wait.... it's little legs Magoo
made when getting a room. He sheepishly grinned, like he was just testing us.

This was our first introduction to 'baksheesh', one of the most frequently heard words by travellers in Egypt. This means giving a tip or money for what is usually a simple service. Such things as opening a door, pointing out obvious sights at the museum or pyramids, giving a few tiny pieces of toilet paper to use, carrying bags to ones room, or bringing room service. In our opinion, some of these things warranted a tip, and others didn't.

Our hotel was somewhat terrible. It literally had the worlds hardest beds, it was cold, with no heating, full of mosquitoes, had the odd baby cockroach, and a sometimes hot shower. It got a little chilly there in the evening, but not as cold as Delhi had been. On the bed were the normal gross, dirty sheets, full of 'leftovers' from the people before. We always used our sleeping bags in these sorts of situations. They were by far the best things we could have ever brought with us.

The next day we relaxed and acclimatized to the wonderful, exhaust scented air of twenty
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Andy feels a little, well...little
million plus people living in Cairo. This 'relaxing' turned into a huge walk to Khan-al-Khalili, the massive bazaar where tour buses full of people and local Egyptians go to spend their Egyptian pounds on anything from a souvenir t-shirt, to a giant hookah pipe, to bags of dried spices. It was huge, taking up blocks of alleyways. The Khan has apparently been a market since the 14th century, making it a very old market.

Winding our way through the mass of alleys, we felt like mice in a maze. Everyone was pretty persistent about getting us into their shops. One guy, smiling, asked Andy 'How many camels for your wife?', telling him he was a lucky man. This was quite funny, being the first time we had heard such a line. After a few laps around the place, we soon realized that everyone used the same lines, and it wasn't as funny the hundredth time we heard it. Eventually we got lost in the maze, but after some back tracking, finally found our way out, and headed home.

We were exhausted when we got back, and headed off to bed. Waking early, we went to see the Egyptian
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View of the plateau, from the entrance
Museum, which houses many of the famous pieces from the tomb of Tutankhamun, as well as thousands of other incredible artifacts. Getting there early, we had hoped to miss some of the crowds, but many of the tour buses in Cairo had the same idea.

The museum has two floors full of unbelievable artifacts from all over Egypt. We decided to spend all our time on one floor, then see the other in a few weeks time, when we returned to Cairo. We wanted to take our time and enjoy it, without getting all 'pharaohed out'. This turned out to be a wise idea, since we spent almost five hours on the top floor alone.

It was incredible to see these things in person. It was like we had walked into a National Geographic magazine on Egypt. The place was packed with tour groups, walking along with their guide, who spoke whatever language the group spoke, giving explanations of everything. We wove our way through the crowds to successfully see all the goodies on the top floor of the museum. Highlights for us were the Tutankhamun Galleries, which included his solid gold death mask, which weighs 11 kg,
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Christine and her gal pals
his many pieces of gold jewelry with incredibly detailed inlay, and his lion throne, carved of wood, covered in sheet gold, and inlaid with glass and semi-precious stones.

Another great section was a room full of animal mummies, including cats, dogs, crocodiles, rams, jackals, and birds, all carefully wrapped in linen. Then there were the washrooms, which were fun too. The bathroom attendant expected baksheesh for pretty much listening to the lucky patron who was going to the toilet. The nudge with the role of toilet paper, then the open hand, was our personal favorite gesture.

Other than the museum, an essential sight for us to visit was the Pyramids of Giza. The next day, we set off for the metro, but as soon as we got there, we learned that it had been closed down for some strange unknown reason. A kind local filled us in with the disappointing news, which we probably would never have figured out, since the announcement was in Arabic.

Luckily, our second choice, the bus, was located close by. We managed to find the stop, which wasn't the usual kind of Canadian bus stop. We had to go near an underpass,
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Excited to be here!
ask some locals if it was the correct stop, then try and figure out the Arabic numerals while the buses flew by, before flagging it down. We managed to get on to the right bus, crossed the Nile, and got off somewhere near the Pyramids of Giza.

There they were. We hadn't expected the pyramids to be plunked right in the middle of a huge city. One always thinks that they are off in a remote location in the desert. After fending off a bunch of guys trying 'help' us, but really trying to make a few Egyptian pounds off us by getting us on their camels, horses, or donkeys, we finally made our way to the entrance. There we were, at the only remaining site of the original seven wonders of the world.

As always, we arrived at the same time as all the tour groups, and school children groups, to top it off. Once we entered, we were treated with the incredible sight of the Sphinx staring back at us in the desert, with the three massive pyramids a short distance away up on the hill behind. The Sphinx, as great as it was, seemed a little smaller than we had expected, but it didn't make a difference to us or the hundreds of others from all over the world, as we all stood there with our mouths hanging open in wonder.

The pyramids were enormous, by far the largest tombs any pharaoh could ever want. We first hiked our way up the hill to see the Great Pyramid of Khufu, the largest and oldest in Egypt. It was completed in 2570 BC, with a estimated total of 2.5 million limestone blocks. Yes, it was huge; so high that your neck would get sore if you stared up at it for too long. Just like in India, we met many nice locals who wanted their photos taken with us. We had fun, and were happy to oblige.

We continued on to the Pyramid of Khafre, who was the son of the Pharaoh Khufu. We decided to descend down into the tomb of the second largest of the three pyramids. We went via the passageway to the inner chamber, which still contains Khafre's large granite sarcophagus. We aren't claustrophobic, but we felt like the massive pyramid was pressing down on us from above. Walking such a long way down the steep narrow shaft of the pyramid was hot and humid, and the air was hard to breathe. We didn't stay for very long, and were pretty happy to feel the breeze on our faces as we stepped out of the tunnel.

Then on to the smaller of the three large pyramids, the Pyramid of Menkaure, who was the grandson of Khufu. We noted a deep gash on one side, which is the result of an attempt to dismantle it in 1186 AD by Malek Abdel Aziz, who gave up after eight fruitless months. It was really strange to imagine the labour that it would have taken to build such incredible crazy creations.

The hassles continued inside of the pyramid gates as well. People would constantly ask us to get on a camel or donkey or some other strange mode of transportation. When we would go to take a picture, guys would jump into them, so they could try and charge us for taking their photo! We would tell them to get out of our picture, since we didn't want their photo. Then they would offer to take our photo, which we would refuse,
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Fruit vendor in town
as nice as we could, without getting angry. It was frustrating, but other than being followed around by persistent Egyptians, it was great to see these incredibly ancient sights.

After our adventures in Cairo, we decided to continue on to Luxor, to see the ancient capital of Thebes. We caught a train, and opted for second class tickets, which were half the price of first class, but with the same comforts. The ride was relaxing, and included some great scenery of the Nile, passing planted crops, date palms, donkeys, people working in the fields and mud brick villages.

Our seats were conveniently right next to the toilets, which in the end wasn't so great, since the door would constantly swinging open, wafting stinky fumes at us. Unfortunately, Andy started to get the stomach rumbles eight hours into the trip, and the toilet was already filled to overflowing, due to poor drainage. Then the ten hour train ride turned into thirteen, because of a train strike, where the employees were purposely driving slower than usual.

Arriving in the town of Luxor on the East bank of the Nile, we had to fend off many hotel touts and taxi
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View from our hotel rooftop
drivers. It was dark out and we walked to our hotel, which was only five minutes away. It was sweet relief for Andy to finally use the toilet in our hotel, even though it was dripping like a leaky faucet, flooding the bathroom slowly but surely. Our room was very cheap, around five Canadian dollars, and although breakfast was included, by the looks of the room, it was worth every cent.

The guys said that they would put us in a nicer room the next day. Instead, they gave us the runaround when we asked about it, so in the end we just stayed in our crappy room. The low price, hot water, decent breakfast, and quiet location made up for with dirtiness, bugs, and a horrible, leaking bathroom. The guys that worked there kept asking us to go on a tour with them, but we refused, knowing how rushed it would be. We liked to see the sights at our own pace, and not have anyone rushing us around and telling us where to go at what time.

The next morning, we set off on foot for the Temples of Karnak. By the time we arrived, the
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Entering the temple complex
large parking lot was already packed with tour buses. However, this didn't stop us from loving the amazing complex. Everything there seemed built on a massive scale, from the avenue of ram-headed sphinxes at the entrance, to the temples, statues in the temple of Ramses III and huge stone obelisks. Our favorite section was the Great Hypostyle Hall, where the stone pillars towered over us, covered with art and inscriptions, and many still had their 3200 year old paint visible, just incredible. On our way back to Luxor, we stopped in to see the Mummification Museum, a small but interesting room filled with the tools that were used during mummification, as well as some tomb offerings, and one mummy.

Luxor is known as a big hassle area of Egypt, mostly due to the huge number of tourists that visit there. On the streets, guys would constantly ask us if we wanted to go on a felucca (sailboat) ride, take a taxi, a tour, or a horse and carriage ride. Walking through the markets, men would use that famous line, 'Lucky man, how many camels for your wife?'. That, whistling, and eyeing up and down, well, not Andy, but Christine.
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Avenue of the ram-headed sphinxes


Another famous line that we heard frequently had to do with our country. People would always ask us where we were from, and we, of course, would reply 'Canada'. The standard Egyptian response is 'Canada Dry'. Strange, yes, we thought so too, especially since we didn't see a single bottle of Canada Dry anywhere during our trip. There are many variations of the standard 'Canada Dry' reply, some being 'Canada Dry or Canada Wet?', 'Canada Dry, Never Die!', and our favorite, 'Canada Dry, No Woman No Cry'. Honestly, any visitor to Egypt should reply 'Canada' and see what the response is, if you don't believe us!

Our next adventure was to cross the Nile, to tour the West Bank, the home of ancient Thebes. To get across, we took the local ferry, where we would often have chats with touts, taxi drivers, and hot air balloon guys, who rode the ferry back and forth, searching out customers. They often tried to talk us into some sort of 'good deal'. One time, the ferry captain even wanted Christine to get her photo taken driving the ferry, for a little baksheesh. Once we got off the ferry, we were again
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Detail from the Temple of Seti II
bombarded with people wanting to show us around, or guys trying to get a commission for showing us the way to their friends bike rental shop.

We decided to tour the West Bank by bike, taking the area in sections and pedaling around slowly. We rented ancient bicycles off a recommended guy named Mohammed (another one), who seemed pretty honest, and pedaled off. The landscape there was beautiful, lots of thick green fields of crops for a few kilometers along the Nile, then totally dry desert beyond it. We passed locals going about their daily lives, working in fields, riding their donkeys, or carts loaded up with sugar cane. One guy yelled out 'How many chickens for your wife?' as we rode past, which made us both laugh at this new variation of the famous line.

On the way to our first stop, we passed many shops where alabaster and other stone was carved and sold to tourists. After a long hot ride up a gradual hill, we finally arrived at our destination, the Valley of the Kings. We bought tickets at the entrance, which would allow us to choose three of the twelve tombs of the pharaohs
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Andy in the Temple of Ramses III
that are open to the public. However, this didn't include the tomb of King Tut, which required a extra ticket, costing almost three times as much as the entry fee! Since many of the other tombs are much more elaborate, we skipped this one, since we had seen the tomb goods already at the Cairo museum.

Instead, we visited the tombs of Ramses I, Tuthmosis III, and Tawosret. It was great to creep down the shafts carved deep into the stone, admiring the great works of art decorating the inside. Scenes of the pharaohs and the ancient gods were beautiful, some were in rough shape, but others looked well preserved, the reds, blues and yellows bright and vibrant. It was very surreal to be in a cemetery where kings were buried thousands of years ago.

It was very strange, guards inside the tombs would let people go into out of bounds areas, touch the walls or sarcophagi, or take pictures with the flash, all for baksheesh. We weren't interested, but we saw many people that were. Outside the tombs, guards with rifles would ask nicely and offer to take pictures of couples, then ask for baksheesh!. They were
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Statue of Ramses II
very persistent, and really, who wants to turn down a guy with a large gun. Some of this was a truly annoying experience, but it helped to keep a sense of humour. To see these incredible sights made it not so bad.

The next day, we pedaled to Deir al-Bahri, where we visited the great Temple of Hatshepsut. It sits at the base of, and is partially carved into the steep limestone cliffs behind. Hatshepsut, a queen, ruled as pharaoh for fifteen years after the death of her husband/half brother Tuthmosis II. Not surprisingly, it apparently was a peaceful and plentiful time in Egypt. The temple is in a stunning location, and had some beautiful relief work carved and painted on the walls.

Then we visited the Tombs of the Nobles, a few kilometers away, where we saw the tombs of Ramose, Userhet and Khaemhet. As the nobles were not expected to be as formal as the pharaoh, many of the tomb paintings included scenes of feasts, hunting with family members, and even scenes of hair dressing and barbers. This was a foreign concept to Andy, who got scared and ran screaming out of the tomb (kidding). Thus
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The massive pillars in the Great Hypostyle Hall
ended our second day on the West Bank.

The following day, we set off for the Valley of the Queens. We descended into the tombs of Amunherkhepshef, Khaemwaset, and Titi. The tomb of Amunherkhepshef especially, included some very beautiful artwork, which was bright and well preserved. Then we rode to Medinat Habu, the second largest temple complex after Karnak. Various temple complexes within were built by Hatshepsut, Ramses III, and Tuthmosis III. Some of the art is gruesome, depicting wars, with severed body parts. Murals in the second court depict religious ceremonies, and also there is quite a bit of graffiti from Victorian era visitors who left their marks on the walls over 200 years ago!

Riding bikes on the West Bank was beautiful and really relaxing, except for some of the hassles at the tombs and in the town. However, Luxor was amazing, and had some really great sights, as well as some great, friendly locals. The huge temples and crazy underground tombs, the beautiful Nile and the lush green fields. The history there is like no other place we have been, ancient, well preserved, and incredible. It was time to make our way south and head
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Is that a big obelisk behind Andy, or is the temple just happy to see him?
to Aswan, a more kicked-back place, where we could relax a bit, without all the chaos around us.


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Karnak Temple, Luxor

Towering obelisks
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Karnak Temple, Luxor

Beautiful stone work


12th April 2008

you dirty hippies
I ran into Deanna at this tiny sushi place downtown and she told me you two were ripping up the Asian countryside. We'll catch up more at the wedding, since I just got my invitation in the mail two days ago! Be sure to search for Neil Young fans in Dubai; I hear he's huge over there.
18th April 2008

Awesome
See both of you in a couple of pics so some 'baksheesh' must have crossed hands. Egypt looks great, so much to see, so much history. Keep us all up to speed on Christine and Andy's great adventures. See lots, have fun, travel safe.

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