As the Fear Fades...

---

Thursday, September 6th - Sunday, September 9th, 2007

I arrive at the Suvarnabhumi Airport in Bangkok at 10:30 am on Thursday, September 6th. I'm bleary eyed, exhausted and still brooding over the $50 fee that Air Canada charged to ship my bike. But everything arrives in one piece, and I make it through immigration unscathed, so chin up, I tell myself. I whisk my bike box and bag out the door and the sweltering heat slaps me in the face like an angered woman. I light a cigarette, take a deep breathe of the cities exhaust fumes, watch the taxi driver hustle in front of me and exhale slowly. Aww, it feels good to be back in Asia.

The last time Thailand made a splash on the world stage was just about a year ago - September 19th, 2006 to be exact - when then Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra was ousted while attending a UN meeting in New York by his own Thai military, in a bloodless coup which saw tourists taking pictures alongside large tanks and smiling soldiers. The junta still excercises control over government, with martial law in effect in some states and a new constitution in the process of being drawn up; a constitution that some fear will limit freedom of speech and other little goodies that democracy always seems to promise. Questions start popping into my head like, 'How are the Thai people ever supposed to take their form of democracy seriously when leaders and constitutions are changed as often as dirty diapers? But with a strong constitutional monarchy, and the revered King's yellow colours flying proudly they seem to be dealing with the blows as they come. And what am I thinking about things like this for anyways? I'm on a tourist visa and I'm here for the beaches, babes, and the beer.

I am dropped off by a very forgiving taxi driver (think big box, little cab) on the famed Khao San road; a backpacker ghetto in the heart of Bangkok, where any traveller to Asia has undoubtedly spent some time. Like any other highly trafficked tourist area in the world, Khao San stinks of hawkers, tour operator scams, easy-to-reach pleasures and overpriced everything.

My first day is spent running around Bangkok clueless, trying to pick up all the whatnots I will need before I hit the boonies, like malaria pills and passport photos. It's during these errands that 'The Fear' starts to take hold. It was easy sitting in Saskatchewan telling my friends over cold beers that I was going to ride my bike to China. They'd ask me, with incredulous expressions how I was going to manage, and I'd assure them calmly, as if I'd already done it. But here I am in Bangkok, scared to take my bike out of the room, wondering if I shouldn't have stuck to less formidable challenges, like eating twenty hotdogs in an hour, and worked my way up from there. There's no turning back for me now though; one of the beauties of ignorance and stubbornness.

I take in a Muay Thai fight on Friday night and it helps calm my nerves somewhat. Not one usually impressed by blood and testosterone, the fighting holds a strange grip on me from my ringside seat. The cheap seats packed full with screaming men placing bets, the families ringside cheering uncontrollably everytime a blow is landed, the feverish pitch of the accompanying band, and the pride and effort in which these men fight gives it all an electric atmosphere. It turns out I might have a wee thirst for blood after all. The walk back to the guesthouse is spent with me throwing my best punches and kicks into the night air.

Coffee, cigarettes, pineapple juice and a quiet cafe help Saturday pass by without event, and before I can say holydoodles, my bags are firmly attached to my bike and I'm riding down a sleepy Khao San road, hoping that the Sunday morning traffic will be less intimidating than the rest of the week was. My saddlebags are heavy and I'm a little wobbly, but I'm off. I forget that the Thai's drive on the left side of the road, rendering my mirror useless and disorienting me for a quick minute. My goal is to try and make it to Hualomphong train station five kilometres south east, where I will catch a train to Bangpa-In some sixty kilometres north, where the real trip will begin.

A short left off of Khao San road throws me onto a busy street. I stay as far left as I can and start pedalling. A feeling comes to me like something from the distant past, something foreign and long forgotten, but I recognize it immediately - adrenaline. My palms sweaty, hands shaky, legs spinning, and heart pumping I keep pushing forward as the roar of motorbikes, tuk-tuk's and buses drown out my thoughts. I laugh like a deranged maniac and give a few shouts of 'Yee' and 'Haw' as I think how foolish I was to fear this. I feel like Indiana Jones on crack as I pull up to the train station with strange looks from the Thai's and farang's alike. I'm only five kilometres into a journey even I, myself, doubt I will pull off, but for the moment I'm walking that straight path to the Holy Road. Look out Jesus, Buddha, Mohammad, I'm on my bike, and it has a bell on it that people seem to like.

---

Comments

[todd]

shameless censorship
Travis you've been in Bangkok for four or five days and this is all you tell your readers. What inquiring minds want to know is how many ping-pong shows and lesbian cabarets have you taken in, how many underaged shims have fallen in love with you, have you been able to piece together you drunken antics from the night before yet, and is that brain damage permanent or not? Instead we get 3rd rate Kerouac with a feel good ending. Please, that's not like you at all. Certainly not in that den of derranged temptation (and just remember I was with you last time around so I know firsthand what your sick mind is capable of). I was half expecting you to say that pooh bear was god or something. Believe me now is not the time for you to abandon irony and sarcasm, not when you need them most. By the way you should rent a boat in Aluthaya to take you around the island, its very reminiscent of "Apocalypse Now". Be safe :)