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Published: June 17th 2007
Me and me Hubba-Bubba-Bird Emma
Watch Darrens mess on the dancefloor luv Alice Springs..........hmm....................Daz i take my hat off to ya for staying there for three months if Barney and Fred stumbled along the road with Dino it wouldn't of look outa place.
The plan was to stay here for about a week but include a three day Uluru (Ayers Rock) trip but the way the last week of the Premiership turned out and trying to juggle our sightseeing between televised games we ended up doing just a one day trip; the last day we were there.
We both really wasn't to fussed about seeing a big redish rock in the middle of nowhere but thought we can't exactly not go considering how close we were. The trip exceeded expectations; first impressions on getting on the bus in the morning was why the hell are all these backpackers wearing grey wigs????? Err they weren't backpackers at all, we'd signed up for the trip with a bunch of over 65's. This turned out to be highly amusing, we befriended a couple from Norwich and the fella was a retired police constable. Many an interesting tale and was a nice change from the usual travelling babble.
A couple of walks around
Uluru were included and was funny watching the old ears 'bless em' struggling in the heat.
There was an option to climb the rock itself but talk about the guide trying to put u off, the fact 36 people have died climbing the rock was enough to convince us it was a bad idea so we decided to stay with the group and do a couple of small treks at ground level whilst nattering how much we miss PG tips and Coronation Street!!!!!!
After a few hours of listening to the guide explaining yet more Abouriginie crap stories it was time to light the barbie and crack open the 'FREE' booze.
RESULT, after months of surviving the evenings entertainment on Goon we were treated to a near unlimited supply of Champagne; traveling wasn't supposed to be like this, Champers only comes out the closet on NYE or cousins weddings!!!
A really strange but good day we arrived back in Alice late at night. Meself and Daz had booked on a three day trip to Darwin the following day and although we 'thought' we weren't getting picked up till midday we decided that after getting up @6am
to go to Uluru we'd leave the bar well alone and retire to bed.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.................peacefully sleeping............zzzzzzzzzzz.......... dreaming Spurs had just won the Premiership............ zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...................................... Pamela Anderson...............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......................................... BANG BANG BANG "UH", wot da hells going on, quick glance at the clock it's 5am, open the door with a confused look on me face to find to brightly faced tour guides saying "are u Karl" err yah, wot's going on (am i dreaming or is this really happening) the bus is outside picking you up to go to Darwin" i glance around the room searching for the leaflet to prove that we ain't supposed to be leaving till midday to see all of my rucksacks contents covering every floor tile there was. It turns out i had the old leaflet, "ok, we'll give you ten minutes".
Daz went through exactly the same experience, he was staying in the staff quaters and is certainly one of those things we can laugh about now but not at the time!!!!
"SHIT"
Unshaven, scenting of Champagne still, me and Daz board the bus with a few evil looks going on. We sent our apologies and thought if first impression are
everything then this is guna be a very long three days.
It all turned out good though, there was about 16 people on the trip plus two tour guides and by the time we'd reached Tennants Creek by nightfall we were all one big happy family. May have had something to do with the amount of Goon we'd all just purchased but believe me, there ain't alot else to do in the Outback. If a bus ever stops so we can browse another rock formation then i think suicide maybe on the cards.
The highlights of the trip (if u can call them that, far too many rocks) include stooping at a random petrol station in the middle of nowhere with a certain Alien theme going on. Apparently this is the place where you are mostly like to spot a UFO, yeh right, we are sure the population of 13.5 (one bloke had two heads) just made this up so tourists would stop and sample their manky pies!!
Devils Marbles and Katherine Gorge were advertised on the leaflet as the real selling point; we suggested to the tour guide to just include a 10% off coupon
for Goon in future because if u've seen one amazing rock formation u've seen 'em all. The heat and flies didn't add to the 'WOW' factor either so as you can probably guess if it wasn't for the people we met on this trip we would have finished six Catherine Cookson novels over the three days.
One part I really enjoyed was taking a much needed refreshing swim in a lake that i can't remember the name of. We were told that freshwater crocs were present in there but if we stuck as a group then they'd be more scared of us than we are of them; yeh right, me rents have been telling me that for years about spiders but i still won't go to the bathroom alone back home!!!!!
A group of about six of us swam a couple of hundred meters to a waterfall across the far side of the lake/basin/river/creek call it what u want to where we sat on the edge of a rock dangling our legs into the water. Picture the scene, chatting merrily wiv my new hubba-bubba-bus mate Emma and suddenly i feel something clamp onto my right foot beneath
the murky water, i screamed like a girl and was in a state of shock wondering if i was just about to be pulled under to start a 'death roll Dundee style' when the grip loosened and a little lads head pops to the surface in fits of laughter with his mum thinking it was the funniest thing since her husband left her for a younger model.............RARRRR, i of course had to smile sweetly and murmer the words "oooo u little bugger you", this was an amazing example of self control. I wanted to tie chickens to this little b#stard and chuck him in a saltwater croc pit. Everyone else of course found ot hilarious w#ankers!!!
Daz opted out of taking a plunge and decided to spend his free time wisely by supping scooners at a nearby bar, he kind of had a 'Brit on the piss' label throughout this tour and for all that know him I can't think why!!
After the swim back we were informed how the remainder of our bus had spotted a Snake in the water and also located a sign saying it is not uncommon for 'Salties' to enter these waterways. Jesus,
glad i didn't know that before the return swim back or i would of crapped meself.
I know it's a bit naff but our favourite part of the tour was the 'Daly Waters' pub. This place really is in the land that time forgot but such a good vibe to the place. All that visit are invited to hang something or stick something to any spare bit of wall or bar they can find. There were knickers, bras,coins,footy shirts, photo, teeth.....anything u can think of basically. After much persuassion (OUCH) i parted with my Spurs/England flag that was with me at the Ashes and all of our group wrote a little comment in their respective language so that was pretty cool.
We arrived in Darwin early evening and a quick SSS (shite shower shave) we were downing cocktails at the bar in the hostel. It all goes a bit hazy after this where we ended up in a nightclub where Daz turned to me after yet another sambuca and mumbled the words of "ah Jesty i feel............." Ahh RANK. Projectile vomit proceeded to dent the dancefloor and Daz was left feeling worse for
wear. The three days had finally caught up with the poor fella and he stumbled home to bed. A few of us continued to dance around the mess as though it was someones handbag on the dancefloor. A few more Sambucas later and Myself and Emma realised the music had stopped, the lights were on and it was 5am. It only took us 5 mins to reach the club but half an hour to get home..."God bless shooters".
The next day was spent perspiring next to the pool and feeding Daz Prozak after watching Manu lose to Chelsae in the FA cup final.
So to conclude things it was a puka few days but more for the people than the places.
Two geordie lasses on the bus were on our flight to Bali and i also met up with Stacey in Darwin who i'd met on Fraser Island and she was also booked on the same itinery. 2 studs, 2 Geordies and a krazy Irish lass together and we jetted off into the sunset...............................................Look out Bali.
NB. Apologies for crap quality and content of photos, i've had to steal these off Facebook and Emmas blog as my Camera dissapeared as if by magic at the Full moon party when we got to Sanui. I lost 600 photos all the way from Sydney to Thailand, gutted but i'll get over it.
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Bobbie
non-member comment
U be a dingbat
Hi and a small question.... What the hell happened to you? I sat with my wife and kids all waitin to see "old uncle Karl" and he never came to visit. Never mind old chap the offer still stands. Come when ever. I am now back in uk at the usual place. see ya!