Lima is for Haters

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The weekend in Lima was OK. It was pretty much peruvian frat boys listening to American pop techno bullshit in a beautiful home with a magnet on the refrigerator that says “ese hogar es catolica gracias por respetar nuestra fe.” Many go to throw up their chifa and pisco in corners of the front lawn. One of them asks if I have made out with any Peruvian girls…Of course I haven’t, Im a loser, I don’t make out with anyone. The night did kind of get better as the rich Peruvian girls got themselves super drunk and insisted they could drive themselves home: done in this country by shouting “Ir me” (I can go).
I go to Spanish class that week. All the Europeans have boyfriends and go to parties, and feel emotions…what fuckers. Did I mention the breathtaking, heartbreaking, serene beauty of Machu Picchu? Would you believe that at one point, Peru covered nearly all of South America? Would you believe that at one point, somebody probably cared about me? Would you believe Bolivia has a navy? I went with my Peruvian Dad to Amazonas, the black market in a shady area of Lima. It was great. I can’t wait to return.
It used to be in the markets, vendors would not refrigerate their food. “If the potential customer sees the food is refrigerated, he or she will not buy it because it is not fresh. If it is not refrigerated, if it is out in the open and there are flies landing on it then the customer will know it is fresh, and buy it.” Or, “if its good enough for the flies, its good enough for me.” My food science teacher told me that, she also said that that occurs less now. I’d love to be a food scientist in Peru, it would be like being a boyfriend at an all girls college. You’d have to try to be fired for negligence. But at the same time I tire of going easy on the world. I’m ready to succeed at something.
Peru has a bunch of problems in its history. In 1895 the literacy rate was 5%. Currently, the per person GDP hovers around $6,000, (U.S. its $ 50,000). It has some problems now as well, our Peruvian friend Pedro was held at gunpoint on a bus in Lima for his Itouch. In 1997 the Japanese Embassy was taken over by terrorists and held for months. But now you can go there for study abroad, just stay away from those German girls. They’re mean bitches, they’ll take the fun out of your day faster than you can say Entschuldigung Ich Sagte hallo, Hündin . (Hey! thanks google translate!)
Ya that’s pretty much all for now. Who knows, life may work out after all. Peru may never be able to drop an atomic bomb, but that doesn’t mean it can’t provide education and infrastructure for its citizens. We can all learn something from Peru’s example. As long as we remember the advice Charlie Daniels gave us: Just watch where you’re going, remember where you been; that’s the way I see it I’m a simple man.

Yours forever, or never, which ever you prefer
David

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Comments

[Jennifer L.]

Hallo.
I'm sorry to hear that the German girls are not nice. You told the literacy rate for 1895, but I'm curious to know what it is at now? Do you know? It sounds like the country has made vast strides. There are many people who care about you David! So you shouldn't say things like that. You're entry is as witty and entertaining as always. Jen

[David Copperfield]

Yes, according to the CIA world factbook The literacy rate, defined as those aged 15 and over that can read and write is 92.9% for the total population for males it is: 96.4% females: 89.4% (2007 Census) Thanks Jen, I try so hard now. I promise.