British Incas Get Explosive Welcome to Peruvian Heartlands

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We do get accused of dumbing down ... so as not to disappoint - here is a brief history of the Incas (for reference throughout).

If John Hemming is reading this (author of "The Conquest of the Incas" - and regarded as one of the primary sources of Inca knowledge worldwide) - then sorry John. Truly we are.

But then again John Hemming won´t be reading this as he willl have some important research ... or exploring to do ...

Anyway:-

Incas were cool - and they lived in South America from about 1200 when the first Inca Manco Capac was sent to find the navel of the earth. He found Cusco - no doubt he was getting a bit bored of trying to find a city/town/place resembling a belly button.

Point one therefore - is that the Italians copied the notion of Umbilico del Mondo. We bought a patch from Cusco to prove it it says "Cusco - Umbilico del Mondo"... so even your one song isn´t your song after all.

Everything was fine in Inca Land until about 1400-1450 when other people started attacking the Incas. So they retaliated - and expanded outside Cusco - to other parts of South America. For those who are interested - Pachacutec Inca was the main (and first) protagonist to this end. There were a few comings and goings - and then - when Atahualpa was Inca (or emperor - after a particularly nasty civil war fight with his brother) the Spanish arrived - the conquistadors. - led by a chap called Francisco Pizzaro. Atahualpa was captured - and murdered - and a new Inca was introduced as a puppet by the Spanish - Manco Inca. Of course - 4 years later the puppet rebelled and there was a bloody battle just outside Cusco. Manco Inca fled - to a city called Ollantaytambo .. and then eventually to Vilcabamba. Needless to say . the conquistador won in the end and now everyone speaks Spanish here. Which is somewhat inconvenient at times (joke - promise).

Anways - on with the show....

Day 25 - January 25th 2008 - Quito, Ecuador
Our penultimate day in Ecuador was spent getting ourselves together. Blog, Laundry and then a lovely meal in Cafe Mosaico - on the hills overlooking the city (thanks Cheryl/Rab - spot on!). Shared some reflections on the last few days ... thought it best to forget about it ... we buried our head in the sand.



Day 26 - January 26th 2008 - Quito, Ecuador
Because today was the day we left Ecuador - this meant a flight. Nathan isn´t a good flyer (he´s just decided on this trip). It´s less about the plane - and more abut the process for getting onto the plane. The checking in thing to be precise. He´s on a course to work this through (specifically taking more than 10 flights in the next two months).

Well we all know Betsy´s bag was too heavy ... so we decided to send some things home. 3.8kg of things home exactly. So we went to DHL first ... as frankly it was the closest to the hotel. After spending the time getting past DHL security (men with guns) we asked to send this package to Rhuddlan. We left soon afterwards when he charged us $297 (circa 150 quid). Now the presents are good ... but good God ... we eventually sent it snail mail ... for $40 (still 20 quid or so).

3 random things to bear in mind in Ecuador:

- iPods don´t work at heights of 3500m-4000m. They just go very hot - and then click a lot. And eventually run out of battery. Then they´re ok again at a decent height.
- You can fill a bus full of diesel for 15 quid (Nathan onced watched in horror as a coach driver at Ferrybridge services had to pay 250 quid for the same thing)
- When stopped by police - don´t offer them a biscuit. On our way back from Tena the coach was stopped at a regional border ... passports were checked and Nathan offered the guard a biscuit. Nathan´s passport was checked again with a stone cold icy stare.

Today´s flight was the flight we weren´t looking forward to when our itinerary was confirmed. We had a 9pm flight from Quito to Lima (arriving at 11pm). Our connection to Cusco was at 0525 the following morning. We decided our tactic was to stay awake and pretend it was New Year´s Eve or something (substituting alcohol with Uno/cards)

So we checked in - alongside some American bubble gum chewing tennis players.

LAN Peru does not care about baggage weight. They (the tennis players ... and the man from LAN) just kept putting on bags, and bags and then some more bags ... and then took on a huge tennis racquet bag on as hand luggage. This annoyed Nathan.

Got to Lima ... followed the hugely efficient process (truly) and were back into the shopping area within 15 minutes of us getting off the first plane.

We waited ... and we sent email for 3 hours at a very random time of the evening (i.e. 1am - 3am). And we waited ... and then ... just as we were starting to flag ...

Inca Watch: Oh yes ... here we are ... eventually ... Inca Nath has an Inca Cola T-Shirt ... and this time the logo won´t wash off in the wash ...

Day 27 - January 27th 2008 - Cusco, Peru
... they cancelled our flight. 40 minutes before it was due to leave. For "mechanical failure". Which is just a lie. Could it be that there was another Cusco flight leaving 25 minutes prior - and that that flight had sufficient room to take everyone on our flight? Yes - we think it probably was ...

And so we got to Cusco at 6am - and went to our hotel. The Del Prado Inn, Cusco.

Now let us put some myths to bed about this hotel. The Del Prado Inn was (is) lovely. And we had a Suite with a Jacuzzi. The staff were (are) the best staff we have seen in Suth America. Friendly (to a fault), and will do absolutely anything for you. It was also a pricey place. And the location - just off the Plaza de Armas was spectacular.

We checked in at 7am and went to bed for a few hours. We got up - zombied - had lunch at the old Sophie, Tracy and Betsy haunt (Los Perros) and then had a jacuzzi - watching Man U beat Spurs in the FA Cup. We took some advice about dinner - and had pizza (I will come back to the propensity of Pizza in Peru ... so hold your breath TJ) ... and it was probably the best pizza we have ever had (so there)...

And then we went back to our luxurious hotel in the centre of one of the finest cities in all of South America. 2130 in the evening - and "Happy Feet" was on the TV - we hadn´t seen this - so decided to chill.

And then (frankly) we were in our own movie. We promise that the old exaggeration thing is not applicable here ... all this really did happen ....

There was a TREMENDOUS BANG. Our door came off its hinges, the window frame came through and there was glass everywhere. Ears ringing ... alarms sounding. There had been an almighty explosion.

We were in bed - in the corner of the room - and we were unhurt. You OK? Yes - we need to get out of here.

And so we walked on broken glass to get out of there - put jeans and shoes on - collected money and passports - closed the caja fuerte - and went. We were on the top (fourth) floor.

Is there a fire downstairs? Is this a bomb? Are there some people dead? Is there another explosion coming?

People wandering around in underpants (not cool) - we were dressed appropriately for the occasion (of course)

The hotel was built around a courtyard which had a glass roof - at the 4th floor level. And this roof had come down - glass everywhere ... a frightening scene. Some of the rooms had come off much worse than ours.

As we got outside - the ambulance was there - and one had already been and gone. Cèsar the receptionist was in a pretty bad way (we subsequently found out that Cèsar was the one who had been into the boiler room to check the hot water - switched the light on and ignited a gas leak. He was badly cut and burned - and will be in hospital for some time). 2 more guest were sent to hospital too (at one point - all the guests seemed to be being herded into the ambulance).

We didn´t need a hospital - a few bear hugs went down well instead.

There was also a crowd of 100-200 people and the "police" were just arriving. It was pouring down. Oh good - there goes our sleep. But it wasn´t a bomb, and it was just our hotel so this was good (sort of)

And so there we were - in the pouring rain, shaking with shock, with an Australian couple who were due to get up at 5am to go to Machu Picchu.

The Met Police would have been horrified. It was chaos.

No one was in charge. One fat "policeman" thought he was in charge - but in actual fact there was no one in charge. If that had happened in the UK, or the US, anywhere in Europe (potentially!), Israel, Australia, NZ etc. then there would have been a zone cordoned off - immediately - and no one would have been allowed near the scene until a week on Tuesday.

Not a word of it.

We were asked to wait in reception. WAIT IN RECEPTION?? And there was no secure zone. Whoever wanted to go into the hotel (including members of the public) were allowed into the hotel. Unless you said something the fat "policeman" didn´t like - and then you had to wait outside. A German tourist had to assist the "fire brigade" in turning off the gas (as we were all "waiting in reception" - which for Betsy and myself manifested itself as waiting outside in the rain thanks.)

And then the "best" bit. 90 minutes to 2 hours after the event - the "bomb squad" arrived. And promptly tripped over the step into the building and fell flat on his face. Priceless.

Eventually - and incomprehensibly - we were asked to go and collect our things. Amidst the chaos - we found a reason to use our head torches (oh yes - they had also eventually thought it a good idea to cut the power to the hotel). The door to the hot water tank - housed in a little cupboad - next to the jacuzzi was open (clearly someone - a fireman we were told - had been to check these) - and whoever he was had helped themselves to Nathan´s iPod. Just on the way to that cupboard was a table on which the iPod had sat - with the speakers - with an alarm set for the morning. The iPod was still marked in the dust.

But the staff of the Del Prado were magnificent. They worked tirelessly (non-stop until the following afternoon actually) to ensure that the guests were ok - and that the police weren´t causing too much of a nuisance. Luis in particular (with Percy) ensured we had a hotel for the night - and that we paid for nothing ... so at 2330 - we were in bed - in another hotel (not as nice) just around the corner...

Inca Watch: Just like the Incas when the Spanish Conquistador arrived - we didn´t flinch (much) and we weren´t moved (apart from 2 streets away)

Day 28 - January 28th 2008 - Cusco, Peru
I don´t know who it is who thinks firecrackers at 7am (and then 8am) in the Cusco morning is a good idea - or indeed necessary. Thy could have thought about cancelling them on the 28th. As you may imagine we woke with such a start - what the f***???? (said out loud)

We thought we were under attack - shaking - and it of course meant that Nathan still had not got enough sleep (of course - this also means that Lizzy hasn´t had enough sleep but clearly Nathan needs more than Lizzy - as she doesn´t seem to mention hardship that much)

We went to the police station to report the iPod. And bloody hell - he was brilliant - Ronald Cabrera take a bow.

He insisted we went to the hotel - so we did - and on the way he told us about recent protests against Peruvian Government plans to relieve building restrictions around Peru´s most important archaelogical sites. A hotel outside the gates of Machu Picchu is ok (in our eyes of course) - but a Maccy D´s next to the Temple del Sol - within the sanctuary itself ... coming soon it seems.

After an hour or so it was decided that the hotel itself would replace the iPod and speakers. Ronald wasn´t sure about this - but went with the idea anyway.

And then we decided to move on with our trip. So we went to the Inca Museum where our courageous British Incas could get in touch with their heartlands.

If we´re honest it was a bit dull - so we went for some beer.

Now you have to understand that we were traumatised - so drinking beer isn´t such a bad thing to do - all afternoon - in San Blas (one of the nicest parts of the city). As a bonus we also met a lovely Israeli girl - Mirkhal - who accompanied us drinking beer ... and there were some Canadians, Ozzies and Kiwis too. It was all very nice (we think).

Eventually decided to go to dinner with Mirkhal ... had Lasagne ... cause we were traumatised. Is that ok by you Tommy?

Anyway - it was bloody lovely...

Inca Watch: Went to the Inca Museum ... some Inca chap asked for a picture with the original Inca Nath. He reluctantly agreed.

Day 29 - January 29th 2008 - Cusco, Peru
Today we got up with the intent of starting this trip all over again - after the false start ... so we did. After the firecrackers of course. We did the travelling thing - confirmed our flights out - checked the sights - and set off.

Now then (refer to the brief history if you will). We walked up the hill (sorry THE HILL as it isnt a hill - it´s A HILL) to Saqsaywamàn - sight of the bloody Cusco battle in 1536 - when Puppet Manco Inca rebelled. When Pachacutec had this built - he was clearly on the sauce - as he envisaged this site as the head of puma where the body was Cusco ... so built 22 zig zagged walls to act as the puma´s teeth. Two things - Cusco isn´t the shape of a puma (as you might imagine . there are a few maps which try to map this shape out ... all very unsatisfactorily) and also - if Cusco was a puma - then the 22 teeth are upside down. We would most definitely have been better Incas than this lot (err... from the strategy perspective of course). All the same - it´s a hugely impressive place - some of the stones are 8.5 metres high and 300 tonnes plus. The same old "how the bloody hell??" thing is ongoing - it´s probably just a lot of pushing, people and grunt ... (insert your own analogy).

Another interesting fact. Say Saqsaywamàn to a Cuzqueñon and they invariably say "sexy woman" back to you. Hilarious.

The weather was beautiful. Nathan proved that he was a better Inca on the Inca throne than Lizzy (was there ever any doubt?). And then it rained - a lot ... like Bell House Moor - on a rainy day.

Nathan was getting nervous about the (rail) tickets to Machu Picchu and insisted on walking to the railway station to get them. So we did (bless her) - and when we got there - were charged $228 (115 quid) for a return trip.

We feel no remorse here.

Just like GNER (National Express)

Inca Watch: Today Inca Nath and Inca Betsy sat on the Inca Throne at Saqsaywamàn. And it felt good (and Nath was better at being an Inca. Fact Betsy.)

Day 30 - January 30th 2008 - Ollantaytambo, Sacred Velly, Peru
And so to the first day of 3 of the best days of the entire trip so far. Normally when you´re booking accommodation in places such as this (as many of you will know) - you´re always looking for the small print. What are the extras - is this a good deal (etc. etc.)

Well on this day - we had booked the El Albergue B&B in Ollantaytambo and Virguit (from the B&B) had organised us a taxi for $35 to get there (for the 2 hour trip). Bargain we thought - and certainly better than PeruRail.

Well - Virguit did better than this - and she actually came to meet us - on the steps of the Cathedral at 10am - with the taxi in tow - well ... not exactly you understand ... (driven by Eloy).

We drove through Peru´s Sacred Valley - stopped for some piccys - and Virguit bought us both a charm bracelet - as a token of friendship - from a local girl.

When we arrived - she took us for a short walk to the B&B whilst Eloy took our bags to the accommodation - the birds were singing and the sun shining - and that big BANG was a long way back.

But it was the accommodation that was the coup de grace. Right on the railway platform (like - one of the buildings) there were doggies, a cool throwing game (Nath will build one for Bell House - just as soon as we can barter down the price of the frog - you´ll understand soon enough) and the rooms were fantastic - with a cool little balcony. There was a sauna - and all for 44 quid (including breakie and taxi for 2 hours) ... bloody marvellous.

Went to the Ollantaytambo fortress (read your short history) - and paid a guy a few soles to show us around. A great investment - I bet you can´t wait for us to walk you through the significance of Condors, Pumas and our old friend the Serpiente on our return ...

The short version is that this is very well preserved and a real treat - and Nathan got to be an Inca again.

We had a some beer, a good meal and went to bed. A great day.

Inca Watch: Too much to tell here but oh yes ... we nailed the Inca thing today - the Ollantaytambo fortress - what a place ... and how clever were (are) those Incas??

Day 31 - January 31st 2008 - Pueblo Machu Picchu, Sacred Valley, Peru
Today was the day we were "throwing money at it" - the Machu Picchu Sanctuary Lodge.

We had to wear our posh clobber and so we got on the train at 0853 frm Ollantaytambo (but not after Lizzy had given Virguit her coconut ring and Virguit had cried).

We travelled alongside the Coco Pops River (you see - do you prefer Coco Pops River as a name for a river.- to conjure an image - or do you prefer the Rio Urubamba? At least with Inca Nath´s name - you can imagine the colour eh? We would have been better Incas ... in the non-combatitive sense of course). And started to see the familiar mountains around Machu Picchu.

Aguas Caliente.

Now the last time Lizzy was here (with Ems, Trace and Soph) - they had walked the Inca Trail - for 4 days and 3 nights. In this terrain a real achievement.

Because we had arrived by train - we had a choice to make. Whether to get up to the hotel - outside the main gates to the ruins - via bus or foot.

Yeah , yeah ... bus ... of course ... it´s obvious.

Sorry ... it´s not obvious. Maybe it was because we felt guilty for getting the train, maybe it´s because we have a (smallish) passion for walking - or maybe it´s thay bloody altitude again. But we walked.

Fist via the Machu Picchu ticket office .... where we were forced to handover another 40 quid - and then via the Museo do Sito Manuel Chàvez Ballòn (in England this would be called "The Machu Picchu Museum") - which wasn´t free and cost another tenner. It may not seem like a lot - but it´s that setting expectations thing again ... the Lonely Planet had led us to believe something entirely different.

And so we set off uphill. Sorry ... done it again BLOODY WELL UPHILL without water ...

Now we are pretty fit ... (honest guv) - but by the time we passed an American couple coming downhill - and who helpfully informed us we were about halfway there - we were ready to cry. Or Lizzy was anyway.

It is fairly easy to picture the scene. In our posh clobber - wet through with sweat, red in the face (it´s that altitude again you see), desperate for water ... right in front of the poshest hotel we have had the pleasure to stay at.

So out of place did we seem - that Nathan was actually stopped by the porter of said hotel - and asked the direct question about what he was actually doing here?

Idiot.

After recovery (thankfully not of the cardiac variety) we were taken to our room and informed that everything - that´s everything
- was inclusive (Yorkshire alert - so it bloody well should be at that price)

Let´s move on - but it was fantastic - and although not worth the money - it was worth doing. Which may well be the same thing - but heh ho.

Had lunch - and boy oh boy - did Betsy set off to get her moneys worth ... she had wine with lunch - and 3 courses ... and she ate everything (Estrella del Mar II a distant memory)

Chilled out in the room for a while and then went for a walk.

Now because the ticket for the sanctuary (Machu Picchu) was so expensive - we only bought a ticket for tomorrow. But when we walked up to the booth to ask if the ticket allowed multiple entrances in the same day - and when there was no one there at the booth - we kind of kept on walking ... yes Mums ... Lizzy and Nathan gate-crashed Machu Picchu.

It´s a difficult one - and remember that Lizzy has been before - but Machu Picchu kind of looked like the pictures you see all the time. It was the atmosphere - and the sounds that were odd ... we didn´t have time to dwell as we were not allowed to be there ... and within 10 minutes we were kicked out due to closing time anyways ... so it was back to the hotel.

Watched a video - and then Lizzy had the best meal of her life - we got "dressed up"... and she ate (and drank!) everything ... there is a moral in there somewhere... it was perfect.

Inca Watch: We won´t have anyone telling us when we can and can´t go to our Royal Machu Picchu Retreat. So we didn´t and went in anyway... but then they closed it up so we will have to come back tomorrow.

Day 32 - February 1st 2008 - Cusco, Peru
Up early today (0545) to get up that Wayna Picchu mountain (the famous mountain which you see on the picture postcards of Machu Picchu). Again - vertical climb - and zero safety measures.

After half an hour/40 minutes climbing - you get to the most spectacular of vistas - looking back on Machu Picchu itself. There are Inca Terraces up there - and some ruins (all part of the Machu Picchu sanctuary) - but the height is incredible. Vertical drops of 1km plus - and no railings or preventative measures. 5-6 people die each year - and still they do nothing. How refreshing if you ask us. Get too close to the edge and fall off? Your own fault.

We chilled for an hour or more at the top of Wayna Picchu - and it was beautiful. After all the rain - there was blue sky (ish) and the sun was out ... after the event we were told that we had had incredible luck with the weather. Did the reading and then walked the walks - to the Inca drawbridge - an incredible contraption which the Incas used to access the sanctuary via the back door (one of several means of access to the site). This is closed to the public due to someone falling off and dying recently - can understand the logic - falling off the rickety bridge as a result of the rickety bridge is the sanctuary´s fault ... falling off a cliff is your own fault. Fact.

Bumped into Mirkhal ... who looked tired after her version of the Inca Trail. Nathan noted that he didn´t want to look that tired ... but probably did anyways.

After 5 hours of walking and touring we left - and went back to the lodge for lunch. This time we had to pay. So we had 1 course each and no wine.

And then we walked back ... and noted that you still sweat (lots) walking downhill.

Many of you will know Lizzy as a level headed, sound tactician and shrewd holder of the budget. As we arrived in Aguas Caliente (the town at the foot of Machu Picchu) we started to walk to our hotel. Lizzy said "I am not staying in this place if it´s a ****hole".

Needless to say - Luxury Betsy (a close relation to Country Suze) kicked in - and we ended up coming back to Cusco a day early (and incidentally - staying in a place bartered down from $120 to $50 for the night. Oh yes ... err... by Betsy)

And so the final thing to say about this journey was the rail journey itself. Earlier we mentioned the similarities between GNER (National Express) and PeruRail ... price wise.

We went home - back to Cusco on the Vistadome service - posher than the backpacker service because there were table cloths and you got a swig of Inca Cola .. and oh yes ... the roof had windows in it.

But incredibly - halfway through the journey (interrupting our game of Uno no less) - the train crew put on a fashion show of local clothes ... can you imagine? Between Leeds and Doncaster? A parade of flat caps ... or wellies?

No ... neither could we ....

Inca Watch: The British Incas went home on holiday today (Machu Picchu is thought to be a Royal Holiday Resort - a bit like Butlins crica 1500 ... but on top of a hill in Peru)

And so - as we write this on day 33 (and yes - we watched the rugby in an Irish Pub - the highest Irish Pub on God´s Earth) - this is our last full day in Peru ... it takes some time to reflect ...

I bet you can´t wait ...

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Photos

Quito by Dusk
.. Cafe Mosaico, Quito, Ecuador

Feeling Fit
... the climb to Cafe Mosaico didn´t bother Nathan one bit

Just like the new shower at Bell House ..
... is this what we asked for James? Cafe Cultura, Quito, Ecuador

Betsy with nothing on
... and some bubbles

More bubbles please darling ...
... who is it in there? The afternoon of arrival in Cusco, Del Prado Inn

The serious bit
... aftermath ... Del Prado Inn - Cusco

Breakfast was postponed
... and the residents weeped ...

The corridor
outside Room 403 - Del Prado Inn, Cusco

Who´s the pretty lad above the brush?
http://decisivomomento.blogspot.com/2008/01/un-globo-de-gas.html - the local rag

He asked nicely
... so Inca_Nath gave him a photo - 1 Neuvo Soles

You´ve only got 23kg?
Betsy find a serious competitor to her "who has got the biggest back pack?" crown

Cheers
... seriously ... life is tough (here in Ollaytantambo)

Sexy Woman
(Read the historical bit) - Cusco, Peru

Competitive Incas
... there is only ever going to be one winner (insert your own answer here)

Cusco City Centre
.. from Sacsayhuaman

Taking on some water
high above Cusco (at Sacsayhuaman)

Coming to a Bell House near you ...
... throw the disc into the frog´s mouth ... why didn´t we think of that?

Doggy at El Albergue
Nice doggys - without Rabies and stuff

This is more like it ...
... a room with a view - Machu Picchu Sanctuary Lodge

Betsy with her Sainsburys Carrier Bag
.. on Machu Picchu ... that´s right ... one of the new 7 Wonders of the World

Right out of the Primark Catalogue
... Inca_Nath is right at home on holiday - Machu Picchu

Inca_Nath would have found a better way
... to get to the Butlins of the day (Inca Drawbridge - Machu Picchu)

It was worth the climb
... at the top of Wayna Picchu (the Sanctuary Lodge hotel can be seen on the far left of this pic)

Come on Lizzy ...
... surely it´s not that bad? Don´t jump!!

The Fashion Show - PeruRail
... there´s always another career in there for you Max

Comments

[Mrs C]

World's away...
Makes Sunday morning garden bird watching sound very tame by comparison. What a journey! Keep the commentry coming, it's the nearest I'll ever get. Ah well, better scatter more seed and chatter away to the robin...

[Ems]

Phew!
I almost forgot there about the explosion incident with all your other adventures, but oh my god, that's not good! Pleased you survived, must be the inca survivor in you. I remember Los Perros too - happy times! Can't believe that you didn't do the trail but then again walking the hill from the train is a massive effort, I remember the bus journey down it! Well done for climbing the mountain - that's some view. I am very very jealous...I look forward to reading the next update tomorrow (can't really stay here till midnight). Take care xxx

[sara]

mas is never that...
fashionable Lizzie!