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Published: August 19th 2010
jueves, 10 de junio The Inca Trail. First day. Accept no imitators. Actually you can, at last check the Inca Trail has a four month waiting list. Your unborn child has more chance of a season ticket at Anfield. This is largely because of the wet season mudslides and collapse of one of the train lines (there's only two). Other jungle treks exist but we had the foresight to book in December (and pay out the ar*e for it). 35km in 3 days.
We awoke at 5.30 for about the billionth day running. The Norweigans don't have hangovers despite getting in at 2. W*nkers. We caught the bus to km82 to a sea of purple and red, like a Ribena factory; the porters packing and readying for half a weeks hard work. Cue panic about the 6kg bags we are allowed; the porters don't seem to bothered though - they won't miss the half a degree extra their spine curved this trip.
For the record Bjorn was the first to say "are we there yet?". I had thought it and stifled. The true skill of comedy. For posterity our group was as follows:
BJORN/CHRIS - the boozers from Norway.
Legends.
FRIEDA/ELLEN/LIV - also Norweigan. Is GAP big there?
AILSA - from England.
SANGITA/VIRENDRA - English too, on honeymoon. Here was us thinking they were supposed to be relaxing.
DAVE/JASMIN - from England and Germany respectively.
ERIC - the most unassuming Yankee Doodle ever.
CINDY/DOUG - Canadians eh.
No boozing, smoking, drugs or picking flowers on the Inca Trail.
The passport check was a b*tch of a wait, you could almost get in the queue and surpass the 4 month backlog. The first part of the walk was nice though, the sun beaming down and accentuating the snowcapped mountains around us. The train with the lazy and incapable chugged past with an unbelievable smugness; our ride home. Two stops at Q'anabamba and Q'entimarka stradled our first real climb which was a small shock to the systems of those at altitude for the first time.
Lunch was piranha (apparently) - my third new animal if true. Let's take it. The remainder of the days walking was fairly flat and uneventful as often it is on 3 and 4 day tours and ended up at the first campsite at around 4 in the afternoon. Our tents had been erected
and tea was a-brewing. This had been done by the porters who had raced ahead with 25kg each on their backs - basically with both our backpacks combined. All for minimum wage. We were introduced to them, taken aback by how truly humble they each were.
Dinner was amazing. Some motivational speeches for the hardest day tomorrow followed. Total walked today: 11km.
viernes, 11 de junio A difficult start to the day for me. Another 5.30 alarm followed by him walking in on one of the porters taking a dump. Not wanting to face the man I went to pee in a field instead, only for a donkey to throw a complete mental at me. Quick, flee. The omelette for breakfast restored some faith in mankind.
The first 45 minutes of walking today were in the finger-numbing cold since the sun sat behind the surrounding peaks. I got told off for messing around (giving a thankyou speech to everyone for coming if you believe it). Yes, I am 27. Never too old for a spanking. After less than an hour we split as a group because of the general disparity in walking pace. It didn't take long
for me to be alone - fortunately I love my own company. The first part of our ascent to Dead Woman's Pass was jungly; we're right on the Amazon. No monkeys or snakes to report.
Dead Woman's Pass is so named because the rocks are shaped like a dead woman. Most poignantly the boob. This was where the sun showed up and I melted. Just a puddle climbing stair after stair. The stairs themselves were like puddles with the hundreds of porters creating a steady flow with their foreheads. I latched on to 2 of the GAP porters and shared my Gatorade at a rest point. In Quechuan the equivalent of being adopted - from then on they waited as I rested, urging me on at 2 second intervals almost dragging me with an invisible rope of expectation. They even sat with me at the top. An impressive 2hr27 minutes.
I waited. Then waited. Then, is that Hayley's red bag I can see trudging up the hill? Wow! There's some gym-type guys in the group that she has outpaced. Nice one. Her shock was evident as I told her he had been waiting for 45 minutes. The rest
of the group came in dribs and drabs up to 2 hours later. Rivelino said his group record was 2hr10mins - sh*t! He was babbling about plants at the bottom could definitely have got close! The poor honeymooners really struggled up this bit...
...but not as much as the downhill. Remember blackboards? Remember the chalk dust coming off the erasers? That's your kneecaps doing this every day. Ain't nothing wrong with a little bump 'n' grind, but this is tough. Hayley again set a good pace, I relaxed this time and chatted to Bjorn about conscription. Like the Norweigan army even has guns.
We arrived at camp at a staggering 1.30pm with little to do to pass the time. The ground at this camp was much harder, this is why you should arrive on time for briefings to hire airbeds. The temperature was lower than a snake's income too; the tent would literally freeze overnight. I managed to get a photo with my new BFFs who don't even speak Spanish and looked scared of the electronic devil.
Tonights stories centred around customs; women not being ready for marriage until they are skilled in guinea pig slaughter and
Mingling with the porters
Catch me at the back. The common manother such nuances.
Two funny products:
FANNY - the jam we are eating. "Can you pass the Fanny?" and "I would like some Fanny" isn't getting boring.
PUCYURA - water. Swap the first 2 syllables with the last 2.
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