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Published: October 15th 2008
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15th Sept...
Bye Cusco!!! We head to the airport for our flight to Puerto Macdonaldo, where we will start our trek through the amazon! I'm at boiling point with GG (Group Geek) but put it down to Monday morning blues, wow it still happens overseas!! The hot air sweeps over us as we step off the plane ahhhhh its so good to feel sunrays again! A short bus ride takes us to our motorised canoe and we start the ride up the river that leads us into the amazon jungle. It feels great to speeding up the river, sunshine beating down and dense jungle either side of you. Birds fly out above the palms and my eyes spin around everywhere hoping to catch a glimpse of something in the trees, maybe a lost inca? 😊 After a few hours we reach our new home, Cayman Lodge, an eco friendly, 100 a day malboro reds, french lady run dorm style residence. We have our own room but its only split with partitions and has a mostquito net roof and walls. So basically you can hear GG poo, fart, smell and we are nowhere near that stage of familiarality with them yet. The
lodge has the cutest baby monkey which was abandoned by its mother. Yenna is only 3 months old and was found in some cut trees in the jungle. Although shes a 'spider' monkey, I still fall in love with her as does every person in the lodge and Yenna laps up the attention. Cant WAIT for tonights activities, a night hike through the jungle! What the fuck??? If you are having trouble understanding the sheer thought of that, it means, walking on foot, in pitch black, at night, through amazon jungle, with GG, no guns, no metal armour suits, and JAGUARS ARRRRGGHHHH!!! I'm all hot and stressed as we start the hike. OK OK OK breathe its OK, its a pretty frog ahhhh shine the torch on it, ahhhh lovely. Lets walk into the vegetation now and let the vines and billion insects all touch your face in the dark ARRRRGGGHHHH what the FUCK is that illuminous green flying thing??? Its ok its only a fire fly, put it on your neck and and it gives you an electric shock errrrr no thanks FUCK OFF! Of course super Will does it! Oh wow, look at that a WOLF SPIDER the
size of a football, oh wow look a CRAB SPIDER right back your face, oh wow look at how big this other WOLF SPIDER is AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! I hate it all and my skin is crawling, and I know I have spiders all over my back and I cant see a fucking thing! I lose complete supergirl powers and have to ask GG if I can join their group, but I'm even too pathetic for that and they say no I'm a wimp, and worse still Will still rules. DAAMMMMNNNIITTT!!! Sleeping that night is not good as I suffocate in the mozzie net I've wrapped around my body for safety.
16th Sept...
You cant buy the noises that we awoke to this morning, they were so 'real!' and overpowering. I'm not talking Jaguar roars or anything, just hundreds of birds and insects chattering to each other until....PPPAAARRRRPPPPPP from GG section of the dorm. We cold shower and head out for the day hike through the jungle, and a canoe up the river into cayman territory. Its hot and humid, and a million hungry mosquitos eye up my untouched thighs. I brave shorts anyway and lacquer up
on the repellent (Wills breath). We head out trhough the jungle and almost immediately spot a wild boar, its huge and the second it smells us (Will) he bolts straight towards us, but takes cover in the bush. 20 minutes later and we hear the same snorting snuffling sounds and then a crashing of twigs and bushes! The guide tells us the boar was in fact studying us for all that time, mental note: must remember whose home this actually is. The jungle is dense and really really hot, we are towered by 300yr old trees. All around insects, birds and who knows what squawk and talk to each other. The sunlight streaks through the vines and branches and feeds all who needs it. The smaller trees are ant attacked and we witness armies of them cutting away at the leaves before marching them back to their camp. There are streams of them and it really is extrodinary to see the floor moving with the endless missions. After some parrot and lizard spotting the hairs on my arms stand on end as we are faced with my biggest fear of all in my entire LIFE! A big great hairy mean
tarantula nest in the ground (its like a small friggen cave) with not one but two BIG FUCK OFF BLACK SPIKEY EVIL READY TO POUNCE AND BITE ME TARANTULAS!!!! I am frozen. With complete fear. I pray that mummy tarantula (as apparantly these huge demons are only babies) isnt dangling over my head so choose not to look at all. Keep your eyes shut supergirl and nothing is there. Will hands me the camera, look Chelle! I stare at the screen AAARRRRRRGGGHHHHH BIG FUCK OFF BLACK SPIKEY EVIL READY TO POUNCE AND BITE ME TARANTULAS!!!! I never touch the camera again from that point onwards. Crocodile Dundee puts his hand in the nest for a close up shot and words could never explain how terrifying the snap is, but judge for yourself I cant be the only wimp out there? We paddle in canoe through the lake and the pirranahs jump out of the water with glee at the prospect of food, as we bail the water thats rapidly seeping through the cracks in the canoe WTF!!!???
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