Designed for the tourists

When we finally got into the restaurant we were put at a long table with a bunch of other obnoxious tourists. Fortunately the cost of admission included unlimited free wine and ale. I started off with a glass of mead then proceeded to slake my thirst with glass after glass of room temperature ale. After my first refill our waitress made some sort of reference to how she was going to embarass me later and I immediately fathomed what was afoot. I hate audience participation and I usually find a way to stay off the stage, but not without a lot of anxiety leading up to it. Knowing my probably fate I decided to fortify myself with tankard after tankard of ale. I wouldn't have considered myself drunk but within the hour I was certainly mentally impaired. As the king sashayed into the room along with his entourage I was well-aware of how stupid and touristy this whole night was about to become.