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Published: August 9th 2007
Roadsign
Ever seen anything like this in England?!When it's winter and you're already wearing your thermals under your coat and gloves to protect you from the driving winds and freezing rain, it makes perfect sense to head closer to the Antarctic, right?
Picton So it was time to move on from North to South Island. The weather wasn't being our friend (howling gales and driving rain) which made the 3 hour ferry crossing from Wellington to Picton a little bit interesting (Cunninghams, remember the Calais hovercraft journey?!). Paul wasn't sick although he had to concentrate on the view out of the window - Imogen read her book for a bit and then fell asleep. What a traveller!
We arrived in Picton in enormous gales and holed up for a night at the campsite. Every so often a gust would rock Daphne waking us up - it really felt like the roof might be torn off!
Imogen earned the nickname 'Imogen McRae' (after Colin the rally driver) for her spectacular 150 km drive in high winds the following day. Daphne may be lithe and beautiful but in high winds she acts a bit like a sail.
Kaikora Next stop was Kaikora with the world's tiniest museum. But
that wasn't our main reason for visiting - this used to be a whaling station and now, rather than kill the whales they take tourists out to see them. Despite the 'seasickness warning' on the information screens we took to sea in 2m swells on the high speed catamaran and managed to see 3 sperm whales, a huge pod of dolphins (about 200 swimming right past us) and a few albatrosses (collective noun not known!).
Hamner Springs In the afternoon we moved on to Hamner Springs which is very like an alpine village surrounded by mountains. It is famous for its thermal spa although it we so cold we couldn't be bothered. By early evening the puddles were solid and that night the temperature
inside the van dropped to -4.3 degrees C! We vowed from then on that the heater would be left on all night...
After a visit to the bizarre maze/minigolf place in the morning, we headed on across the Lewis Pass to Greymouth on the West Coast. The scenery on the way was absolutely amazing - mountains meets plains meets rainforest meets coastal beaches all in the flash of an eye!
Greymouth Several people have
Monteiths Brewery tour, Greymouth
Paul waits expectantly for the tasting to begin... emailed us over the last couple of weeks asking how we're remaining on speaking terms stuck in such close proximity 24/7? The answer is simple - Monteith's beer. (Cue cheering from Michelle and Mr Brown!). Greymouth is home to the Monteith's brewery and who were we to turn down the offer of a tour!? We even befriended Dougal our tour guide who missed the first half of an All Blacks game to keep us behind for another half of Golden lager. If you get a chance, try the Monteiths Radler lager. It tastes a bit like a shandy with lemonade and lime in it, but incredibly this is all achieved using hops, meaning it is still 5%!l(MISSING)ager. Paul was suitably impressed, although it is still considered 'lolly water', the local description for alcopops. Greymouth also has a museum called 'Shanty Town' dedicated to the Gold Rush of the late 19th Century. We panned for gold and explored the preserved wild west town. Unfortunately Paul got caught short and had to use the traditional 'long drop'.
Franz Ferdinand/Josef So what next? A glacier of course! Another scenic drive to Franz Josef (Franz Ferdinand as we called it), which included
Franz Ferdinand glacier
Our guide, Whelk, cutting steps crossing a single-file road bridge which also carried trains. We'll try and post a video of it so you can understand what we mean. This place is mad!
Once there we did a bit of hiking round the bottom of it in the afternoon, but as you need a guide and climbing equipment we booked a guided trip for the following day. We duly turned up and put on boots and crampons (we know what they are now, big spiky shoe things for gripping ice). All the guides had hilarious names - we were led by Goose and Horse (not kidding!) and one guy who obviously hadn't earned his animal name yet - Sam. They used big axes to cut steps in the ice so we could climb up. A lot of geological learnings followed - if there's ever a Geology round in the pub quiz in the future, make sure you're sitting next to us! We ended up going out for a few drinks in the evening with some fellow Brits we met on the climb.
Wanaka Another scenic drive the next day over the stunning Haast Pass to Wanaka. It's quite a hairy drive on winding roads
Paul in an ice-cave
Franz Josef glacier up to 3,000 ft up (measurements courtesy of Paul's watch!) - although this was no trouble for Ms McRae who again dispensed them with ease. Interestingly the Kiwi's don't seem too keen on adding barriers to the sides of sharp bends.
In Wanaka we visited Puzzling World - one man's dedication to all things puzzle related. See the cRaZy photos of the various optical illusion rooms. There was also a surprisingly complicated maze which we eventually found our way out of. Imogen went to the toilet with some Romans. The following day we visited Wanaka Transport and Toy museum. This was Imogen's worst nightmare and Paul's wet dream.
We've been using The Lonely Planet Guide and it's very rare that a cinema gets a mention as a 'must see', but Wanaka has a special cinema called Cinema Paradiso (named after the film) - it shows current films as well as local arty productions. There are no normal cinema seats, instead the local second-hand furniture stores have been raided for comfy old sofas and armchairs. They've even bunged in an old split-screen Morris Minor and fitted it out with big seats. Who were we to turn down the opportunity to
Milford Sound
Have we numbed to this sort of scenery? watch Pirates of the Caribbean from inside a car in a cinema!?
Te Anau Pretty much everyone we've ever spoken to has told us that Milford Sound is a must-see. It looks on the map like it's about a 15 minute drive from Wanaka, but because of some pesky mountains you have to take a spectacular detour of about 300km. The tiny port at Milford has a very small camp site and, as it is so remote, they have to generate their own electricity so they switch off the power from 11pm until the morning. There was no way we were going to try another night in the van without the heater on, so this was not an option. Instead we stopped at the next town, Te Anau, just over 100km away. It is pleasant enough and we booked a coach to drive us to Milford Sound the following morning to meet up with the boat which would take us out through the Sound itself. Some of you are probably wondering what a 'sound' is. It's where a river has, over millions of years, cut its way through rock until it reaches the sea. It turns out that Milford
Oooh matron!
Puzzle World, Wanaka Sound is not actually a sound at all, as it was created by a glacier cutting its way out to sea and is really a fjord, but they don't want to change the name now. The drive down to Milford from Te Anau is great, including a 1.3Km tunnel blasted through solid granite.
But to be honest, we found the sound itself to be a bit dull. Maybe the constant eyegasmic scenery we've been exposed to whilst in the South Island has numbed us a bit, but we were expecting more than just nice blue water and tree lined cliffs. Or are we just hard to impress?
There was only one thing for it. We needed to knock some sense back into ourselves. We needed to head to the adrenaline centre of the world. We needed to go to QUEENSTOWN...
Queenstown The journey along the side of the lake from Te Anau to Queenstown is another winding one with lots of big drops. High winds and a bit of rain added some spice to the journey, but with McRae at the wheel the whole thing was dispensed with in less than 2 hours.
After looking at all the
Why am I sooooo big?!
At Puzzle World, Wanaka options (of which there are many), we built up some courage and booked ourselves onto the Shotover Jet boat and the Canyon Swing. There is also a gondola and luge similar to the one in Rotorua, so we had another go on that.
*** BOYS STUFF ALERT *** The Jetboat is simply ridiculous - it works on the same principle as a jetski, except that it has 16 seats and is piloted by an escapee from the local lunatic asylum. Its impellers are powered by TWO Holden V6's which have been supercharged for good measure (yes, Paul did ask the lunatic for a full mechanical breakdown). The sum total of all this is a boat which can reach 80km/h in as little as 4 inches of water as it passes down a very narrow canyon not more than a couple of feet from the rocks. Lunatic man also has a tendency to turn the boat through 360 degrees on the spot. It's very hard for you to appreciate what this is like. Paul has added a jetboat to his ever growing list of 'things I will one day own'.
In fairness though, the jetboat paled into insignificance compared with what
The Morris Minor at Cinema Paradiso
Yes we know it's dark - it was a cinema!! was to follow the next day. We're not saying we were scared, but for the whole of Tuesday we found ourselves sitting in silence staring into space and going a bit grey. And then Wednesday came, and it was time to meet the biggest swing in the world... the Canyon Swing.
Now might be a good idea for the parents to have a bit of cake and a cup of tea and stop reading.
In essence, there is a platform sticking off the side of the wall of a canyon. It's 109metres above the rocks/river in the bottom. That's a bit higher than the Statue Of Liberty. That's really really high. And what we did was fall off the platform attached to a big harness. You could choose your method of departure and each was given an underpant rating. Once falling, you get about 60metres of complete free-fall, before you realise you are still attached to something. This then gently redirects you away from the fast-approaching rocks into a 200metre arc. You then swing about for a while until the guys above winch you back up again. We've got videos and photos capturing what is for both of
us, the most terrifying and exhilarating thing we've ever done.
Click here to see Imogen's Canyon Swing Click here to see Paul's Canyon Swing And don't worry parents (if you're still reading), we're done with the falling off stuff now - we don't think there's much out there to top this!
Note to Simon - Paul did the Pin Drop and didn't let his hands go, although he screamed like a girl until his lungs hurt. And swore a lot.
The following evening we decided to explore Queenstown's nightlife. After a 'Ferg Burger' (the finest and largest burgers we'd ever seen), we visited the Minus 5 bar which is essentially a big freezer that serves vodka cocktails. You have to wear a special coat and gloves, your glass is made of ice (as is the bar) and you're only allowed in there for half an hour for safety reasons (and because by then your glass is melting). We went on to Winnie's pizza restaurant which suddenly becomes a nightclub complete with opening roof. It was here that we met Dave Grohl (see photo). As a result of this somewhat blurred and very late night, all plans to make a break for Dunedin the next day were scrapped in
Shotover Jet
Note Imogen smiling serenely while Paul bricks himself! favour of a day staying very still and quiet.
Dunedin Let's be honest, we can summarise Dunedin in a few words. We're sure it's a lovely place but we caught it during the worst rainstorms they'd seen for a year. And it was a Sunday. So to summarise - rain, scenic train, rain. The next day we escaped in search of higher ground!
Christchurch We're sure the rain from the UK hit the East Coast of New Zealand as we made our way up to Christchurch. Fortunately Daphne's relatively high suspension helped us cross the flood water across the highway. As we hit Christchurch, the sun suddenly pulled out his hat and normal service was restored!
Thank God it was a bit warmer up there because, with 1 night to go before Daphne was to be returned, our power lead had packed up and so we couldn't use the heater. We took a stroll around the city, which is wonderfully compact and great for exploring on foot, then spent a final evening with Daphne before taking her back the following morning.
With sadness in our hearts that Daphne was no longer around, we arrived at Imogen's cousin Rona's
house as she'd kindly offered to put us up for the last few days in NZ. As soon as we settled into proper comfy beds with heating and sofas, we realised what we'd missed out on for the last 5 weeks. A night at the Hilton could not have beaten the luxury of Chez Rona & Duncan (Rona's boyf)!
Rona even took the Friday off work so that we could go snowboarding up Mount Hutt. It was way gnarley dude, and we caught some rad air and stuff. Probably. It appears that the taller you are, the longer the snowboard needs to be (and the harder you fall!) - so Paul ended up with a skirting board under his arm! We took a lesson and fell over a lot. The main thing is we looked cool. We all celebrated with a pie before heading home to nurse bruises.
Duncan coaches the local rugby team and had an important semi-final on Saturday afternoon so we went along to cheer them on and they won, 45-3!! We're waiting expectantly to see whether High School Old Boys win the league this coming weekend.
All too soon it was Sunday and time to finally
say goodbye to New Zealand. We're definitely going to miss it, especially the scenery and the people. We're pretty sure we'll go back again for a holiday in the future, although we'll make sure it's summer next time!!
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Hellend
non-member comment
Err
...that really doesnt look like Dave Grohl! I want one of those burgers, can you bring one back for me please. Thanks in advance.