Pick me, pick me!!

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Going Home
Doug Taylor and Bec Fidler Blogger Bec

Finally, we are home and rested!
It was hard slog getting home but after a week in Melbourne, sorting out various bits and bobs, we have settled into life in Sale, with Doug's parents.

We spent Mother's Day on a gorgeous lake in East Gippsland, having a picnic and soaking up the (not hot) sunshine. Truly divine - I bloody love Australia!!!

Today starts the odyssey of job hunting. Let me give you some background...

Last Monday, dishelleved yet full of hope, and bravely fending off the jet lag, I called the Victorian Institute of Teaching to see how my application was progressing.
suprise of all suprises, there was a problem.
"You'll need to get a police check from China".

HOLD THE PHONE - WHAT THE?!

All of you who either live in China or have dealt with Chinese "red tape" in any shape or form will truly understand what a feat that will be.

OK, deep breaths, let's call the Chinese consulate and find out how to go about this.

"Yes, we can issue you a police check. If you are in Suzhou."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Straight onto the email to Kate, our HR and politics guru at EtonHouse.

Call the VIT back - no, absolutely no way around this, I must get the police check.
Doug however can teach once he coughs up a wad of cash and then waits a week to get processed. OK, we can do that.

Meanwhile, as long as I complete a brand new application with VIT, I may, repeat, MAY get processed sometime in the next month.

With the spectre of a moneyless two months ahead, I clench my teeth, shelve the pride and call Centrelink (welfare agency). Surely they can find me a job.

"Yessss, of COURSE we will give you money . In fact, we can back pay you from today! But first, you need to:
prove you have no money by showing balances of your entire financial history
give us a copy of your China contract
fill out forms M,S, P and Z (seriously)
go for a Job Network interview
bring in 4 forms of ID"

But I just want a job, just an interview, not a welfare payment.

"MMM, yes, but really it is best to sign up for Newstart (welfare) just in case, don't you think?"

No, not really. I'm damn employable. i have skills. Please, just find me a job. Now. Today. I'll do anything, please!!

"Mmmm, yes, but really it is best to sign up for Newstart just in case, don't you think?"

FINE!! I'll sign up for your damn welfare.

So, off I trot to an interview at the employment agency branch of Centrelink.

I arrive, 10 minutes early, freshly attired and quoiffed, resume in hand, along with various identity proving bits of paper, ready to see my "employment manager" and expecting to walk outta there with some interview times.

As the minutes slowly tick away, 12 other people come in for a "10:30 with Kylie".

I approach the receptionist: "how many Kylie's do you have?"

"Just one, you're all here for a group interview." Shark smile that doesn't reach her eyes.

What followed was a 20 minute form filling out mission around a table full of people in tracksuits who haven't washed. (Yes, I am a snob)
I raced up to Kylie when I was done, all smiles, convinced that surely my job search would start now.

"Oh you're done already. Right. Thanks for those." She turns her back.

I stand, smile frozen on my face, waiting for my interview that will surely come with the person who will see my sparkling resume and willingness to work and offer me 10 jobs on the spot.

"Oh you're still here. Can I help you with anything?"

Arhhh, yes, a job interview?

"No, we'll call you when there is an interview available."

OK, so you will do the hard work and let me know when you have jobs suitable for me?

"No, we'll call you when we think you are a suitable candidate for us to find you a job."

WHAT THE?!?!?!

Unable to actually believe this system exists in the real world, I leave.

They still haven't called me.

I'm off to Centrelink today to file for Newstart.

Then I am canvassing local businesses to see if anyone could use my skills. One way or another, I WILL EARN SOME MONEY!!

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