Head 'em On, Move 'em Up RAWHIDE

---

Hello all and greetings from Simmo's Tour of BEWDY!! Back by popular demand after a lengthy 6 week hiatus. There is so much to fill you all in on over that time so I might write a couple of entries over the next few days. Of course, I might get inspired and write one lengthy entry right now - let's just see how it all pans out!

After leaving the gorgeous Sydney rain clouds behind I ventured north-west to Tamworth - self appointed Home of Australian Country Music - on the 16th of June. I gave myself 4 days between arriving in Tamworth and starting the much anticipated Jackaroo school and in hindsight, maybe 1 or two days would have been enough. Why? Well, you see, I have to be very careful how I word this as one thing I have noticed on my two visits to Tamworth (See "Simmo's Tour of BEWDY!!" January 1996 edition) is that the locals are very VERY proud of the "Capital of Big Sky Country" that is their beloved town. With all due respect to said locals, Tamworth is an okay town, and I believe that crime isn't a big problem and there are schools and relevent amenities in the surrounding areas, but really the place ain't that special. It was difficult to find stimulating activities in which to partake while filling in the hours in Tamworth. Fortunately for me I met a Dutchman by the name of Jacko who was fantastic company for me (although poor company for my liver and wallet). In the lead up to Jackaroo school Jacko and I spent 3 or 4 quality nights on the Tamworth circuit.

The only low-light came at about 1am on the Sunday morning at the Imperial Hotel when a very sheepish Jacko approached me with his tail between his legs on his way back from the bar. I didn't know what was up, but i knew it was something, and I knew it was bad. Jacko wandered over and stood next to me, eyes focused on the floor as if he was too embarrassed to look at me. With out saying a word, he nudged me hopefully in the ribs and offered a drink. I looked at the drink. I looked at Jacko. I looked at the drink. I looked back to Jacko and said, "is that a blue cruiser jacko?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
It turned out that Jacko had in fact ordered a blue curacao and coke but since the Imperial hotel in Tamworth had a sweet deal going with the "Employment Agency for the Hearing Impaired" he ended up with the wrong drinks and hadn't the heart to tell. We drank our blue cruisers pretty quick - Tamworth isn't the type of town where two blokes wanna get seen together drinking cruisers. Unfortunately we had great trouble disguising our small indescretion as our tongues stayed blue for the next 24 hours. But it was only a small blemish on what were otherwise 4 cracking evenings (/nights/mornings). More Jacko another time.

Now I know that a lot of you out there in cyberspace are keen to hear about the Jackaroo School experience. In a nutshell, Jackaroo school was a week of horse riding, sheep shearing, mustering, calf wrestling, and kleptomaniac pathological lying cowboys who may or may not have been rodeo riders from the NT.

The Day 2 sheep muster is definately worth a mention, not so much for the muster itself but rather for the zany antics of a cow named Pumpkin. Those who have worked with sheep in the past will now that they can be a pain in the arse to muster. The brains are the size of small peanuts and, when you cover all flanks and point them in the direction of an open gate they seem to have all sorts of trouble working out where to go. We rookie cowboys and cowgirls had managed to get them all the way to the paddock in which the pen was set up where we needed to herd them into. All was hunky dory until a young cow that was for some reason grazing in the paddock took exception to her wooly visitors. Pumpkin charged the mob and sent them in all directions - they busted through fences, scattered past horses and spread themselves all over the place. After about 10 minutes and at least one more charge from Pumpkin we managed to get the sheep into the pen, but not before time.

The highlight of the school for me was definately the cattle muster and calf wrestling. The muster involved a 3 hour ride acrosss the property where we picked up 70-80 head of cattle and mustered them back about 3 paddocks to the yards. I felt very "Rawhide" riding behind the mob cracking my whip and giving it my best "head 'em up, move 'em on!" Okay, it wasn't quite like that, but the spirit was there.

After the cattle muster, we paired up and got to take on some of the young calves. Me and me good mate Wacko Jacko paired up and got assigned to quite a hefty heifer. The aim of the game was for one of you to grab the tail, one to grab the left ear and the nose, pull the head back to the left shoulder, reach over, flip the calf on it's side then pin it's legs in a kinda figure 4 Hulk Hogan Vs. The Undertaker circa 1993 hold. Easy right...?

I put my hand up for the back half (a-la compulsive spoiler Matty Graham in year 8) and grabbed hold of the tail. All of a sudden the thing took off. With the Benny Hill theme playing deep inside my head i was taken on lap after lap of the yards - at times digging my heals into the ground "water skiing", at times running after it, desperately trying to stay on my feet, at times on my stomach in a way reminiscent of Marty McFly when he's lassooed by Mad Dog Tannen in BTTF 3, getting dragged under the mob of cattle and trampled as I went. Buggered if I was letting go though! Eventually my man Jack got a good grip on the ears and we managed to flip her up and pin her. Bloody good work out though - of course, it wasn't as fun for the calf. Jacko and i got to have another crack later on when we were asked to catch another calf for tagging and branding. I took the head this time and pinned it while it was ear tagged, ear marked and branded. I ended up with blood all down the leg of my pants which gave me a real authentic country look - all in a day's work you see!

one thing that was a bit out of the box on the camp was that a channel 10 film crew were making a documentary about the school. We were followed around by the crew all week and at times asked to have interviews with the gorgeous gorgeous Jess (curly blonde hair. oh God, I love curly blonde hair!!!) of Totally Wild fame. Unfortunately my interviews were pretty ordinary on account of the fact that I go to water any time a camera is put in my face. With a bit of luck they might manage to edit a clip or two of me in there though. The doco is meant to be screened some time in October - Stay tuned to Simmo's Tour of BEWDY!! for further updates.

After arriving back in Tamworth on the Friday night everyone for the camp had a big night at the Central Hotel. This was a bit of an experience for me as it was the first time I've heard country music on the circuit "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" by Big&Rich was the first I think, followed by a bit of Gretchen Wilson "Redneck Woman".

The next few days I speant in Tamworth trying to find work but having to no avail despite the best efforts of a friend of Neil Wrigg's, Tony Pearson. For a guy i've never met before, Tony couldn't have been more helpful as he got in touch with just about everyone he knew to see if they new of any available work. I witnessed the bush telegraph working overtime as we went from one place to the next asking about work, and they called people, and those people called people. Eventually I decided to cut my losses and head on to the Gold Coast. Tony even managed to give me a number of a fella to call up here. Quality bloke.

Anyway, here I am now on the Gold Coast where I am working another stinking job (see previous blog entry) but still having some fun in between. I'll update you all on the situation over the weekend.

I hope all are well and having fun. Please stay in touch so I know how you're all doing. And by the way, pictures from Jackaroo school to come ASAP.

Hooroo from the Guru,

Simmo.

---

Photos

Outback Jack
Jacko and I take 5 on the final day of camp. The film crew can be seen in the background.

Momento of the trip
Master horseman Tim brands one of the Punters' hats as a lasting momento of his time at Leckonfield

Comments

[Duckman]

jack of all trades
Hi Big Fella! All sounds great! You're keeping busy, having a go at all types of activities which sound fantastic! Glad to hear the most important of all - drinking and circuiting are still occuring too! Never got your last blog about the flyering, so have now caught up on both episodes - very interesting and amusing! Will take into account flyer receiving tips and begin to implement them! Jo says hi, talk soon and keep punching! Ducky

[Tiffa]

Hey simmo!! just been catching up on ur travels. sounds like a lot of bollocks to me haha nah kidding hope you're having an absolute ball and keep up the stories. miss ya!

[loges]

Rawhide
More like MoreHide since you turned up. boom ching. Im here all week, try the veal