Great Travel Deals, Free Internet, Death From Boredom

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I am now officially scraping the bottom of the barrel. Handing out flyers, (or 'flyering' as we in the industry call it) is not the most inspiring work. When you add to that the fact that I'm being paid $10 an hour for my troubles, and add to that the fact that the $10 I speak of is not real money per se but rather travel dollars that can be redeemed at Peterpan travel agencies for tours, accomodation etc. you could well ask what I was thinking when I accepted this less than lucrative assignment - God knows I have been asking myself the same question.

Probably the worst part of handing out Peterpan flyers offering "great travel deals and free internet" is the gun/militia shop next door. Well, not so much the shop, more the people who give you a filthy look when offered a flyer and then walk straight into this shop which proudly claims to offer "guns, bayonets, helmets, uniforms and (my personal favourite) law enforcement equipment" (call me crazy, but when were weird lookin' misfits with camoflague pants and eye patches given the task of "enforcing the law"). My first thought is always, "mate, if you don't want the flyer that's cool, I didn't mean anything by it." Thank God for the genius who whacked the '30 day cooling off period' clause in Australia's gun laws.

The shop has, I must say, given me some entertainment. My favourite way to pass the time whilst flyering is by playing a new game I call, "Spot the Kooky Nutball Whose Gonna Walk Into The Gun Shop". The game is quite self explanatory. Basically, as people approach me I try to work out whether or not they're a kooky nutball who is going to walk into the gun shop. I have become quite the genius at this game. Anyone thinking of trying this at home, here are a few helpful hints for spotting likely gun shop customers to get you started. The following are all indicators of your gun shop types:

• Cargo pants
  
• Full leather clothing ensembles
  
• German military jackets
  
• Skinheads and rat-tails (particularly on females)
  
• Nervous twitches
  
• Violin cases
  

Another not so enjoyable part of working in the flyering industry is the fact that your average punter in the street treats flyerers as sub-human. By way of trying to make the world a better place for flyerers, I've thought of a few "Guidelines for Dealing With Flyer Dudes" that I expect you all to follow in the future.

• Some kind of acknowledgement of the flyer dude's existence is always a good start
  
• Even if you don't want a flyer, it's nice to smile and say "no thanks"
  
• Taking a flyer and holding on to it until you get around the corner is nice for the flyer dude and doesn't put you out too much
  
• Smiling at the flyer dude will make him feel warm and fuzzy inside
  
• Don't get offended if you don't get offered a flyer, it probably means that you're not in the demographic or the flyer dude can't be stuffed any more. Get over it.
  
• If you really want to make the flyer dude's day, just appear genuinely appreciative of him taking the time to give you a flyer
  
• Finally, ladies, even if you're hot, you are not too good to acknowledge the flyer dude.
  

I hope that you can all practice the above guidelines and make the world a better place for we poor and desperate travelling flyer dudes.

So maybe I'm making myself sound a little hard done by. I was only flyering for 3 days, but it was 3 LONG days. I earned probably enough for 8 or 9 nights accomodation which I figure is better than spending those 3 days sipping coffee at Starbucks and reading the paper.

In case you're interested, the long weekend holds in store a day at the Darling Harbour Jazz Festival (incl. James Morrison with the gorgeous Emma Pask), a day at the zoo and if time permits a day at the beer festival. Thursday I hit the road again to Tamworth for all the bootscootin', country music and jackarooing I can poke a stick at. I can't wait to be back on the road but I'm not looking forward to being christened Scott Nofriends again. Hopefully it won't be for long.

Anyway, keep in touch, keep smiling and I'll fill you all in from Tamworth.


Remember the aeroguard, and 'ave a good weekend.

Simmo.

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Comments

[Watto]

Gun Flyers
I suppose the only thing that can top that is getting a job pulling people into club x's and peep shows? or is that next week? I would assume the pay and the perks are better.......