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Published: August 27th 2009
August 27th 2009 Dorothy (of The Wizard of Oz fame) once said - well, actually she said it many times - 'there's no place like home'. It was a sentiment at the front of my mind whilst sitting in my lovely hotel room in Amarillo, TX about two weeks ago now. Whilst this trip has been amazing, fascinating, eye-opening, sometimes I would just like to go home. You ever had that feeling?
Turns out someone was reading my mind. And so sent me to Oklahoma and Arkansas. My aunt (the one who described Barstow, CA, as the armpit of the world) mentioned Oklahoma and Arkansas being 'dustbowls'. Not exactly an endearing term and one that made me less than excited about the trek. As it turns out, she was completely wrong. Okay, maybe some parts of the states are dusty, but the bits I saw - about 20 miles either side of the I-40 - were beautiful. Just like driving the M40 through Oxfordshire, Bucks and down the A404 to my house. I wouldn't have been surprised to come across my house a couple times. Okay, I lie, I would have really shocked if signs for junction 9B on the A404 (I think that's my junction) had appeared. I probably would have crashed the car. In fact, I almost did. A couple of times when I came round a corner to find Jesus on the side of the freeway. Huge - ginormous - billboards with Jesus' face on them. Seriously scary. And a reminder that I was entering the bible belt of America. But we'll come back to that later.
So I'm driving through England. Telling everyone I meet that their state looks like England. Weirdly the people I told seemed quite chuffed that their homeland was reminiscent of their fairer cousin across the pond. The attendant at one gas station in Shawnee, Oklahoma, was very excited to meet someone from England. She looked at me, eyes squinting together like she was trying to work something out. She eventually points at me and says, 'England? You sound like you're from Brighton, right?'. Er, no. But I guess it's not far away. She was demonstrably disappointed that I live just outside London, and not in one of our famous coastal towns. But this brief exchange left me quite perplexed: is there a Brighton accent? And is it distinguishable from other southern English accents? I've been a few times but not noticed any difference? Unlike going to Newcastle. They speak strange up there. I'm joking, I'm joking.... Anyway, if you can shed some light on the matter, please feel free to share.
Shawnee is a surprisingly pretty town. Being on the side of a freeway the town boasts an overwhelming selection of fastfood restaurants. Rather than leave Betty Boy alone in the heat, I decided to have lunch at Sonic, a drive-in. Oh yes, who cares about drive-thrus when you can fill your tummy at a drive-IN!!! It was all very exciting and the food was actually quite good. Back towards the freeway I stopped in at the McDonalds drive-thru to grab some coffee and a bottle of water. I got to the microphone and said, 'Could I get a regular iced latte and a bottle of water, please?'. There was silence at the other end. Silence. Then a little crackle and the voice comes over the airwaves 'You want what?!'. It continues:
Me: 'A regular iced latte...'
Voice: 'A regular iced latte, okay...'
Me: 'And a bottle of water.'
Voice: 'What? What do you want?'
Me: 'A bottle of water...'
More silence. As more cars pull up behind me, I start to wonder, did I order in German? Russian? Do people in Oklahoma miraculously survive without water? It then occurs to me that the voice doesn't understand my perfect English un-Brighton-esque) diction. Taking a deep breath, I tried again:
Me: 'Can I get a bodul uv wahduh?'
Voice: 'Ooooh, you want wahduh. You want like a cup or a bodul?'
Me: 'A bodul, please. A bodul uv wahduh.'
It was the best tasting wahdah ever.
Back on the freeway I see my new friend, the Wienermobile, for the fifth time since leaving Amarillo. I experience a momentary twinge of guilt for wishing I hadn't bought Betty Boy but instead chosen to drive across America in a large hotdog on wheels. It would have been very amusing, and I would have made a lot of friends. The Wiener accompanied me all the way across Texas and Oklahoma but I bid him (or maybe her?) farewell at Little Rock, Arkansas.
I never intended to spend the night in Little Rock. My plan had been to get just over the Oklahoma/Arkansas state line and stay in Fort Smith. But getting there I had a surge of energy (maybe from the wahduh?) and figured I might as well continue on. The lesson of that day was that it is sometimes best to stick to your original plans. I stopped at a gas station just inside Arkansas and, knowing storms had been forecast the day before, asked someone for a more recent update. Storms were still forecast. Bad storms. I think to myself, how bad can they get? It's not like I'm driving through tornado alley, now is it? In case you didn't hear the sarcasm in my voice just then, I was in fact in the middle of tornado country. The sky was graying over a little, but I decided I would just keep going until the weather got too bad.
I put Betty Boy into drive and headed off towards the storm clouds. After a while it started raining. The sun disappeared and at 4.30pm day became night. It started raining a little harder. And a little harder. Windscreen wipers going as fast as they can, I still couldn't see out the windscreen. After 20 minutes of driving at about 20mph, all the cars on the freeway pulled onto the hard shoulder and stopped. The trucks, the big 300ft trucks carrying all kinds of dangerous cargo, figured it was safe for them to keep going at 70mph. I do love the responsible truck drivers this country has to offer. The minutes went by, the trucks sped by, and I wondered to myself, 'Why didn't I get off at the last exit?' But where's the adventure in sitting in a nice, warm, dry hotel room when you could be plonked on the side of the freeway contemplating which of the oncoming trucks is going to skid and send you crashing down the embankment? These are the moments of sheer terror we all live for, right? Or is it just me?
The rainclouds continued on their journey, leaving a trail of accidents in their wake. I was beginning to relax, the worst was over. And it was. The rain had indeed stopped but the clouds were still swirling up in the sky. Clouds going round and round and round up above my head. Like the beginnings of a tornado maybe? I wasn't about to risk getting caught in a tornado. Been there, done that. So I put my foot down and Betty Boy got me the heck out of there. Just an hour later, with the gas tank virtually empty, I pulled into Little Rock, Arkansas. By the way, in case you didn't already know, Arkansas is actually pronounced Arkansaw. With the accent on the 'Ar'. In fact, I pulled into North Little Rock as I needed to find a gas station. I wouldn't suggest going there. It felt a little scary. I got my gas and kept driving. Things got a little scarier before I spotted a bridge going across the river towards downtown and spied a huge sign (although not as big as the Jesus billboards) for a Holiday Inn. I had found my home for the night.
After 10 hours and 700 miles of driving, dinner and a large glass of wine was calling. As were some Belgian airmen who were staying at the hotel. I stuck with the food and wine whilst proofreading my dissertation before collapsing into bed. Without any airmen, I hasten to add.....
I can honestly say I wish I had planned more time to spend in Oklahoma and Arkansas. They seem like nice, interesting places to visit. But, as Barbara Streisand wisely once sung, 'the more I travel, the more I realise I have to go'. You just can't know everything in advance, and next time, well, I'll know to plan in more time for this part of the country. But this time I was eager to get to Memphis and my godparents. That's where I wanted to be. And had I not written so much about one day, August 17th 2009, I would have told you all about my visit with them in this blog. As it is, you'll just have to wait to hear about the wiggly one and the garbage baby.....
No photos - I was driving. And you all know what England looks like already!
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Auntie Theresa
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OK weather
Not just the wind came sweeping down the plain - but the rain came with it, too! Must have been just a touch scary. Good that the tornado didn't form, at least whilst you were in the vacinity. Nice to hear that you were able to drive through pretty countryside. Judging from the few pictures I've seen of OK it seems to be a green and gentle state. I'm sure the dust bowl exists somewhere but not, obviously, where you were. Do I take it that your visit with Don and Bobby is over and done with? Hope you had a good time with them - lots of fun and laughter, I'm sure.