Published: August 6th 2012July 17th 2012
Tuesday 17th of July My back felt like it was broken, dew to lying on the floor and all over Michael's suitcase. My eyes dry and struggling to open dew to my dehydration. My head was throbbing to the extent I thought it would split open. Nearly all the boys awoke absolutely hanging from the previous nights escapades. Joe's birthday was a definite success. We had awoken with two beautiful girls lying in our room. Unfortunately as Micheal I'm sure explained they hadn't gone with Joe like planned. But it turned out it was probably good that they didn't one of the girls managed to fill our ice bucket full of sick during the night. We spent most of the morning talking to the girls, some of the conversation was good, but generally American girls have a tendency to be annoying and squeaky. I don't think it's their fault its just our humour is different. After awhile it was time to politely tell the girls to leave. Karl took the honour by saying how long is it till you go. He was very hungover and their chipmunk like personalities were grating on him. Eventually they got the hint and went. The
rest of our morning would be spent as usual chilling out in our amazing hotel pool area. I'm not one to pip my own trumpet especially when I'm in the room with my best friend but my tan is amazing. I'm very proud. Halfway through the day I was starting to become more worried about Michael. I think the idea of cigars on Joe's birthday night was probably a bad idea. As he had been complaining about his throat since we've been in Key west almost a month ago and it was giving in hell that day. Enough was enough I wanted my friend back without him it just wasn't the same. Also I wanted to him and myself to really enjoy California and it wouldn't be the same if he was ill. So we both got on the Wi-Fi and looked for the closest pharmacies and doctors. Turns out that the CVS next-door actually had a walk-in centre it was perfect. I walked with him their, he booked his appointment. I said while he is in there I'm going to go look around the shops. I hadn't done a lot windowshopping since been here and all the shops nearby looked amazing. I accidentally spent a good 3 to 4 hours going around all the shops. All ended up buying was one T-shirt, but it was fun. I know all the other guys don't enjoy doing this so I really did appreciated the little bit of me time to do something I enjoy. when I got back I spoke to Michael, turns out he had tonsillitis.I mean it barely eaten last five days. I know I jest him about being chubby and he jokes back but he had gone down to 11 stone! The doctor weighed him while he was in there. Just to see the doctor cost Michael $130 an amount that would make the baby Jesus cry. The American health system is screwed up and after the doctor told him the only medicine that would get him better he had to pay that as well. Obviously he did so and it wasn't regrettable because it would make him better but it just wasn't expected. This night would not be as big a night as before because obviously we were all still feeling a little bit grotty. So we decided to start it with a meal hooters to be exact. Somewhere I've never been before. All the guys were talking about all the way was how beautiful the waitresses were and how massive their hooters are. But not at one moment along the way did anybody tell me what food is good there. So I just assumed it was normal restaurant where the girls have massive hooters. We all went in and made our orders. Unfortunately when our meals came out I had apparently made a cardinal sin. Worse than shooting Bambi, worse than farting in a lift going up the Empire State, worse than walking into a synagogue wearing Nazi uniform. I had ordered a chicken caesar salad in hooters. Shock horror! I was asked to leave the table and remove my testicles. This seemed stupid I really wanted to Caesar salad. But apparently if you go to hooters you're only meant to order wings and if you order wings they have to be the hottest wings in the restaurant. Just to prove a falsified macho manliness to the others. I decided not to let it bother me they were being ridiculous. On the way out of bought T-shirt is to say I'd been. We all went back to the hotel thoroughly stuffed like fat Christmas turkeys. We got changed and headed out for another night on the town. As usual we started with a few pre-drinks our own hotel. When we walked outside Michael decided that he had to get something to soothe his throat. He bought a bottle of numbing throat spray. He turned to me and said I will only have this if you try it first. So I took it and sprayed it down the back of my throat. While it was in there Michael was reading the instructions. Just as I swallowed it Michael read the instruction do not swallow spit it out! Of course this left everyone in hysterics as I was leaning over bush spluttering. Fortunately it did no damage and it had no side effects. Afterwards we went around the casinos played a few different hands of blackjack and craps. I didn't win or lose any money, the time I had been in Vegas was catching up on me, especially after Joseph's birthday. We all didn't stay out long that night and not a lot of drinking was to be done. So we all went home in dribs and drabs and countered our winnings or mourned losses.