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Published: July 11th 2007
So, it's a Tuesday. I worked landscaping (shoveling in the hot sun) and then bartended/managed (where I did absolutely nothing). After work Brion and I rolled out for an hour of drinking between midnight and last call at the Land Ho. I was wearing my "I
cougars" tshirt and got a ton of comments on it. Lately, any weeknight I go to the Land Ho wearing my products, I seem to make sales. Well, anyway, there is a built-in danger when you wear a tshirt that says you love Cougars. That is, sometimes you run into an actual cougar. This particular one was trying to catch my eye, but i was doing my best to ignore her. (p.s. as I'm currently writing this, Brion is drunk, talking to Mike G. in Lousiville, KY. Mike is drinking vodka and Juicy-juice, and we are all having a childish laugh about how the state abbreviation for Kentucky is: K-Y. As in: "K-Y til the day I die!!!"). Back to my story.
So, if you buy one of my Cougar tees, you must of course be prepared to have your own run-ins with actual cougars. This dude liked my shirt, so I went up the road to my apartment and grabbed my box-o-tshirts. I returned to the Land Ho after last call and found the guy in the parking lot, sold him one for $15, and was ready to go on my way. EXCEPT, the cougar grabbed me. She claimed that we knew each other, and said she wanted one of my shirts. I led her to the other side of my truck and started looking for a medium cougar shirt. As I was doing so, her hands were all over my back , neck and arms. She told me I was cute, kissed my neck and felt up my ass. She said she was from Florida, and offered to give me her number. I faked hearing impairment. She kept grabbing my ass. Brion was laughing at me from the front seat, texting me "Game Over!!".
Not much else to report on your average Tuesday, except some broad that Brion scored a number from called him from the late-night Chinese food place. He said he was going to bed, and informed me he was "saving her for February."
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Mike G
non-member comment
I was so friggen drunk when I was on the phone with Brion. I was hoping that you had it on speaker phone and were transcribing it to the internet. I was saying that we were only gonna bang chicks in the Taliban in 2012.