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Published: December 11th 2006
So as you know, I am home now. It is far weirder than I expected. I had just thought to have a wonderful year seeing the world, and then come home, get a job, a car, a place to live, and settle down essentially. I realized long ago that travel is more of an addiction that an interest, but I thought that I would be able to take this trip and be relatively satisfied. Not so. The addiction is strong. There is always so much more to see, so much more you're interested in doing. I thought things would become clearer for me while I was away, that I would perhaps figure out what I would like to be when I grow up (which would be now). Didn't happen.
So what will she do now, you ask?
Well, I am officially out of money and living at home again, along with both of my sisters and my nephew. It is close quarters, but nothing compared to the living conditions I have seen this year, I can assure you. I will be here until just after Christmas, spending time with my family and just generally getting used to be back in the country, which takes more effort than I thought it would, believe me. In the new year, I will spend about six weeks on the west coast of Florida with my grandmother while my aunt is away. I think this will be good for both of us - we will have time to catch up and it will also give me time to look for and apply to jobs. It is also a beautiful beach with the softest whitest powdery sands I have ever seen, as well as amazing sunsets, and that never hurt anyone either.
The idea of getting a job is difficult, because I think I would struggle with the idea of a monotonous routine right now, and the concept of two weeks off a year is hard to get over. Keep in mind that most countries in Western Europe have 4-6 weeks of vacation every year, plus national holidays. Now that makes more sense to me. You can have a job and a life. I haven't figured out exactly what I want to do yet, but I am considering a teaching career, either here or abroad. I am also exploring other options that would allow me to work and travel, so I can have a bit of both. It's finding the right combination that would be difficult.
How has life been since I've been back?
I have spent time organizing things in a crowded house, doing household chores, cleaning out the fridge, etc. I have reestablished my television addiction, though it is mostly under control. I am not interested in watching any new programs, just movies and reruns of my favorite show (Charmed). Unfortunately, it now comes on four times a day (4 hours!) instead of just twice. I have also remembered how to make brownies, which is both good and bad. Now I will have to remember how to exercise as well. I have started blow drying my hair again. I forgot just how much I love my hair straight. It just wasn't possible traveling. But I also forgot how much I hate spending time actually blow drying my hair. When did it stop being naturally straight anyway? The things we do for vanity.
I've been to three different malls now, just to see what most people are doing, wearing, buying, wanting. Turns out we have nothing in common - me and the rest of the people in the mall. After traveling with so little this year - one backpack and a daypack - it was strange to come home and see all the things I had left behind just at my parent's house, let alone to think of all the things that my good friend Aine and her husband Paul are storing for me in their basement in Boston while I am away. It was fun to see these things again, but it was also strange. What did I need these things for anyway? I had two pairs of pants to wear while I was traveling (usually just wore one) and a couple shirts to change between. I didn't love my clothes, but I never felt the need to be chic or cool. I was going to get dirty and that was that, so the clothes were perfect.
Now that I am home I find myself struggling with the part of me that wants to buy something just because it would be fun to own it, and the equally persuasive part of me that just longs to get out of such a materialistic world. I need new clothes - my old clothes aren't right anymore - but I just can't spend time in the mall, looking through racks of clothes. I find myself only looking at pajamas and underwear, things that actually seem both useful and fun.
I feel like I don't fit in here like I used to, a feeling that is new after this trip. I never experienced reverse culture shock before, but here are. I don't fit in at home, and I never really felt like I would fit in living in the countries I traveled to either. I do fit in with other travelers, while traveling, but I don't want to spend my life being a transient. So what to do?
I have gone to the library and checked out several guide books to Florida to see what there is to do here. I grew up here but haven't spent much time here in over 10 years, and this was a good way to combine home and travel. Quite helpful actually. I have found some great options, most of them nature preserves that are cheap or free. Will spend more time exploring them on the days I can finagle a car from someone. In my next blog (you can't expect me to give it up entirely, can you?) I'll tell you about some of them.
For now, I just want to say thank you. It has been an amazing year. I am so happy that I was able to follow through and take this trip, something I had been wanting to do for years. It was not always easy, but I was always glad I was doing it. I want to thank my family for being so supportive of my decision, especially my mom, who was horrified but not surprised when I told her of my plan. She always asked if I was ready to come home yet, but whenever I felt down and thought of coming home she would encourage me to stay and give it another try. Such a good mom. She also printed off and sent my blogs to my grandma to read, as did my aunt Sue for my other grandma. They both keep a folder of these blogs and it made me so happy to know that they could follow along and be there with me throughout the world, even if only from home. I think my second biggest supporter would have to be Lynn. She is always so encouraging, not to mention helpful, supportive, and an amazing woman all-around. She always had comments about the blogs and even more, she told me about her life at home, down to the simplest details. As you travel, you want to keep in touch with people at home and know what they are up to as well, but most people (understandly) just say everything is the same as usual. But Lynn always wrote hilarious emails about her daily life and I felt a little more connected because of it.
I have many other friends from home who sent me emails and did things that made me further realize how incredible they are and how lucky I am. Aine is keeping all my things in Boston so I didn't have to look into paying for storage, and Michele sends me job postings and tries to encourage me to move near her, even going so far as letting me live in her house and borrow her car if I want to while I am job searching. Jen offered her house an an option as well - and I did borrow her car for almost three months last year. Too many amazing people to list here, but this year I have had a lot of time to realize how lucky I am in my experiences and my relationships.
I met so many amazing people this year, people I would never have had the chance to meet otherwise. I made friends from countries all over the world, friends I hope to keep in contact with and see again at some point. I traveled alone on this trip, yet I was never lonely. Everywhere I went I met someone I could travel with or someone to help me work out a problem or just someone to chat with, be it for five minutes or five weeks. It started in January, when I began this trip with my good friend Mike. Soon after he left I had two hardships to deal with in my personal life, and there was always someone there to talk to when I needed it. So many people were there for me when I needed a friend that I can't even begin to list all their names here, but they have all been mentioned as I went. I do want to again thank Kindie and Guillaume, who helped me get to a hospital from Nowheresville, Nepal when I desperately needed to, and Christoph and Susanne, for coming out of their way to be with me in Nepal for my surgery. Each of them happened to be there in a crisis time and handled in beautifully, helped me immensely, and would all say it was nothing. Nothing, indeed. My mom still sings your praises.
Although I have finished this trip, I intend to continue traveling. It's always different, but always an amazing experience. It's such a good way to learn about the rest of the world, and about life. I think it is easy to forget what life is like for the rest of the world, especially for Americans who are geographically so distant from much of the world. I just learned that only 23% of Americans have passports (everyone has been asking me what the percentage is and there you go), and this is understandable since most people only have two weeks off a year. Where can you go in such a short time? But my advice to you is to get one immediately. Start planning an adventure and then take the opportunity when it comes. There is so much to see, to do, to learn. So get on it slackers - it's time to get out there and explore. If not, at least travel with me again through the blog sometime. And thanks for coming along for the ride!
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steve shipley
non-member comment
fantastic journey
hi jen steve here from guilin china, we met on train from moscow to beijing, i have followed your blogs throught the journey since i reached guilin. i am glad your back home safe. what an epic adventure you have had i have enjoyed reading it, although it made me slightly jealous, (hehehe) not to have done as many countries as you have. (25 - 6 no contest) dont forget when then travel bug hits again to stop in at guilin this time and we can catch up. take care and keep in touch best wishes and kindest regards steve