Epilogue

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As you know from reading the first two lines of this blog, our trip was on Betty’s Bucket List. Our oncologist suggested we make the trip and start Betty’s second bout of chemotherapy treatment when we returned. We completed our trip October 1, 2008 and Betty had her first treatment October 7th. Betty never had another chemotherapy treatment, as the ugly unpredictable growth of Cancer created problems that lead to 3 hospitalizations and 2 radiation treatments (10 session each) to shrink pain causing tumors.

Betty died December 29,2008 at home surrounded by her family. The months of October and November were filled with bouts of intense pain that was finally under control in December and she came home. There was little or no holiday cheer or festivities as the pain medication dulled her senses and her spirit. However she was pain-free and comfortable in her surroundings.

My advice to anyone contemplating a vacation or a trip with a terminally ill family member, take those precious moments to enjoy each day, each others company, and your relationship - fill it with touching, hugging, kissing and telling each other how much you love. In essence the trip becomes your metaphor for the upcoming struggles that to have a beginning, middle, and end.

We had a Memorial Service for Betty last Saturday January 10, 2009. It was a time for the family and friends of Betty to say goodbye. It was a marvelous night as we celebrated her life and the unique person she was. It will not be forgotten by the over seventy people in attendance. I was able to present a few of the memories that reflect the authenticity of Betty and her life. I am including below my final goodbye to Betty.

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What I remember most was the many summers we would be bumping down the highways of the Western US and Canada. I will never forget the sparkle in her eyes and the amazement in her voice as we came upon new discoveries of nature and humankind. The opera in Santa Fe was a special place for us, however most often our music was that of John Denver, Neil Diamond and Simon & Garfunkel. One of her favorites was Bridge over troubled Water and when you listen to the lyrics you can tell they came out of Betty’s soul

When youre weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
Im on your side. when times get rough
And friends just cant be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

When youre down and out,
When youre on the street,
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.
Ill take your part.
When darkness comes
And pains is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

Betty was my partner, my teacher, and the love of my life. I miss her so, but she is not gone. I still talk to her as she is with me as I move from room to room, place to place, and task to task. I still print articles and make notes on the news of the day for our daily briefing. This is the way it must be as she is embedded in my heart and my soul.

Betty
I touched you
I felt you
I enveloped you.
You buoyed my spirit
You excited my mind
You expanded my soul.
So little - yet so much.
You know not,
How strong you made me

Goodbye Betty
You were never just a little ole okie girl

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In this last entry to our blog, I want to thank all of those who came along with us on Betty’s Farewell Trip.

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