Bad Hair Day in Calgary

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Well, I did think before we left Australian shores, that our holiday wasn't going to be all beer and skittles. However I didn't think that our campervan would possibly feature in the World's Worst Driving T.V. show, or should that be called: Most Embarassing Driving Moment!!

I'll now jump back a few days and resume from where we were staying in Jaspar. No peeking further down the page. Keep reading from here, otherwise you will be cursed (I've picked up a few things from the Natives!).
Certainly the drive to Lake Margine from Jasper which also included Medicine Lake was spectacular. Fortunately the weather picked up and we got stunning views of huge grey slabs of rock along the highway. I just had to sit down alone on the grass overlooking Medicine Lake, mesmerised by the mountains. It was as if someone with a huge chisel and hammer cleaved rock away to leave the perfectly, angular remains. The Native tribe believed lake Medicine to be cursed as the lake mysteriously empties over summer, but with no rivers exiting it. Of course we now know that underground rivers have carved themselves thru the limestone, emptying into the Athabrasca River in the valley below.
The physical forces involved in the mountain formation are beyond my comprehension. It was a stunningly spiritual moment for me. Puts all the petty politics of the world into perspective. One giant, sick joke!
Anyway that's enough of my poor, philosophical prattle, lets move on. Jaspar as a town didn't do much for me. Just like other tourist towns, such as Strahan in Tassie, its just there to milk the tourist. Hey, that's us!! MICHELLE B: in reply to your question about how we get cheap internet access, we didn't in Jaspar! Get this; we paid $24 for 1.5 hrs access! Definitely take a small laptop with you when you next go overseas. The convenience and savings is significant. We have smartened up and get free access at the libraries where we find them.

The drive from Jaspar to Lake Louise was enjoyable (about 230km, good road and lightly travelled), and a more scenic drive in the world could not be envisaged. Unfortunately for us there was a lot of low lying cloud which obscured mountain tops, but every now and again it would lift allowing the sun to peak thru, setting the stage for us to be stunned. Though this particular drive had plenty of pull-overs for photo opportunities and the like, I have observed overall that there simply is not enough places to stop and view on their scenic roads. We found it very irritating at times and also very surprised when you consider how popular RV's are here in North America. On the other hand when you see the engineering challenges of building roads in some most inhospitable terrain, maybe we are being a touch unfair.
A touch unfair he is, especially as I am doing all the driving and all of a sudden there is a desperate cry - pull over! - as if the car has malfunctioned or a crash is immenent. Lake Louise was a bit of a let down, firstly the water was frozen over (a bit hard to appreciate the glacial hues and reflections), secondly the 30 story hotel was a horrible eyesore, completely incompatible with the surroundings and World Heritage Status. Burn it down, thats what I say. We wouldn't do anything like that at Lake St.Clair, would we?? We safely navigated our way through the rockies and past Banff toward Calgary. We couldn't find the RV park at Banff so we continued on to a satellite town near Calg. called Cochrane. It's popln about 15,000. The RV park there is brand new and indeed still under construction. We settled in for a couple of nights. The managers were very helpful, even if we did get them out of bed at 11pm. The next day we checked out the town and did the laundry before heading off to Calgary to try to find a replacement gadget for the one I had broken a few days earlier. We Navigated our way into the city and found the appropriate gadget shop. Unfortunately they did not have the necessary gadget within our replacement budget. We left empty handed. We still had time however to walk the streets and take in the sites of Calgary. We headed to the museum/old Fort for a dash of history. It was intersting but not riveting. Fortunately it was free. We then decided we would return to Cochrane and have dinner there. Navigation back out of Calgary proved to be more challenging than the entry. So we took a few wrong turns, pulled over and consulted the maps again. With our path firmly set we made our way toward the bridge. There were to options, go over or go under. We we in the 'under' lane and made the turn on the bridge. The most horriffic noise eminanted from somewhere near the car. I stopped we both got out and were quickly informed by a helpful bystander that we can't go that way. 'Why not?" I enquired, all the other cars are turning here. The problem of course was the HEIGHT of the vehicle. The camper van is about 3.5m tall. The posted sign visible as you approach the turn is 3.6m clearance. I would think that 3.5 is less than 3.6 and we should therefore fit. (The 3.5m height of our van is overgenerous and the exact height is 3.35m). Unfortunately for us there was a trap. As you make the LH turn onto centre st bridge the clearance IMMEDIATLEY CHANGES from 3.6 to 2.7. Yes 2.7!!!! So we hit the bloody thing. I said, "What the @#$% was that" and lept out to see if I had killed anyone. The only thing injured was my pride. It was peak hour traffic, 5:15 pm in Calgary, every idiot on the road in a hurry to get home. I had to get Craig to stop traffic while I backed out and turned in 3000 points and manouverd the van to the other side of the road where we could park and inspect the damage. At first glance it looked like a minor scratch and a couple of plastic sunrooves. At second glace the scratch look a little bigger and we thought a tarp necessary incase it rained. On attaching the tarp back at Cochrane, the full extent of the damage became apparent. The crack is about 15cm, the sunrooves completely tornoff and the yellow paint from the barrier I hit extends the full length of the camper roof. Oh shit!
Worst was yet to come. The next day I had to drive back to Calgary. We had to stop at the Mounties (police station) and report the accident. Only there did I find my first cruel hearted Canadians- two young constables who thought it was bloody hilarious. We made the report and took copies of the necessary paper work with us. I then had to drive right across town for the repairs shop. Thankfully they were much more sympathetic. Apparently this rental company has at least one RV per week run into the same bridge. You would think by now the signs would have been changed so that it doesn't happen. I think it's insurance fraud - the city council must get something out of it, other than a laugh! Just the week before a worker managed to lodge a crane under the same bridge. He closed the road for 6 hours while the engineers inspected the damage. So I take some comfort in knowing I am not the only fool to have done this, but the dent in my credit card will remind me for some time of what a costly mistake it was.
The repair man at FraserWay was really nice and helpful, and his initial appraisal for the damage wasn't as bad as feared (hopefully nothing changes when we get back to Vancouver!) Within half an hour of dropping the van off, he inspected and replaced the skylights and placed epoxy resin on the crack. We were on our way after another hour!! So bravely Moira drove us down south towards Smashed-in-Head Buffalo Jump, a couple of hours away. Moira had to contend with 60-70 knot cross-winds and the van was swaying everywhere. Of course this wasn't stopping big SUV's carrying a monster campervan-trailer AS WELL AS another trailer carrying 2 ATV' overtaking us at over 110km/hr. INSANE.
I thought I had nerves of steel, but 7 lanes of speeding morons attacking me from both sides is enough to bring anyone undone. After a Vodka or two, I found enough courage to continue the journey (the next day, sober of course!).
Finally, we got to the ancient buffalo slaughter site near Fort McLeod, and it was certainly worth the trip. Unlike Lake Louise, the 3 level building containing all the artifacts and history displays was ingeniously built into the hill and was hardly noticeable. Moira was very nervous when we finally got up to the top of the cliffs where the local tribes attempted (sometimes very successfully) to drive herds to their deaths, over the cliff. She thought she was going to make a human sacrifice or something. I must defend myself at this point. I know many of my family would not have even climbed out there on a still day, but with the afore mentioned winds gathering speed and a pathetic single hand rail to hold onto, I wasn't taking any chances of having my head smashed in!! I clung to the rail like I was still driving in traffic - my knuckles are still aching.
We have had enough of the Albertan Cowboys displaying their antics on the roads, and have aborted attempts to go to Edmonton and Drumheller (dinosaur fame). While we were in the Calgary area for 3 days, 11 people were killed in traffic accidents in the CITY limits alone. They simply drive too fast, cars much bigger than necessary and with complete disregard for other road users. We were lucky to come out alive. This doesn't include the bus crash north of Edmonton. Late at night a bus driver held up by an accident became impatient and tried to turn the bus around on a two lane hwy. SHE got stuck half way, had the bus idle across both the lanes when a fully laden truck and it's semi trailer ploughed into the stationary bus. The four men at the rear of the bus trying to push it off the road were killed and the other 25 on it were injured. Oh bloodyhell, what a mess. Thankfully we were no where near it and will be on our way to Toronto soon enough (although I hear the roads are bigger there and the drivers just as impatient!!!!)
Another night in Cochrane followed by a return to the Rockies. Some more fishing, cycling, relaxing and VODKA please.
Will keep you posted, no more accidents touch wood!!

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