Desert Sh*t Storm

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The lovely weather we've been enjoying lately is the perfect enticement for every feckless numpty with a 4X4 in Dubai to head out for a Desert "Safari". They've all bought the same "UAE Off Road" guide book which they display promenently on their dashboard and all have failed to read any of the sound advice printed therein.

As we pulled onto the Camel Farm Track at Al Awir a few lone desert adventurers, one with said book in hand, came over and asked why we were letting our tyres down, how far it was to the Camel Farm and best of all "Will I get stuck"?

There were even a few families in regular non-off road cars letting air out of their tyres obviously thinking that using an actual off road vehicle was a frivoulous luxury. I will not pass any comment on the possible nationanilty of these optimistic adventurers, but I noted one Toyota Corolla with six adults and three chilren in it, as well as a boot full of picnic equipment.

We had just all made it down over the Saddle when Gerry gets out of his car and tells us a Shamal (Sand Storm) is on it's way and we should head back towards the old quarry track. We all look around and see nothing but blue sky.

"How can you tell Gerry? Can you sense a change in the air pressure or humidity?"

"No," he replies, "Jenny just phoned me, its hit Jumeirah and is heading inland."

Off we trot, and about a half a mile before the track Gerry starts veering off towards a white Hummer H2 stuck pretty badly side on to a slope, several people are waving their arms over their heads at us. By the time I get there, he's already got a plan, explained what the driver should do once he has linked the cars up, he then gets out his recovery equipment.

Before I go on, I would like to point out that although the had asked us for help, had no recovery equipment - well, they had a strop but no means of fixing it to a vehicle - and obviously had no idea how close they were to rolling their vehicle, they became extremely surly whenever we were giving them any instructions like "turn the wheel to the right". In fact, when they weren't ignoring Gerry's instructions, they were actively doing the opposite, putting themselves and us in danger. At first, I thought they were just being stupid, but when I had to intervene with my car into the recovery, it all became clear - they were French.

Anyway, eventually we got the ungratefull Gallic bastards out and headed off toot sweet as they say in gay Paree.

Next thing it's like a scene from "The Mummy", or "Lawrence of Arabia", or any other film where one side of the sky goes black and you look up to a wall of sand. Fortunately, we were on the track when the sand and rain hit us, but we'd have had to stop as soon as our washer bottles ran dry, the sand in the rain made a sorty of paste that made the wiper blades glide over the window, smearing the windscreen.

I know its a bit of a novelty to get rain out here, and sand storms are not uncommon at this time of the year, but this was, much like hearing that Sherren has got a full time job, genuinely shocking and surprising.

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Comments

[Mumin]

Desert Sh*t Storm
The AA should make you their honorary Special Desert Rescue Manager. Glad you don't go into the desert armed with just a sandwich and flipflops.