Advertisement
Kicking in Doors
I wish this was a picture of me, but it's not. It's SSG Amsden, but he didn't budge this metal door. I said, "Let me give it a shot," and kicked it right open. I also kicked open the metal door next to it that was pad locked. I love kicking in doors. It's my favorite! Boys never do grow out of that destructive phase. Sorry I'm a little late posting this. I'll post the blog for June in a couple days as soon as I get it written, so stay tuned. There's some big news in that one.
R&R Leave Rapidly Approaching I was scheduled to go on R&R in May, but I gave up my slot to another soldier who really needed to go home in May. My new leave slot is 15 days during the the first few weeks of June. This, more than anything else, has really dominated my thoughts during this month. I haven't seen Laura or the girls in eight months and can't wait for R&R. I can taste it. Along with that comes the normal short-timer's anxieties. How horrible it would be to get wounded (or worse) right before I go on holiday. Laura and I don't have any big plans for leave. I just want to see my family and rest.
A Grim Reality Sets In Perhaps we were just very blessed during the first six months of this deployment. Perhaps the insurgents are redoubling their efforts in our area. Perhaps we've just hit an unlucky patch. Those are questions that, as we say in
the Army, are above my pay grade. I do now that the losses are starting to hurt more. They're closer to home. It seems that they're more frequent, but I only know my little piece of the puzzle. For me though, the war has become more painful, more personal, and more frightening.
Each new death or major injury is a stinging insult hurled by hateful, evil men who don't posses one tenth of the honor of then men they hurt. I take these insults more and more personally. I temper this personal fire with professional discipline and pray for the opportunity to unleash lawful, righteous violence on these evil men. Indeed, this war has become more personal.
I used to feel as though I would never get hurt - not any more. It's strange, though. I never worry about the danger when I'm outside the wire patrolling or raiding a house. It's in the quiet time, in my can (my room), when the fear comes. I'm not afraid of dieing because Jesus has guaranteed my salvation, but I fear for my wife and daughters. For myself, the greatest fear lies in returning from the war broken and not
whole - crippled. I don't look down on people who have be crippled by war, accident, or birth; but I fear that I would look down on myself. I don't know if I could handle it. Indeed, this war has become more frightening.
Fontanilla You come to know and like (or dislike) other soldiers in a variety of ways. I recently got assigned a detail to improve the defenses of the FOB. That day we were stringing out C-Wire (coiled barbed wire that is razor sharp). It is very unpleasant and difficult work, and I was the NCO in charge. I had several soldiers from various units on our FOB that were working for me, most of which I had never met before. One soldier from Easy (E) Company really impressed me right away, and I put him in charge of some of the other soldiers. His name was PFC Fontanilla, and from that day on we were always friendly when we bumped into one another on the FOB. He was a hard worker and a smart kid. I'm sure he would have become a great NCO one day. Today he's dead - killed by an IED placed by
a hateful, confused coward.
Army Pfc. Victor M. Fontanilla Collins I kept hearing about this Collins kid. He was the best friend of one of my soldiers, Julio. They always hung out, but we never met. Julio kept telling me what a good guy and a good friend he was. Finally, we bumped into each other in Julio's can one day; and we had a really funny conversation. I joked about how I pictured him as a country boy since I knew a real funny redneck named Collins in basic training. Boy, was my mental image wrong! We had a good laugh about it. Two days later, he was dead. This death hit so close to home because it was so hard on Julio. He was a real trooper though and was ready to go out on a very important mission a couple days later.
My platoon had to do the investigation into his death. Investigations are completely routine and occur any time there is a major incident or death, but it was surreal to be standing where his killer laid in wait - to inspect the blood stained earth. There were signs of a great struggle as members of his squad
wrestled him out of his armor and fought valiantly against his many wounds. Ultimately, they lost that fight; but Collins died bravely. After being shot multiple times, he killed one insurgent and caused the other to flee. Probably most heroic of all, Collins was supposed to be on leave in Texas at the time he was killed. He volunteered to swap leave dates with another soldier who had a newborn son. He lived selflessly and died bravely.
Army Cpl. Ryan D. Collins Split Second Decisions One of the most negative things that happened to me this month is something that I can't really describe detail. I can say this. I was placed in a very dangerous situation by some local nationals that were being defiant and negligent rather than malicious. I had to make a split second decision to preserve the safety of myself and one of my soldiers. I made the right choice, but innocent people still got hurt. I hate having to choose between bad and worse. My actions were investigated and confirmed to be correct. I was even complimented for handling a very tough situation as well as I did. The reaction of the local populace was even positive. But
in the end, it really sucks. I had to hurt a couple of people for the safety of many others. I'll be glad when I'm home for good.
Burnout We've always been busy; but generally speaking, we've always had enough downtime to recharge our batteries. Recently our unit took over some guard duties from another company on our FOB that needed some help. That, in addition to other commitments, has really pushed us to 110%!c(MISSING)apacity. Of course, if it was fun they wouldn't call it war, right? Then again, if it was fun, the Army would find some way to ruin it :-D. The good thing about the extra work is that it really make the time fly by.
"Any Soldier" AnySoldier.com is a website that connects people who want to support the troops with the addresses of troops who have agreed to distribute the mail that they receive to the other soldiers in their unit. I signed up for my platoon; and every time we get mail, there is at least a letter or a package for me to share with the guys. Recently, we must have had a mail "traffic jam" because we didn't get
Goofing Off During a Patrol
What the heck is a fake sailboat doing in the middle of the desert? You got me. mail for a while, but when it came through; wow, what a waterfall! I came in after a long mission to find half of my tiny room covered in mail. It took a while to get it all passed out, but it was definitely fun work. It was like Christmas for all the guys. I can't emphasize how much we appreciate anysoldier.com and, more importantly, the people who support us through that web site. Because we are on such a small FOB, we don't have a PX like most other FOBs; so we rely on the generosity of these people (in addition to our friends and family) for the things we can't buy here or order online - especially food. So if there are any of you reading this, THANK YOU and GOD BLESS YOU.
My Knee I must say that I really appreciate the kind words I have received from many of you regarding my injured knee. It seemed to be getting better last month. It still bothered me most of the time this month, but that didn't stopped me from going out and doing all the same stuff I've always done. I don't even think about my
knee on missions. Usually, I walk point (the very front guy) for our platoon; and my knee never slows me down. I even kicked in several doors (some of them metal) with that leg this month. The doctor even examined my knee several times, and said that it is very stable. The problem isn't instability; it is unpredictability. 99% of the time my knee is 99% good; but three times times recently, it locked up and I was suddenly limping. Twice it happened on missions. The most recent time was right at the end of the month, and luckily I was on guard duty back at the FOB because I couldn't walk after that one for three days. Obviously, this could have been catastrophic if it had occurred at an inopportune moment outside the wire. Since I have leave coming up in June, the doc gave me a referral to get it checked out at the orthopedic clinic on Fort Richardson.
I'm really tired of dealing with this nagging injury, and I can't allow it to endanger my fellow soldiers. At the same time, I can stand the thought of getting benched for the remainder of this deployment. I
didn't join the Army to drive a desk while my buddies have to pick up my slack. I just hope the doctors back at Ft. Rich figure this thing out, get me fixed, and get me back out there doing my job.
Jill and Whit visit Alaska One of Laura's friends from college, Jill, and her husband, Whit, came up to Anchorage foa conference and had some free time to spend visiting the Laura and the girls. Laura said they all had a great time.
"Pack Your Bags - NOW!" May finished with a bang. I limped back in from guard duty, and my platoon sergeant said that I had to go to a meeting about R&R right now. At that meeting, they said, " Pack your bags. You're leaving for R&R tonight." I packed everything as fast as I could (and forgot all kinds of things), and I tide up as many loose ends as I could (and left several untied). We caught a helicopter to Baghdad and found out that we were early and wouldn't get a flight out for 5 days. Typical Army bureaucracy, but I'm just thrilled to be on my way. It's also
nice to be on a FOB that has a PX even if I am living in a tent. ALASKA HERE I COME!!!
Advertisement
Tot: 0.307s; Tpl: 0.013s; cc: 12; qc: 61; dbt: 0.0736s; 1; m:domysql w:travelblog (10.17.0.13); sld: 1;
; mem: 1.2mb
Cathy AnySoldier.com
non-member comment
Hang in there, soldier
Dear Tony, this is one of your supporters from AnySoldiers.com..Cathy Rice. I read your new blog entry. I am glad you were able to 'talk about' your new feelings and fears. In facing your feelings, your fears will be controlled . AnySoldier.com LOVES YOU...we love you UNCONDITIONALLY..whether or not you are strong or scared. and if you are wounded just remember all the love everyone has is there for you. Do not worry of that. We will love you , however you are. however you come home..and so will your family! YOur special being is within your spirit, not your physical body. The person you are will never be changed, by broken bones or damaged body. Our hearts and thoughts are only of good things about you. Just as you think the best of your fallen co-workers, you are only thought of that way. Just remember our respect for you, is always the same. Keep your chin up, and let those missions stay in your thought along with how much everyone supports YOU. cathy rice