Mirror mirror on the floor, how do I know what I'm looking for....?

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Thanks for all the support in my hour of dark-heartedness, guys. I know I'm waxing pathetic at times. But I really do appreciate kind words from people who (I'm learning more and more with every entry) know me best.

It's hard to admit the mirror that's been put up in front of me...it's harder still to admit that there are aspects of myself that I thought had been banished years ago and they're still there front and center. I want to smash the mirror, send the splinters flying in hopes of shattering what I'm seeing.

You'd think with all this time away from home, with new perspective it'd be ideal for all that "personal growth" stuff, eh? Truth is, it's hard when you don't really have a routine that involves the same bed for more than 2 nights. I know I'm probably personally growing right now, ever since Mark left....like a Miracle-Gro for the soul. I just really wish I'd have been perceptive enough when he was here to do it then. It does go both ways for us as well, but that's not the most comforting thought at the moment.

We were both pretty quiet to and at the airport yesterday...I felt like I was about 6 years old. Essentially, everything's ok between us, we still want to be together, I think it's just that I (and perhaps he) definetly fell from grace during the 2 weeks we had. You know what I mean? You're not knocked off that pedestal the other person has you on, but they begin to see that it's maybe not as high or as sound as they once thought. Perhaps it's essential, for if you never appear human, how can you really get through life with someone? Illusions of gods and goddesses are all fine and well (and I'm by no means defending myself here), but I don't think they have any longevity.

On another note, Canada lost 40-0 to Scotland here in rugby yesterday. Dear god. I got a text from my friend Leanne in Glasgow and it consisted manily of "LOL's" and something about Canada using Scotland as a starting point in how to learn the game! Humiliating. ....and it snowed last night. Nothing like the pictures my mum has sent me of the delivery that they got this week, but it was cool to look out the window and see those huge fluffy Christmas-snowflakes.

I met a girl from Saskatchewan yesterday (she recognized my Scotiabank card), and had a good talk which was nice. Hilarious, actually. She mentioned that although she'd lived in Japan for 3 years, moving here 2 years ago was harder and incurred more culture shock. I thought that was interesting.

I'm going to infuse myself with coffee, hopefully do some cleaning to maintain free accommodation and hang out with a friend of mine later. But I'm craving a quiet place, some time to put pen to paper, send a letter home, and re-assess where I am and where I want to be at the moment.

I should be able to put pictures up from the last couple of weeks sometime in the near future, can't wait to go through the Skye ones.

Thanks again guys, it's nice to see encouraging words from home.

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