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Published: September 11th 2007
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(To see the new website for Stylecrete go to
www.stylecretecumbria.com)
As my Dad will vouch I barely know which end of a shovel to hold. Well that was until I started working for a concreting company. Now I know which end to hold, how to saw wood, wheel wheelbarrows, float concrete, pull my pants down so you can see the top of my crack and various other trade secrets.
Anyway I thought I’d give you some background on the company and what we do. Firstly there are four of us:
- Jock who started the company 17 odd years ago and is supposed to be retired now that he is 66 but probably works harder than any of us.
- Andy who is Jock’s son and has now taken over the company. He has said that I have to mention he is a good boss. So I guess that counts.
- Steve aka Steve Reeves, or according to Andy “ginger twat” is the apprentice and gets constant abuse for the colour of his hair. I have visions of him one day snapping after taking too much abuse from Andy and running all over our wet concrete. Luckily he has
a good sense of humour.
- Me, the muscles of the operation.
Right here’s the process we go through:
1. People hear that we are the best in the business and ask for a price.
2. Jock goes out to their place and gives them a quote.
3. They trust him (probably because he looks like father Christmas) and decide to hire us.
4. We arrive at their house and dig out concrete/tarmac/soil/garden/roots or anything else in the way using sledge hammers, jack hammers, picks, shovels and massive guns (or biceps to the lay person).
5. We get offered cups of tea or coffee about 10 times a day. When I tell them I don’t drink hot drinks I get looked at like I am a criminal. I am thinking about just asking for tea and tipping it out just to avoid the stares.
6. We go hard core putting down hard core (small rocks) which the concrete will be laid on.
7. We screed the hard core flat and then compact it down with a compactor.
8. Form work is put in. This is either planks of wood or bendable plastic which form the edges of where we
concrete up to.
9. We are now ready to concrete so have to wait for a sunny day. Sometimes few and far between.
10. When we have a sunny day, we load up the ute with all the gear and head off to our destination (sometimes as far as Whitehaven which takes about an hour and a half to get to. It would be longer if Andy didn’t drive like he was in a rally car race. Whenever Steve or I try and sleep in the car he goes that little bit faster over the bumps making sure we smack our heads).
11. The concrete truck arrives and Steve and I wheel it in.
12. Russ or Gaz who drive the concrete trucks leave but before doing so say “don’t you work too hard now”. I think it’s a secret code for the stonecutters or some other secret sect.
13. Andy and Jock flatten the concrete out with rakes and shovels.
14. Andy uses the electric screed to level the concrete (or cusses at the electric screed for not working, blames jock, and does it by hand).
15. We run a roller over the concrete and then float it (basically
we get it smooth).
16. We use edgers to, wait for it… smooth the edges.
17. We put colour on which is a powder that gets sieved on.
18. Andy tells us off for putting too much colour on (he buys it all off Jock).
19. Jock congratulates us and tells us to use more next time.
20. We hand float the concrete again to mix the colour in.
21. We then wait until the concrete is firm, usually having lunch at this stage and cleaning off the tools.
22. We spread release (a coloured dust) which stops the mats from sticking and gives the concrete two tones.
23. We stand on large mats which have patterns on the underside to imprint patterns into the concrete.
24. It is about this stage that we find out people want a circle pattern in the middle of their concrete.
25. Andy cusses and complains he hates doing circles.
26. Jock claims “The whole world is a circle”.
27. Andy puts in a circle under duress.
28. Steve makes a joke about it raining (the concrete is ruined if it rains).
29. Andy comes up with a comment about the colour of Steve’s
hair.
30. We use little rollers, lining tools and hand mats to make sure the pattern is complete.
31. We pack up and leave for the day, telling people (and their dogs) to keep off it for a few days. Sadly some people don’t listen, we have had a courier walk onto the front steps of a job and 3 stupid dogs run riot on another.
32. We return on another day to wash all the release dust and crap off (that’s a technical term).
33. We return later on when the concrete is dry and use an acrylic sealer to make it all shiny.
34. Andy says “Fig jam”
35. I say “What?”
36. Andy says “FIG JAM: F*ck I’m Good Just Ask Me”
37. Jock calls us all raw prawns and we start a new job.
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san
non-member comment
how do i get your fone number
i would like a quote for a double drive please. WE CANT FIND YOUR NUMBER IN THE PHONE BOOK. TA