Serbia

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After our nighttrain in a very quaint harry potter train, which involved a lot of head outside the window action, we arrived in serbia where we were immediately greeted by bombed buildings and harriets lost phone turmoil. We decided to do absolutely fuck all and have an extreme lie in to help recover (after harriet tramped around for a while trying to cancel her phone in a place where public phones do not exist). We discovered the wonders of adventure time on a really extreme cartoon channel.

Once we had sorted our lives out we decided that it would be an excellent idea to go bungee jumping as its so fucking cheap here. We attempted to get there in a tram, but somehow ended up in some eastern european shrubbery under a gigantic half built motorway that was thriving with hobo activity. We also spent a very unsafe amount of time walking up tram lines to get back to the road. It was supposed to take us about 10 minutes to get there, but we impressively took about 2 hours. Then we got on some random bus which happened to actually take us there. Then we found the river island thing that we were looking for and headed towards the terrifying bungee crane whilst feasting on these watermelon lollies which are the most refreshing substances in the world. After our drunk jump instructor calmed our nerves, we went against all human instincts and chucked ourselves off an unsafe platform in the sky. It was both terrifying, sexy and amazing. Our drunk instructor was pretty amazing, he had an extremely strong hatred towards most human beings except for the english though most of his hatred was concentrated towards the french.

Filled with adrenaline and urine, we headed back to our apartment (our very nice apartment, but with some kind of korean dictatorship in place) to get drunk. We played kings with the strong sexy stud cards, became philosophical for a while and then headed towards the river barge/club area to dance on water like jesus would of. Harriet got scolded by someone for taking her drink, but eventually she doubted that it was even her drink and fucked off. There was also a woman with very angular hair. Oh and we nearly got bribed by one of the bouncers because apparently harriets dress wasnt small enough to get in for free. I also started on some guy for being unreasonable by doing absolutely nothing, and harriet encouraged some local to go to university.

After a while we headed back because i was a bit of a mess. The next day we had another extreme lie in, much to my delight. We spent today chillaxing until we made the worlds sexiest bowl of pasta that kept frothing like a rabid dog every now and again. It was very slimey. It was beautiful. Now we are waiting to start drinking, but the dictators are prowling their territory, so we're waiting for them to fuck off because we'll probably break about 100 of their rules and end up in a hidden cell . Oh and this country yet again has no kind of logical road system and has far too many un-roadworthy trams that are always on the verge of tipping over. And serbians apparently love mein kampf.

Clara von cock tease

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