My Life is Not Average

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Day 9 Rhine Valley to Amsterdam, Netherlands.

Monday 7^th January 2013

Unique Amsterdam beckons with its array of funky coffee shops, busy canals and literally millions of bicycles. Enjoy an evening taking in the atmosphere – a mix of modern and historical Europe with a Dutch flavour – windmills, tulips, cheese and clogs.

Staying in a castle was magical and I definitely want to do a Rhine river cruise at some point. We stopped in town to visit the Stein shop and the Cuckoo clock shop and I couldn’t leave without buying an original official Stein Bear for my sister. Which led me to start buying presents for everyone else! After another fairly long coach journey, we crossed the border from Germany to the Netherlands, on our way to the capital party town. On the way, Carly was telling us the tale of the guy whose farm we were going to visit en route, to see how clogs and cheese were made. Her impression of him was spot on. Such a funny man and very ‘un P.C.’ we stood there laughing while he showed us cheese then wooden clogs and spent a fortune in the gift shop. Our hostel was on the outskirts and then proceeded one of the funniest nights I have ever had!



Since the start of the trip, Carly had been telling us of a very special show we could see when we got to Amsterdam, as part of one of the optional extras. All week long, I was of the view, no I don’t need to see that. Who would want to. Walking round the red light district was enough for me. As we arrived in Amsterdam and congregated in Dam Square, Michelle and I were feeling mischievous. While we were all looking for somewhere for dinner, we decided that actually yes we did want to go and see the show. I didn’t have enough cash for a ticket so John kindly lent me some until the next day. He was insistent I should let my hair down and join the majority of the group at ‘Moulin Rouge Sex Show’! So leaving the more conservative ladies at dinner (a noodle bar which was really yummy), Michelle and I were like giggly schoolgirls as we followed Carly down the lane and was led into a dark small theatre space with a bar. We had front row seats and I was sat on the end next to Domino and Michelle. A slight feeling of hysterical nervous laughter and we were given our vodka and coke and the first ‘lady’ came out.

A blonde slim girl, she danced round the pole stripping and produced a pen. Jared was pulled up on stage and told to lay down. Then she proceeded to hover over his chest and write Moulin Rouge with some very nice penmanship. And I assure you she wasn’t using her hands! The second girl did some interesting acrobatics with a lit candle, you had to be very careful with that particular party trick. Then out came the third woman, dark hair, bit more robust. Calvin I believe was dragged on stage and sat in a chair. He was then tied up with a ribbon that was being stored in a somewhat dark cave. And it just kept coming! By this point we were all a little off our heads with laughter and drink. I didn’t quite believe Carly when she said a couple had sex on stage. But lo and behold, out came a mature woman in a lace bodystocking and a very young man dressed in a cloak like a monk and they got down and dirty right there in front of us. Live porn. Although not so much as a turn on as a ‘cant believe I'm watching this but cant look away’ moment. Carly and Ype were in hysterics. They have seen it many times before. The last girl was the best. She came out, got the crowd going and some volunteers up on stage. With Ashley eating banana off of her, and Kenny being held in a tight thigh grip, she was the most fun. But I tell you it certainly was an eye opener. Thinking of going to Amsterdam – you cant rule out a trip to this place!

The excitement of the show was enough for me, and Michelle and I headed back to the hostel on the coach, filling in the girls who didn’t come to see it, while the party lot headed to the cafes. The two of us were still high on the atmosphere and joined Ype in the bar for a drink or two. Then stood outside our room ‘shhhing’ each other trying to be quiet before going in and waking everyone up.



Outlook on Amsterdam – fun night out so far!!!

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