Chapter 10: Vacation to a Tropical Island

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The morning we travelled to Berlin, I was having some trouble willing myself out of bed. I had only slept two hours, so I'm sure no one can say I didn't have a reason. Plus, having stayed out all night, I neglected to pack any of my belongings before the morning we had to leave. So, with my alarm clock beeping loudly next to my head, and a Home Alone-esque scenario where I had to scramble to get all my stuff together so we could catch our train, I nearly just went back to bed to avoid it. But travel isn't for the meek, something I reminded myself of as I mechanically rolled out of bed and went through the motions. I had packed this bag so often that I could do it blindfolded...I even had a rhythm. Sure, I might have given up on folding my clothes by this point, but that was a sacrifice I could live with. Packed and egged on by my compatriots (who slept only several more hours than myself), we made it out the door in time to check out and catch our train.

The trip was kind of a blur for me, due to the lack of sleep. I can't really remember where we stopped, or how many separate trains we ended up catching to get to Berlin, only that we made it to Hauptbahnhof in Berlin eventually and met up with our good friend, the lovely Angelina Callewege (recently married). She led us back to her loft, a large apartment on the second floor of an older building that she and her husband were sharing. With a small kitchen, but a good sized living room and bed room, it was actually a really nice place. Angi and her husband, Aaron, had recently painted some of the rooms, and the look was very cool. Because all of us had been out way too late the previous night, we asked if it were possible to just nap the afternoon away, and maybe watch some movies later that evening, to which we got a little ribbing from Angi (I believe the term "lazy" was flung about), but she obliged with a smile. The amount of extra bedding that house has is baffling. She converted a couch, a three-seater couch, into a room filling bed area. It was like watching a Transformer action figure, but it was a couch. Moments later, a queen sized mattress emerged from the bed room and landed in the remaining area of the living room. Apparently, it's German custom to have sleeping arrangements for four more people, or something. But, grateful to have a warm bed near a television playing Monsters Inc., I passed out about 20 minutes later for most of the afternoon. When I eventually awoke, the gang was mostly awake, and we decided to take it really easy. The evening was passed as we watched the first two Lord of the Rings movies, making sarcastic quips here and there about the flick, in the style of Mystery Science Theater 3000. An early night and more sleep ended a crazy first day in Berlin.

The next morning, we were all adequately recharged from our shenanigans in Hamburg. I always say, it must have been a good party if it takes a whole other day to get back on your feet. We took our time getting out the door, leaving the house around noon in the direction of Alexanderplatz. Alexanderplatz is a good central location in Berlin and a good deal of the tourist locales are within walking distance. But, being pretty hungry, we wanted to grab food before we started our trek on this cloudy day, so we walked around Alexanderplatz. We found our way over to the famous World Clock of Berlin, a giant rotating clock dedicated to telling people from all over the world that they were up way past their bedtime. As I recall, it was among the remnants of some world fair back in the day, but I can't recall when. We passed the world clock on our way to the nearby Alexa Mall, hopeful that at the very least, the german version of a food court could satisfy our rumbling stomachs. We walked in and headed upstairs to grab a bite to eat at the food court. Jared and Tori went for more traditional german fare while I headed to a bright looking kiosk called 'Papa Asada', a mexican food purveyor. Now, back in the states, I avoid Taco Bell like the plague simply because I know what happens roughly 40 minutes after you eat it. It's a fundamental rule of buying mexican food from a fast food chain. But for some reason, I thought that maybe this time would be different. Surely, here in germany, the fast food is different. So I got some quesadilla, some chips and guac, and mozzarella sticks (for good measure). I met back up with Jared and Tori, both of whom had gotten either currywurst or....whatever Tori got. Jared, in his ever present quest to burn the taste buds off his tongue, had is currywurst practically swimming in the restaurants own brand of hot sauce, which was apparently up to snuff, as he teared up here and there. My mexican food was below sub-par. The quesadilla was just warm enough to melt most of the cheese, the chips were stale, and the mozzarella sticks were unpleasant. We all left the mall full, but not particularly satisfied. Obviously mall food wasn't the best call.

We walked away from Alexanderplatz in the direction of the biggest looking buildings (as we had no map). It was a good call, as soon we found a fountain. It seemed dedicated to Poseidon and all of his oceanic friends, as it the fountain itself had Poseidon (trident and all) perched atop what looked like sea centaurs, with a seal, a snake, a gator, and a turtle all spitting water at him. I don't try and pretend I understand why fountains are structured like they are. I just go ahead and assume that Poseidon probably liked being spit on by sea creatures. It's probably under his 'likes' section on facebook. We continued on down the main street in the direction of the Tiergarten, passing the Radison Blue (boasting one of the world's largest indoor fish tanks!), a cool looking TV satellite thing, and eventually we found ourselves at the Berliner Dome. The Dome is among the more recognizable famous things in Berlin, being a bombed and burned church building of a much different architecture than most of the churches around Western Europe. We headed inside and walked around. It was a very big church, with the titular dome vaulted over our heads, dimly lit, but with a dove highlighted at the top. There were some amazing and intricate stained glass windows by the pulpit, and the Berliner Dome had possibly the biggest organ I've ever seen. An organ so big, you quietly think to yourself "who would ever need an organ that big?". Like, a domed building resonates pretty well, so an organ that big is kinda overkill. The church is beautiful though, oversized instruments aside. The architecture is late gothic and while the outside looks pretty beat up (the strains of withstanding WWII will do that to you), the inside is elegant and humble. There are quite a few memorials to dead leaders on the top floor, and even more when you head down to the crypt. Unlike other crypts we had seen on our travels, this crypt was packed with all kinds of memorial coffins for famous kings, queens, princes and the like. And, though a bit morbid, they enshrined quite a few dead toddlers as well. This crypt was the only one where being there gave off a noticeably creepy vibe (though others may disagree). After exiting the crypt, we decided to climb the Berliner Dome, no easy task by the way. First of all, though most could deduce that the road to the top was upstairs, once you get past the museum on the 2nd floor, it becomes a hunt for staircases leading to the next staircase. Once you get near the top, you dismount a staircase, wander in a big circle (wondering all the while if there is a next staircase, or if this is it), until you inevitably find more stairs. Now, generally I'm good with stairs, but the mexican food was starting to wreck some havoc on my insides, so climbing somewhere in the vicinity of 400 steps with a stomachache wasn't as pleasant as I would have liked. But, we did eventually reach the top, and the view was good. You could see the surrounding area clearly, and it helped us get our bearings as we could see the beginnings of Tiergarten, and the top of Brandenburg Gate as well. It was a shame that the sun wasn't out at this point, but we basked in the fruit of our labors for about 10 minutes before we headed back down the many staircases we had triumphed over on our epic climb. I believe that it was during this return trip that I started my slides and stairs argument.

To be honest, I don't understand why there aren't more slides. You climb a big flight of stairs, and now you have to go back down them. But why walk down them? There should just be a giant spiral slide with a sizable pillow at the bottom, so when you wanna get back to your floor, just jump on the slide and you'll be down there in a couple moments! Besides, slides are more fun than stairs anyway. If there are safety risks, just outline them in the nearby slide guidelines, so that people know it's a 'ride at your own risk' sort of deal. It's such a genius idea, I can't believe it hasn't been more effectively implemented.

We got to the bottom and exited the Dome, glad that we had experienced history and gotten a decent work out. We headed to the nearby columned building, the Altes Museum, which boasted italian artwork. We went in, and found out that the exhibit we were looking for, the Egyptian Culture Exhibit, was actually at the nearby Neues Museum. We wandered around the exhibit for a couple hours admiring a wide variety of tools, statues, and artwork from the Egyptian culture. It's hard to explain, but I highly suggest the exhibit if it's still in circulation when you drop by Berlin. It has some interesting hands-on exhibits including pelt touching, and the history is there in spades. Tired from walking so much, we headed back to Angi's to finish up the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, eat some hamburger stroganoff (my attempt to make my mother's recipe without the exact ingredients), and drink beer. It was another relaxed night in, but nearing the end of our trip, I don't think anyone was complaining.

The next day was a half hearted attempt at sight seeing. It was easy to tell at this point that all the travel was taking it's toll, and that midday naps were becoming more of a necessity than an optional thing. We started by walking from Haupbahnhof to the Berlin Holocaust Memorial. Though unremarkable looking from Google Maps, don't be fooled. It's roughly a square city block of uniform stone pillars with the ground around it at differing heights, in sort of a wave pattern. It's difficult to explain, so let me try it like this. Imagine starting at the top of a hill in a forest. As you walk down the hill, the trees around you grow taller and taller simply because while you are going lower, they remain tall and stationary. Now replace trees with large stone pillars and you've got it. So, you start with these pillars knee high, but by the time you near the center of the memorial, the tops are about 5 feet above you. Surrounded on all sides, you know roughly where you are in relation to the streets around you, but it is quite easy to lose anyone you are traveling with if you decide to take one small turn in a different direction. As I wandered around, I gave thought to the fact that this "easy to lose someone in here" vibe was intentionally related to how the holocaust separated families and friends from one another with such ease. We gave the memorial proper tribute before playing elongated games of Marco Polo and sneaking up on one another and having some fun with the whole experience. After about 15 minutes, we headed out of the maze and towards the famous Brandenburg Gate. When we walked the three blocks towards the gate, the area around it was hopping. The nearby plaza was buzzing with your average tourist photo-ops and souvenir booths, as well as an unusual amount of people in costumes, including an indian chief and a mime. The gate itself looked quite a bit like most arcs we had seen in other countries, but while it's architecture might have been un-amazing, the history that backs it up makes up for it.

From the Brandenburg Gate, we headed to Tiergarten, Berlin's monster of a park. It was a nice park, to be fair. It was a long walk to get around it, and along the way, we found some interesting stones engraved with the words "love" and "hope" and such. I think maybe it was another memorial, but the thing I took away from that were how sweet looking some of those rocks were. I admit to having the emotional impact of certain oddball monuments being lost on me. There was a memorial to some of the great composers near a small pond, so we stopped there for a while to take pictures and enjoy the scenery. We left the park pretty soon after that (too soon, in my opinion, as the park remained mostly unexplored), opting to walk along the road and see some of the nearby buildings instead. We ended up back near Haupbahnhof, and cut the day short as we were all pretty tired from the walking around. Again, I emphasize the need for naps throughout the day. We went back, had a couple beers, and relaxed for a bit before dinner. We picked a restaurant in a district that Angi had suggested (a short walk from Ostbahnhof, I believe), so we headed over there and grabbed a table at a nearby restaurant. We ended up having a pretty good dinner, but the service there was not good. There were about 20 minute intervals between when they would visit the table, and though it was busy, it was not that bad (coming from someone who has worked in a restaurant). You'd get your menu, and then 20 minutes later they would take your drink order, then 20 minute later the beers would come, and they would take your food order. Rinse and repeat. The night ended late but quietly.

Despite getting a good nights sleep, we started our day kind of late. Out of the house around 11, we met up with Angi and Aaron for happy hour sushi at a place they suggested. Besides strong cocktails (it was happy hour after all), the sushi was reasonably priced and tasted great. For me, it was probably that turning point in my life where sushi went from raw fish to delicacy in a matter of moments. In life, we rarely commemorate that specific moment where choice foods go from "that nasty smelling foreign thing" to "a greater meal, I have not had", and for me, thats where I started eating sushi. After lunch, we hopped the next train to Potzdam, our destination for the day. We had been told by Angi that Potzdam was a great location for a day trip whilst in Berlin, with plenty to see, and some great parks with big palaces. And while we eventually warmed to Potzdam, it was met with some resistance. We spent the first half of our day trip simply trying to find the park we had heard so much about, walking around, following signs you might see in Lewis Carrol's titular Wonderland that point towards the same park, but in opposite directions. We had a fun walk around seeing some interesting wall art as we headed through city streets, along rivers, and along transit rails. I had a great time throughout, but Jared was getting visibly frustrated, occasionally shouting something akin to "Damn you, Potzdam!" when we were away from the local population. After following the first sign to Parc Sanssoucci and going the wrong way, we decided to try following the other one. We had gone no fewer than 5 blocks when we finally found the central hub of Potzdam: a smaller looking Brandenberg Gate-esque arch, and a public square with a well-sized fountain shooting water into the air. This public square actually had a map too, one more clearly labeled than the map we had been attempting to use with limited success. Maybe 8 blocks down the road, we found our Parc, and I can not over emphasize that this park was absolutely worth the trip and the trouble. It's such a cool park that I should start another paragraph for it.

Parc Sanssoucci is a massive park to be sure, but that aspect is often overlooked by those who walk about. To get from one end to another (and this is just West to East....who knows about South to North), it takes a half hour walking. The crazy thing is that you can see your end location the whole way, a massive palace formally used by German royalty that looks big from a distance and is out right gargantuan by the time you are resting on it's steps. But to make a straight shot through this park would be a mistake, for along the way you are treated to expertly tended gardens, hedges, and flowers, not to mention the many offshoot paths that take you along different roads through the park. Occasionally, walking along the main path, you will reach a four path intersection, much like a stoplight for cars, where there are benches, statues, and all sorts of artistic artifacts. And, though I cannot speak for what is after a left turn at these intersections, if you take the right paths, more often than not, one will come across another palace. Following the main path after checking out many of the offshoots, we ended at the palace in the distance (and I'll try to include pictures to give a sense of scale), and let me tell ya, this park will give you one hell of a walk for the day. We spent roughly two and a half hours here, and I still feel like I've seen nothing of this place. Parc Sanssoucci wins my "Park of the Trip" award hands down, and hopefully, those of you reading will feel inclined to Google image search this place so you can see some of those things for yourself. We headed back from the palace as the sun was setting behind us, and after the dark was upon us, we were on the train back to Berlin. To finish up our night, we went back to Angi's and watched Germany's Got Talent (or it's european equivalent) and saw some things that were both amazing and downright horrific. The image of a short, fat, hitler lookalike wearing a thong and dancing to bad music will forever be the thing of my nightmares.

The next day, we had planned a day trip to Leipzig. But of course, the best laid plans often go awry, and our plans were never the best laid. Our friend Sarah, whom we had been trying to contact since we left Hamburg, had finally made contact, explaining that we should make an effort to meet up at the Maver's Park Flea Market, to which we agreed to do. We scraped our Leipzig trip and headed over to the flea market with hope of seeing our friend again. The moment we walked into the market, those hopes all but vanished. You see, this flea market is a big deal. Hell, flea 'market' might be underselling it. This could very easily be a flea 'mall of America' or flea 'New York Stock Exchange'. The market consisted of a literal maze of kiosks and tents occupying roughly 2 square blocks of space, selling everything from t-shirts with handmade art on it, to magnets, war memorabilia, crafts, and nearly anything else you could think of. Not one oddball collectors group was ignored in this treasure trove of other people's stuff. There were even tents that, as Angi put it, 'were set up to sell things that may of may not have just been pilfered from a deceased person's residence'. So, now you have a picture of the market, now picture every figurative artery of this market clogged with upwards of 3500 people, occasionally sticking to the side of the traffic paths to pick up an oddity and look at it for an unwarranted amount of time. I guess the point I'm looking to make here was that trying to find our friend Sarah had suddenly become more of a human sized game of 'find the needle in the haystack'. Granted, our needle had bright orange hair at the time, but a difficulty nonetheless. So, on our hunt for Sarah, we did what anyone would do at a giant flea market: we shopped. There were some very cool items up for grabs, including but not limited too: stuffed animals (like taxidermy style), homemade rings, a pile of VHS tapes, tires, replica weapons from WWII (I hope they were replicas...), and so much other craziness. After splitting up, our group had found each other again, and decided to call of our search for Sarah and head out. But all of a sudden, out of the blue we heard a cry from behind us...."Americans! Over here!". And, to our complete surprise, Sarah had found us.

The reunion was nice, and we spent some more time looking around the market before heading to the nearby park where another 1000 people were gathered for what appeared to be some combination of outdoor karaoke and a parade. We sat on the hill to watch the karaoke, which was being done in front of a hillside crowd of roughly 300 (my estimate). The testicular fortitude one would have to have to sing karaoke in front of that many people must manly to say the least, though I'd have done it after a couple strong drinks, so maybe it was easier than it looked. And as we watched the karaoke, a weird parade of people walked behind it, carrying a single float: an inflatable shining silver hammer. Whatever the context for this parade, the people who attended had that certain 'oddball' flair about them, and some were very clearly drunk (including the float operators). After a while, we were hungry and decided to get food at a nearby indian restaurant that had happy hour specials going on at the time as well. Good food, good cocktails, and good company capped off quite the adventure of a day. We decided to meet up the next day for a vacation, and headed home for the evening. It was Sunday after all, and I had finally figured out how to stream football to the house, so me and Jared stayed up way too late getting drunk and watching our teams play hard and win/lose (I think that was a rare Cowboy win that night, while the Vikes lost to the Jets....not surprising in retrospect).

The next morning we started our last proper day in Berlin, and the last day we would all spend in a country we had never been in (our next stop was Winchester, but Jared was the only one who hadn't been). We had wanted to do something special and we had all been talking up this place called the Tropical Island. The Tropical Island was a water park located in a refurbished WWII plane hanger used by the Axis planes to do bombing runs. **Correction: "The hangar was built in 1998-2000 for the Cargolifter. Not for WWII planes." -- courtesy of abalada** As Tropical Island used the whole of the inside of the hanger for the water park, it lived up to its description of 'the largest indoor water park in all of Europe'. We had to take a train and two busses to get there from Berlin, and in the freezing cold to boot, but once you walk inside Tropical Island, it's as if you have left Germany and landed on a balmy southern hemisphere island. The temperature hits you in a big wave as the actual rainforest looms nearby, and the only thing that separates you from the fun is a single turnstile. They give you a little watch like device that tracks all of your purchases while you are on the grounds (drinks, food, access to water slides and spa areas), and then you are off. We started in the South Sea as we tried to get our bearings in the massive hanger based water park. The South Sea was the kids section, complete with a fake beach and a backdrop of a real tropical beach lining the wall. From there, our group headed to the lagoon, a place of more interest than the calm of the kid infested South Sea. The Lagoon had some of the more interesting features of a water park including a condensed and concentrated lazy river, except that you get swept along in a short loop at high speeds. A nearby waterfall hits you with force strong enough to knock you into the water. A pair of smaller water slides send you downwards in the dark, save for the occasional flicker of the rave lights in the tube. The Lagoon was the solid foundation on which the rest of the park rested on. After hitting the lagoon, we grabbed some over priced food and a drink, watched the teaser for a german magic show I couldn't have been less interested in (and not just because I couldn't understand a word of it).

From there we headed to the spa portion of the park, which we had paid for on our combo ticket. The first thing we had to do was read the 'required rules' board of the section, and while most of it was standard spa fare, one rule stood out as if it were bolded: "No swimsuits allowed in spa area. Robes allowed or go without clothing". We all kinda looked at each other, knowing that even if we had robes, the next part of our day was going to be inextricably linked with seeing a lot of naked people. Though none of us were so prude we couldn't just roll with it, so we got robes, hit the spas, and blended in with the crowd (and I'll let you all out there decide to what degree we decided to blend in). What followed was a jaunt to three different types of saunas, a couple different methods of going from cold water to warm water environments (including having a large bucket of cold water ominously fill above your head, with the pull cord in your hand), whirlpools and hot tubs, and yes, maybe naked people. But, after a while, the whole naked thing becomes a non factor and you just kinda roll with it. After we had left the spa and returned to the lagoon for a good amount of time, we decided to split groups. The girls had decided they wanted to have some princess treatment in the form of a spa treatment package, so they headed back to the spa, while me and Jared had been eyeing the ridiculous water slides, so tall you could see the biggest one from any point in the water park. So, we headed over there, and decided to go big or go home and do the tallest slide first. Just to give you an idea of the nervousness this slide can instill, the warning sign won't let you go on it if you are pregnant or have heart trouble. You climb roughly six stories of stairs to get to the top. The line isn't terribly long, because most people only feel the need to ride it once. And Jared went first. As I stepped up to the slide, waiting for that green light to say I could go, it was the longest 5 second of my whole day. And then I was off, sliding at what must have been Mach 3 down a dark blue tube, water in every orifice of my face, with no idea what was going on around me. And about 5 seconds from the start of the slide, it's over as fast as it started, and I, the survivor of the most ridiculous water slide this side of Berlin, try to get my sense of direction back, as I stumble, disoriented, towards the exit. And when I got your bearings back, I headed right back up.

The other slides were fun as well, but nothing was quite like the crazy blue slide. We met up with the girls, who had enjoyed more naked individuals as they were treated pretty well (and to be fair, they had very soft faces afterwards, which they made us feel). Having arrived at 1pm, and it now being 7:30pm, we thought we should probably head back home and get ready for our trip to Winchester tomorrow. We got back to Angi's pretty late after taking a different bus back to the train station and sitting in the train station for a half hour waiting for our train to leave. Sarah stayed for a bit, playing shithead with us, and then headed out for her place as we had a good last night of sleep at Angi's.

The next morning, Sarah stopped by briefly to say a proper goodbye to us all, which was of course sad, but thats one of the bitter sweet moments of travel. Shortly afterwards, we said our goodbyes to Angi and Aaron, who had been amazingly hospitable to us (and if they ever read this, they have only my most honest thanks for that they did for us while we were there) and headed out for the airport. We would eventually get to Winchester safely but not before a crazy, and lucky intervention by the travel gods. But unfortunately, thats a story for another chapter.

Signing off from Portland, OR

Ben

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