Published: February 10th 2007February 10th 2007
The only part of this picture that sucks is Andre and Brandi in the background.
Alors? Qu'est-ce qui s'est passé??
1. I paid $7 to eat a piece of cake so heavy and enormous that I got chills and started sweating as I was eating it, it was so disgustingly good. This was 20 minutes before we had to get off the bus to walk up 238 stairs to Mont St. Michel. I was nothing but dead weight.
2. On my first attempt at the 'flaming swastika' picture, there was a grave miscommunication between me and my picture taker. Basically, I started sprinting across the plaza we were in (which contained about 40 people), leapt as high and as far as I possibly could in the air, flashed a quick smile at the camera, then had some technical difficulties while trying to land my jump. The beautiful, medieval stone terrace completely clobbered me. I looked up to Andrew, with the understanding that nothing but the most glorious picture could have resulted from that spectacle. He just shook his head, saying
I told you I wasn't ready!!
I was ashamed, to say the least. As I dusted myself off, knowing that my knee was going to bruise and swell immediately, I heard at least 13 of the 40 people laughing,
Chocolate Cake..Lodged In the Lining of My Heart...
From left to right: Almond praline, chocolate sauce, alternating layers of the most dense chocolate cake I've ever seen and chocolate bar, meringue, coffee sauce, espresso beans. It still kind of makes me feel queasy. It was at least as big as my head.
but there was nothing I could do but try again. The end result was pure majesty. No pain, no gain, right?
3. After school one day I decided to take my time and wander around downtown because I hadn't had much time for the simple things in life. The first thing that caught my eye was a delicious French pastry. The second was the Galeries Lafayette, a huge Nordstrom's-like department store, with an attached grocery and baked goods shop on the bottom level. The prices were as ridiculous as the French
. As I traipsed around shelf after shelf after shelf, I suddenly heard a scream from behind me, and a heavy object was immediately thrown into my back, again knocking me to the ground. There was a crash, as if an enormous, empty plastic display rack had been thrown onto the tile floor. I rolled around. Some lady who worked at the store apparently rolled her ankle in her stupidly high-heeled French boots while carrying an emormous, empty plastic display rack. She had dropped the display, fallen into me, and sprained her ankle. I was panicked. I started babbling in French, saying the equivalent of
Shit!! Oh my god! What are you doing?! How've you been!? What does he feel?!!? Shit!!
The lady continued to moan on the floor. Luckily, a fellow co-worker slowly sauntered to her aid. I picked up some pieces of plastic on the floor and kind of piled them up...then quickly
made an exit.