A Cranky Captain and Shooting Stars: The Caribbean Adventure

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At 7pm on Tuesday 22nd November, after 10 hours spent waiting for our paperwork to be stamped by one official, signed by another who would be "back in 10 minutes", witnessed by someone who was currently away on vacation, signed by someone else, and finally copied, stamped and returned by the official head of the Officious Officials only in the minutes between 3:23pm and 3:27pm whilst both reciting 'the Officious Officials Official Statute' and smoking a ceremonial pipe, our high seas adventure began.

Those present were yours truly, Jessie (see previous blog entry), Johannes (a German), Drew (an American), Andre (another American), Captain Hernando (aka El Capitan and 'that massive pain in the arse' by the end of the journey) and our trusty stead, 'Marie-Jo' (a 31 foot sailing boat).

The skies that had been shedding rain on us all day had opened for us as we chugged out of Cartagena Harbour. We all took this as a good sign but time would tell it wasn't such a good sign afterall.

The premise for the trip was '2 days of sailing to San Blas and 3 days spent sailing around the islands', however, as with all travel in Latin America, it never happens without a hitch. Our hitch was that the current wasv headed in the opposite direction and there was no wind. "2 days maximum" turned into 3 days of nothing to see but sky, water and the acrid smell of 6 souls that hadn't showered (oh yes, you could SEE the smell).

It's hard to describe the emotions one feels when one is exposed to only sky, water and an acrid smell for three days. I guess you could start by saying, pretty damn bored. Our only source of entertainment (after the witty, insightful and intellectual conversation had died down) became spotting pieces of Interesting Stuff floating by us. Interesting Stuff consisted of anything floating in the water that could hold our attention for a few seconds: plastic bottles, styrofoam, seaweed and, if we were really lucky, a piece of wood.

El Capitan later told us of yachts that have sailed upon boxes of millions of dollars and some boxes filled with cocaine, dropped as authorities approached smugglers. I don't know if El Capitan just said this to get us excited so that we didn't get cabin-fever or if it was actually true, but it certainly got us thinking awhile. I pondered what I'd prefer to find: money or drugs. In any other circumstances I'd have chosen the money, but I decided there was a possibility cocaine might make the trip go faster.

This was the start of much useless pondering: I wonder how long that piece of styrofoam has been at sea for? (A: Not as long as us); Is it bored too? (A: Don't be silly, styrofoam doesn't have emotions); If I had to resort to Cannabalism, who would I eat first? (A: Drew); If I had to lighten our load, who would I throw overboard first? (A: El Capitan); What's that smell? (A: Don't know); Did I just see that bottle half an hour ago? (A: Probably); Which are tastier, M&M's or Smarties? (A: There's no use thinking about it because you're probably never going to taste either of them ever, ever, e-v-e-r again).

We were moving at a snails pace and it was VERY frustrating. This was pretty much when our once jovial captain became that afore-mentioned 'massive pain in the arse' and had fits of anger. Luckily, our captain was a bit of a chauvinist and his anger was mostly reserved for the boys, which, i guess in some ways, provided Jessie and I with some light entertainment. But most of us started resenting El Capitan, as it seemed impossible to please him. He'd point at something from a distance and say, "pull that". We'd point and say, "this one?". He'd point and yell, "not THAT one, THAT one". We'd point and ask, "this one?", and then he'd throw his arms into the air and repeat the phrase which was most uttered during the trip, "aaaah, SHIT!"

However, not all was bad, strange, angry and smelly on these first few days. We all took turns for 2 hour shifts at the wheel, both during the day and during the night. At night the sky was amazing. A blanket of twinkly things from horizon to horizon (to horizon to horizon to horizon...), and every time I looked anywhere a shooting star would pass.

On day 3, we saw land (ho!) - the Panamanian coast. But it was not till the next day that we got to dive into the clear blue water and swim to out beautiful coconut palm studded island.

Upon our arrival, we were greeted by the Kuna Indians who spend months making 'Molas' (weavings). The Kuna women wear beautifully colourful clothes and have piercings through the middle of their noses (rock on!) and are very cleaver salespeople, catching you when you least expect to make a purchase. At the island of Porvenir the Kuna women approached in their dug-out canoes trying to pedal their wares, but we were under strict instructions from the captain to not buy from these people and instead buy from the Kuna of "his" island.

Andre had to get a flight home so we traded him at Porvenir for Jessie's boyfriend, Peter, who had been patiently waiting on Porvenir for 2 days, not knowing when or if we were going to ever turn up. With the trade completed we headed onto "the captain's island", Chichimay.

We passed many beautiful islands on the way to Chichimay. Some islands were so small that only one coconut palm occupied them... the kind of island screensavers are made of. But Chichimay was definitely the standout, and on this island we lived happily ever after (for two days), swimming, eating and relaxing. It was great.

Sadly, all good stories must come to an end and we had to leave our island paradise so we all took a plane from Porvenir to the big smoke of Panama City.

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