on the ferry from Kho Tao to Kho Samui, Na Thon. 01-02-2009. Primitive sorcery, superstitious beliefs and a fascination with the animal spirituality are rife in the head of any Thai, be it male or female. Even the ferry from Kho Tao to Kho Samui has a small spirit house with burning insence that brings some relief to the air inside which is heavy with sigarette smoke, the crying of a baby that competes with the blaring on the inevitable TV system right next to the spirit house, showing a movie that I am unable to concentrate on. Half an adult life of coming to the Kingdom of the Smile, experiences and events, incidents, all dismantled and stored somewhere in the darker and deeper recesses of my Farang mind, Asian images and oriental thinking colliding with ... read more

Kho Tao, 30-01-2009. The gigantic flatscreen TV in the Flower Restaurant shows an over-muscled Arnold Schwarzenegger quick-shooting his enemies with an enormous gun, his face full with camouflage colors and set in a grotesque grin, explosions go off all around him killing off even more enemy combatants but miraculously leaving Mister Universe unscathed. Most of the other diners' eyes are literally glued to the screen, not mine though. I try to concentrate to the sounds of the waves rolling in advocating the beginning of high tide, I'm trying to enjoy my food, fried rice with barbequed squid which I caught myself today during my second day out at sea in my hired kayak. It is not Arnie's actions on the screen that disturb my mental peace tonight, nor the loud "Cocaine In My Brain" Reggae music ... read more

Kho Tao, 28-01-2009. For a moment I believe my eyes are alive with neon light, for a moment I see a gold colored light beaming off an endless and interminable row of Buddhas whose crazy but divine smiles grin at me in a mystic way, trying to tell me something.....? Did he know my dream, being back on that motorbike taxi deftly avoiding elefants in the hectic traffic of Bangkok's China Town with its countless chinese owned juwelery shops, Chinese characters screaming at me in the colors yellow and gold, Farang tourists in the streets, quick camara shooting the Chinese New Year Dragon and fire crackers going off, on my way to Nong in the Shangria-La Hotel, nearly sh*tting myself with fright while the endless narrative keeps churning through my Farang head trying so hard to ... read more

Chumpon, 26-01-2009. Zoom in....... I remember Hans, how I arrive from Isaan together with Nong-Chay, the big buildings, all the cars and people in the broad streets. I remember how I feel lonely and alone waiting at the bus station, terrified and bad heart with this hectic world outside waiting for Nong-Chay to return while guarding bag ours. I remember how he come back with a big sweaty Farang, how the stench coming of his white body make feel sick me, how look in his blue eye scare me, his hairy legs under baggy shorts his and big nose his, loud voice his.... I had never see before Farang in life me, just on TV in village main house. I remember how Nong-Chay tell me I have go with him, Farang would give me money in ... read more

Bangkok, 24-01-2009, Nighttime. All Bangkok taxi drivers are superstitious to the max, often orinating from Thailand's poor north, wearing several Buddha pendants around their necks, go to the wat every morning to make an offering of rice, garlands and moonshine whiskey, cuban sigars and sigarettes to the spirits that rule their fears, the spiritual world of the goddess whose image adourns the inside of Bangkok taxis, whose pendant hangs around the necks of the countless motorbike taxi drivers in this huge staeming metropole. I try to concentrate on the powerfull Buddha pendant hanging around my own farang neck, my tighs clasped tightly against the upperlegs of the taxi driver while he skillfully wringles through the Bangkok traffic jams. I fear for my kneecaps with only centimeters to spare at both sides, mere inches to the cars ... read more