I had a rather inconvenient 8 hour layover in Miami airport on my way from Brazil, and had to fight the urge to escape to the comforting cleanliness and heart-busting burgers of the USA. I satisfied myself with a sullen sausage-and-egg-McMuffin at the airport, but have been travelling for a long time now, and am looking forward to the bland and decadent comforts of the western world. Costa Rica, though, lifted my spirits quickly. A return to Spanish speaking had me conversing with the locals once again (topics of conversation as usual: women, beer, football), and the huge number of septics [View Full Entry]

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Before leaving Rio for the second-to-last time, I decided to meet up with one final insect. ´Mosquito´ was the nickname of my legendary hang gliding guide and he was a very interesting chap, having lived and glided all over Britain, Japan and China. He had the indestructible air of a superhero. I think I too would have made a good superhero. My alter-ego would have been ´Lagerman´, complete with a suit fashioned from old cans of Stella and a much feared kebab ray (some may claim I already have an unpleasant prototype of the latter). Unfortunately, though, my only special power [View Full Entry]

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I don´t know why, but was hit by a bout of melancholy when I reached Rio. The weather wasn´t great, I was feeling homesick, Sugar Loaf was closed for repairs and a couple of thieves tried to scam me with the ´there´s something on your shoe´ trick (I am still hoping that what I found on my shoe was indeed caramel and not real excrement). I didn´t fancy throwing myself into party mode with the 18-year-old-pre-university travelling set, so generally mooched around Rio for a few days eating in nice restaurants and reading a lot. I´m increasingly impressed with the tautness [View Full Entry]

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Q: Can you name a swampy area the size of France that is full of unpleasant creatures? A: France (Alternative answer: the Pantanal in Brazil) It was a fairly uneventful, if long, journey that took me to Cuiaba, a town located just 60km from the official centre of the South American continent and the gateway to the Pantanal. The increase in heat was noticeable: temperatures rarely dip below 90 degrees there. A transfer took me 3 hours along the never-finished trans-Pantanal highway (a dirt track) to the eco lodge where I would stay for the next 5 days. An extraordinary place. [View Full Entry]

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Not much to say about Iguazu - I arrived, saw the waterfalls from the Argentinian and Brazilian sides, ate lots of steak, made the acquaintance of a Peruvian IT nerd, and left. Very beautiful, and stretching over a large area, the falls make Niagara look like a streak of piss and the place has a slightly other-worldly atmosphere. The vegetation is so green, the falls so dramatic, and with rainbows everywhere one feels like one is in a Disney recreation of the Garden of Eden (the guards quietly encouraged me to put my clothes back on and to stop berating wanton [View Full Entry]

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I moved on again from Buenos Aires as my ankles had become weak from excessive tangoing. Two weeks in country remained, and I decided to head to Mendoza at the expense of Cordoba on the promise of spectacular Andean scenery and adrenaline fueled antics (apologies to the good Burgers of Cordoba - I'm sure you have a wonderful city, and are very tasty). Mendoza was a great little town, although its appearance belied a seven figure population and its share of big city problems. Confident that I had left behind the shadow of pick-pocketry in Peru and Bolivia, I decided to [View Full Entry]

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I arrived in Buenos Aires full of expectation for Argentina. Initial impressions didn't disappoint as I settled myself into a plush hotel to polish my tango shoes and oil my chaps. The first morning and I breakfasted magnificently and headed downstairs for what was to become my finest day in a city so far. The Dalai Lama decided to drop by to wish me well, or at least that's how I interpreted his visit, but unfortunately our meeting was rather hijacked by a phalanx of Porteño Buddhists who had unceremoniously turned up to pay him (us) their respects. We both exhuded [View Full Entry]

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But only in his final days, unfortunately. No starlets or spruce geese for me - just quite a lot of sitting around in my undergarments drinking wine. Indeed, I did so for 3 straight days in Santiago. Arguably two days too many, but I needed to regain my mojo after the bacterial onslaught that was Bolivia. My hermitic existence was interrupted only on my brief sojourns into the city and on one occasion by a rather surprised housekeeper who intended to turn down my bed and deposit a complimentary chocolate bunny thereon. When I did venture to leave my humble lodgings [View Full Entry]

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'I've just seen a man wanking off a donkey into a cup over there! AND THEN ANOTHER MAN DRANK FROM THE CUP!', exclaimed the Irish man with a frantic expression. I went to investigate... I was really looking forward to Bolivia during my last couple of weeks in Peru - so much to see and do, and further away from the track beaten by other travellers (although increasingly on the backpacker circuit, 'cos it's cheap). La Paz first, and a somewhat foreboding city. You pick up horror stories about Bolivia while travelling, ranging from elaborate wallet snatching to tourist kidnapping. The [View Full Entry]

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No, not some sordid Iberian sexual peccadillo involving a donkey and a large chorizo that one might see advertised in a phonebox (French lessons?, A & O levels?), but rather stringent pedagogy in a language school in Cusco. My memories of school are mixed. The camaraderie of misehaviour always appealed, but the scars of wedgies gone wrong are slow to heal, and I didn't relish the rigour of excercising my mind any more than was sufficient to remain conscious. Still, the prospect of continuing to flounder for the remainder of my South American journey rankled enough to force me back to [View Full Entry]

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