Unemployed Ian

Here's the thing, I had written an especially amusing blog about my recent trip to Norway. Unfortunately, the servers went down, I lost my scribblings, and I'm unable to muster the effort to start from scratch. This being the case, you'll have to settle for a number of photos, an intinerary, and this link detailing a recent visit by Morten Harket to some kind of wind farm: Important Morten News 20th July - Arrive in Oslo. Meet friends. Have expensive beer. See junkie injecting heroin. Visit museums. Visit park. Drink whisky. 21st July - Drive to Sjåk. Nice scenery. Stop in Lillehammer to try out the bob-sleigh. Have roadside picnic. Buy elk sausage (and jumbo novelty ruler). Meet another friend. Drink beer. 22nd July - Watery fun in Sjåk. Go canyoning in the morning (cold water, ... read more

I struggled to leave New York for a number of reasons. I was having such a good time and wanted to prolong the fun as much as possible. There was also a problem with my first flight, the captain telling us as we sat on the runway that all the bolts had sheared off one of the engines. Not what you want to hear while awaiting takeoff. With a indefinite delay, I decided to head back into town to meet up with Olly. We headed to a sweaty party full of inebriated people dancing around, and quickly became inebriated ourselves, ending the night sprawled on the sidework in Brooklyn Heights with other remnants. More eggs the next day, and an extremely nauseous taxi journey to the airport again ('I won't be sick. Think nice thoughts. I'll ... read more

I settled down into the whirlpool at 4.30am surrounded by handfuls of hundred dollar bills and gazed out of the windows at the black ocean far below my suite. Not for the first time I pondered on my incredible luck. Indeed this whole trip, above all else, has left me with a profound sense of my own good fortune. I have seen parts of countries that even the locals struggle to see. I have met wonderful people at every turn. I have learned how to scuba dive, how to horse ride, how to abseil and climb. I have rafted, hang-glided, belayed, swam and surfed in some of the world's most spectacular spots. I have witnessed a shark feeding frenzy, watched condors soar, worn an anaconda hat and picked ticks from all over my body. And here ... read more

After the ill behaviour of California and Las Vegas, it was nice to escape up to Washington for some R&R (sort of a holiday-within-a-holiday-within-a-holiday). I had expected Seattle to be like a smaller San Francisco, packed with uber-cool bars and bohemian types. What instead I found was a rather dull city filled with panhandlers. The only place I have visited that came close in terms of numbers of vagrants was Delhi, and at least there the beggers were suitably haggard looking to warrant their remuneration. In Seattle they just all seemed like well-fed drunks looking for an easy buck. I spent a couple of days walking around the small city looking for fun with little success. Feeling rather pissed off, I signed up for the well publicised underground tour. Running for more than 40 years, this ... read more

Aaaaahhhhhh. Back to the comforts of familiar territory: fast cars, loose women and triple cheeseburgers. The US of A. Land of the free. Home of the Whopper. Marvellous. I flew into Miami sporting a tremendous hangover, having been unable to leave a bar in Belize City due to being the only person in the audience for the 5 piece band that was playing. As my body tried to cope with the chemicals ingested the night before, I became increasingly irritable, and for the first time in a long time found myself snapping at strangers. Not entirely to blame here - Miami really is a shockingly shit airport. In my haste to clear the building, I allowed myself to be traded up to a Mustang from a Ford Focus (or similar) at Hertz, and was somewhat surprised ... read more