Day 12 - Saturday, April 12 2008 Linda is a great devotee of Patrick O’Brien - author of the books on which the movie Master and Commander was based. The novels deal with the maritime adventures of Captain Jack Aubrey and his side-kick Stephen Maturin and make great reading, even if you’re not particularly interested in the sea and ships. O’Brien wrote with apparently consummate authority on the hey-day of sail, and was regarded as a vastly-experienced seaman and a No 1 expert on how men o’ war were built, rigged, and operated - whether in battle or heavy weather. O [View Full Entry]

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Day 11 - Friday, April 11 2008 The weather has turned sour on us. The misty moistness that prevailed in the Hong Kong approaches held good until we got back on board from Chiwan, but just after casting off warps in the early hours of yesterday, the fog closed in. The poor visibility meant we couldn’t clear the coastal traffic with the required degree of safety - even with radar - so there was no option but to heave to and wait for better conditions. We eventually got under way to the open sea about 0600. I was not to know [View Full Entry]

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Day 10 - Thursday, April 10 2008 Before we were even off the gangplank at Chiwan last night we were accosted by offers of ‘You want happee? Show you good time. Lookee, lookee!’ All of a sudden, the York and the Paranormal - Dubai’s leading institutions devoted to multi-cultural exchanges - seemed the epitome of genteel restraint. At least half dozen were competing for our attention, jostling to thrust cards and leaflets in our direction. And that was just the men! We had taken them for stevedores. Probably were - just moonlighting as frontline recruitment officers for [View Full Entry]

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Day 9 - Wednesday, April 9 2008 I’ve never been one for gloating. Those who know me well will vouch that the words ‘I told you so’ are not even in my phrase-book, but being proved right is always a source of profound satisfaction. And so it turned out today. Yet again. By mid-morning we were making excellent progress towards Hong Kong while I was busy researching how serial time-zone crossings affect day-time sleep patterns. I was coming to the conclusion that the effects are minimal (especially for people who have made the effort to learn how to doze off at [View Full Entry]

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Day 8 - Tuesday, April 8 2008 Hands up all who remember ‘The Good Ship Venus’. It used to be a very popular rugby club ditty in my youth. Nowadays, or so I’m told, the insidious creep of political correctness has all but eradicated the music and poetry that had been handed down through generations of beery singalongs. For all I know, ‘The Good Ship Venus’ may well be all but forgotten. Evidently the current crop of rugby enthusiasts drink bottled water and sing new and sensitive choruses like ‘We’re all greens together, that’s why we go sav [View Full Entry]

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Day 7 - Monday, April 7 2008 It’s now a week since we boarded the Tosca and there’s still a sense of unreality to the whole affair. What began late last year as an interesting possibility gradually took shape, but there was always a mental question-mark about actually making it happen. We knew that some cargo ships carried passengers, but how many, where to, and how to arrange it? Mr Google quickly provided the answer to that, with reams of sites offering various degrees of usefulness. Among the most promising was one with the highly original name of ‘Freighter Travel [View Full Entry]

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Day 6 - Sunday, April 6 2008 The expression ‘shipshape’ is taking on a whole new meaning. It signifies a bodyline (of sorts) that gets cuddlier by the day. If I could loosen another reef and let the waistband run free, I would. Trouble is, there are no more spare notches available. But, at last - I can now boast a genuine hour-glass figure. The top half billows over the belt, and the bottom half follows a reciprocal bulge, except they’re almost close to meeting. At this rate, when we’re back in Dubai I can get a job as Cliff’s body [View Full Entry]

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Day 5 - Saturday, April 5 2008 There’s more to this sea-faring business than most of you probably realise. Contrary to popular assumption, we’re not just idling the time away - watching the waves passing or waving to the passing watches. Far from it. We’re now officially crew members (or ‘supernumeraires’ as the skipper puts it) and must willingly discharge all the responsibilities that come with the job. More of that later, but first we had to get properly acquainted with the vessel. We have since traversed the Tosca from stem to stern, from the bilges to [View Full Entry]

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Day 4 - Friday, April 4 2008 Our French hosts are so thoughtful. Breakfast comes with the menus for lunch and dinner (just in case your appetite is faltering). When you stop drooling long enough to read past the ‘platteur de fromage’ you notice that the menu carries extra bits of information. Safety drill at 14.00; anti-piracy briefing at 16.00; we’re about to cross a time zone so remember to adjust your ancre. That, I think, is Franglais for watch - not be confused with the bloody great lump of metal that dangles from the bows. Etc, etc. If you’ve been [View Full Entry]

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Day 3 - Thursday, April 3 2008 The rocket launcher has to wait for another day. Not even a cutlass to be had. So much for anti-piracy measures. All we have is a lock-down - all external doors and hatchways to be barred and shuttered, double watch at cardinal points, and no promenading on the foredeck. In Nelson’s day, we’d have had carronades primed and ready, and the fuses lit for an instant whiff of grapeshot to deter any would-be challenger. Instead we adopt ‘le surete passif’ - if I understood correctly. Put in management speak, we’re reactive rather than p [View Full Entry]

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