Or, You Try Arguing Who Has To Yield With A Holstein Toward the end of the day today, when we were exhausted from tramping (the local word for hiking for those of you who know what else we're capable of), we were out on this country road that wasn't even mapped. We managed to find this gorge with a swing bridge that went across a pool of water the color of a bar of Zest soap. Yet again remarkable. But yes, we know it's beautiful. The country road. We're trying to make our way back to civilization after tracking down the [View Full Entry]

---

---

In Which We Discover That Waterfalls Are Where It's At, Baby! Gadzooks. I'm about a day behind thanks to suffering through dial-up internet service at our last two hotels. Mind you, these places, while very nice, are also out in the vast nowhere. Pass the sheep farm, turn left at the goats, and look behind the grove of trees. That's where we've been. It's a wonder they have toilet paper, and I'm complaining about slow internet connections. In the immortal words of Jesus, there's just no pleasing some people. A long, long day of travel today as we had to get [View Full Entry]

---

---

Or, We Hiked Up Hill For This? So it's bloody early, and we stopped for breakfast at the Wrinkly Rams. When you're in Omarama, New Zealand, you can't be too picky about the cafe's name. You're just thankful someone showed up to open the doors. Along with some fine looking pastries are some savory items for breakfast, including a delectable pile of fatty goodness called a "toasty." It's a square of toasted, home-baked wheat bread covered with a pile of bacon, which is topped with a melted mound of cheese. I managed to not drool on the glass case, but I [View Full Entry]

---

---

Where Life Turns Into One Big Bob Ross Painting Quite a challenge finding internet access out in the boondocks, so I'm doing several days postings while I can get logged in. We've long wondered if Bob Ross (God rest his soul) created the landscapes in his painting straight from his idealized imagination ... or if they were inspired by somewhere real. Little did we know he'd apparently spent a lot of time in New Zealand. Snow-capped mountains that descend into lakes so blue and pristine they act as a mirror to the heavens. There are simply not words to do it [View Full Entry]

---

---

In Which Our Intrepid Explorers Learn The Truth About Global Circumnavigation Among the great lies you tell yourself (including "childbirth isn't that painful" and "I'll lose those 10 pounds after the holidays"), we must now include, "It's an overnight flight. We'll sleep on the plane." We just spent our first day in New Zealand on two hours of sleep. Maybe. I think that's probably a generous estimation. Thankfully the flight was smooth and left/arrived on time. But the cabin was hotter than the seventh circle of hell. Somewhere in the middle of the night, we formed a ci [View Full Entry]

---

---

Where Are We Going? And Why Are We In This Handbasket? Counting today, there are six ... count 'em ... six days before we leave. And we're already in trouble. My mother arrives from New Mexico tomorrow. At least that means someone will clean the bathroom. Try as you may, you just can't stop the woman. This afternoon, I have to find a way to shove a 12-pound turkey into my refrigerator. Some dork (namely, me) decided that since we'd be in-country on T-day, we should have an early Thanksgiving before we left. Some people would prioritize packing. I prioritize stuffing [View Full Entry]

---

---