Cultural Experiences in Asia

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The effect of a totally homogeneous culture and the wealth of the West make traveling in Asia an interesting experience. Basically, it means that they can spot you from a mile away and have all sorts of connotations attached to your glaringly white skin, mainly that of wealth and sometimes of attractiveness as well.

The former is regrettable, although perhaps inexorably linked to the latter. The negative part is often there is a "local" price and a "screw-you, you-are-rich price" which the white tourists get. This second price can be alarmingly different than the first, sometimes 300% or 400% more, so even those who don't mind paying a bit more feel cheated. Consequently, if you have been traveling for a while you become a bit wary of this double standard.

I remember after a day of motorbiking in my first day in Thailand I decided to relax and find myself a beer. After all, deserved it! =P Motorbiking through a small, dusty city - a ha - I spotted a flashing strobe light up in the distance, the international symbol for a classy establishment. As I stumbled in the three girls working at the door looked very excited and warmly welcomed my inside in Thai (I think!). I chalked this up to the area being well off the beaten tourist track. Well to my disappointment the place was 100% empty. I turned to go, but the gals looked so excited to talk to a foreigner that in a moment of weakness I decided to stay for one beer. "One beer" is possibly the phrase that has gotten me in the most trouble in this world. Anyway the next 40 minutes consisted of watching the girls giggle about god knows what as I had my nosed buried in my phrasebook, looking for helpful thai translations of "please stop staring at me". No such luck. The girls turned on a karaoke machine behind us - GOD they love karoke here - a put on a song that had the work "farang", foreigner, in it a lot, laughing like preschoolers and sipping on coke as I looked on suspiciously.

Okay, time to blow this popsicle stand. Having the equivalent of 15 dollars in my pocket, I was naturally an Asian millionaire and relished the thought of the pennies I would spend on a single beer. The bill came - 575 baht - that's nearly 20 CAD! Right. Turns out the had charged me for - get this - the beer I had, the ice they put in front of me to watch melt, the ROOM I WAS SITTING IN (the VIP room, of course), the SONGS PLAYED ON THE STEREO, the DRINKS OF THE GIRLS (three girls!) and some other mysterious charge I can't remember - maybe the oil for the door hinges or the oxygen I'd breathed, I don't know. I laughed right in their face, a $20 beer is a bit stiff in the developing world. About 30 minutes of arguing later, they politely asked me to pay 300 baht. I politely told them to blow me. "Police?" threatened the man, his index finger and thumb extended in a mock phone. "Sure".

So there they showed up, sirens blazing, the Thai police. 5 strong for this clearly serious event. A ring of thai locals slowly gathered behind them and I begin to feel a bit uneasy about the 50-on-1 situation developing. Turns out they weren't trying to take advantage of me, particularly, this is just the way things are done here. Hmmm. After a bit more negotiation, the policeman takes off the girls' drinks and I pay about $7 for the experience - better than $20 and clearly a good time!. More fun ensued when, after admitting that I had been drinking to the police, I decided it wasn't a good idea to get on the motorcycle in front of them and drive home without a license. This only baffled them, however, and they picked me up a block later and put me back on my bike like a good patron. Oh, Thailand!

Anyway, onto issue # 2: the effect of you attractiveness here... Interesting and really quite alarming if you are not used to it.

One of our first experiences with this was in the glorious backpacker town of Yangshou (blog lost in a computer crash!), where China's famous limestone mountains are mingle with weaving rivers. This is the exact scene that you see painted so many times in those chinese silk scrolls, so actually when you are here its almost a little bit of deja vu. An interesting aspect of this town, besides the amazing scenery, is the presence of a number of very good English schools. People who are very motivated to learn more about Western culture will travel to these schools to improve their English and seeing them out on the town later is a unique experience to have a really detailed conversation with a Chinese person. They are also very interested in you! I remember on one occasion Rich and I were loitering outside a club, deciding whether we wanted to go in or just call it a night. Finally deciding to at least go check it out, we walked in apparently in the middle of something. People were cheering and clapping and I looked around for the source of the excitement- someone pulling off a cool dance move, a band finishing a song, something like that. As I looked around a saw nothing it took me almost a full minute to realize that WE were the source of excitement...they were CLAPPING as we entered a club, buying us drinks. Unbelievable!

Since then I have met quite a few local people - traveling alone is good for that - and have seen similar things to various degrees, even in well touristed places like Bangkok. Laying down in the park sometimes thai girls will come up to you out of nowhere, and hilariously, as a greeting, ask for your phone number. The fact that you don't speak thai and they don't speak english is apparently inconsequential.

Here you are hit on by girls, boys, boys dressed as girls, transvestites and prostitutes of all forms mentioned above. It's like suddenly I have left my own rightful body and into one a supermodel. For the most part it is funny and flattering, followed by somewhat awkward as you try to figure out just which group they fall into. Guess carefully!

Its stepped up in the more racy 'red-light' districts where you can expect to turn away touts and prostitutes at an alarming rate of maybe 10 times a a minute. And oh sweet jesus, if you happen to find yourself in the gay version of bangkok's seedier ares I politely suggest you run for your life. Any linebacker experience you may have have will suddenly become relevant.

A bit deeper into the cultural experience is the way they approach relationships here, both platonic and romantic. For one, the issue of your age is a big deal and they will ask you all the time how old you are. If you are more than a couple years apart, you actually cannot be friends, strictly speaking! Instead you will be a younger or older "brother", which has connotations about how you are suppose to respect you elders and in turn they are supposed to 'look after' you. Right.

I swear everytime I go out with locals I make about 45 faux pas a minute. Turning down someone's offer of a drink is often considered insulting (good luck staying sober!). Having a sip of your drink without offering cheers to everyone at the table is bad manners in Cambodia (this one is really hard to remember). Generally there is much more of 'group' culture here - people go out in gaggles and are often waiting for each other, buying each other drinks and so on. People make a HUGE deal about whether you are officially their friend or not, and I can only imagine the social obligations this entails. As I have later found out from a book on the subject, thai people especially are interested in showing how generous they are, as this is a highly held virtue, so there is free stuff for you everywhere.

Here is an example of common cultural problem (according to the book) that I have lived through personally. Lets say you meet a group of locals somewhere and decided to hang out. One of the girls in the group will likely be interested in you, and the first few minutes will be a bit awkward as they continually ask you if you think she is beautiful, if you like thai/whatever girls, how old you are, etc. After that you will chill out for a while, with them fairly regularly offering you things. You will probably feel unsure whether to accept or not, as you can insult them by doing so but you don't particularly want to feel indebted. According to the book, you should generally accept to show you like them and so that they can show how generous they are. Cool, everyone is having a good time. Later, though, the girl you are hanging out with might begin to ask you for things - in my case we were at the mall and she started asking me to buy her things, not huge things, but not trivial either. Now if you are like me, and you are, this sets alarm bells off instantly. I instantly find her interest in me disingenuous and feel as though she is trying to take advantage of me. I laugh it off, make small talk, and when she asks again, I make like a ball and bounce. Apparently what the girls are doing is giving you an opportunity to show how generous you are, you probably haven't had much to offer so far, and she finds your unwillingness confusing. Whoops! In a way it sounds a lot like Christmas to me - where people are well-meaning I think the biggest winners are maybe the retail stores.

Anyway, I have many more shananagians to tell you about, but this should at least give you an idea about the cultural aspect of Asia.

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Photos

A nice thai gal at the park
"Photos with the white guy" is a game Asians seemingly never tire of

Yangshuo
First image I could find of Yangshuo!

Children playing on the street
Two people hold a string while others jump over it, much to everyone's delight. People don't need much to have fun.