back in nam revisited

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so we flew to the capital of nam and being naive as we were thinking that the place in cambodia had been bad because we went from staying in faulty towers to the hotel out of the movie phsyco with the manager being norman bates!!! needless to say he was a freak of nature, and it was here that bert 2 ( the lizard) commited sucide when he fell 2 stories from the ceiling we think that norman ate him for dinner. the first night we only got there late and they locked the gates so we couldnt leave but were pissing ourselves with the state of the room and wondering where norman was keeping all the dead bodies, next day after a 'suplime' brekie including fucking artichoke tea i mean what the ?????we went to the war museaum which was so disturbing but really really fascinating too that night we escaped our prison which actually had bars on the windows and headed out not the best city for night life really more just a concrete jungle with a million motorbikes we met some guys from england and scotland who were teaching there and it was all good till the scottie started to tell us how all of irleand hates dublin and cork it the real capital it was all down hill after that. next day hopped a train to na trang for 7 hours! yet anoter interesting journey where they tried to sell me dirty corn on the cob and gulp juice and people put their feet almost on your head in the seat behind, highlight was we did get to watch a video on how to wash cows with a machine amazing!! got to na trang which is basically a beach resort and did nothing cultural for the next four days. this is also the location in which bert 3 attacked completely unprovoked might i add pamela by jumping on top of her and biting her ear i mean where is the lizard love??? really gives new meaning to the phrase leaping lizards!!! we went out and drank jam jars of vodka yum yum and slept and watched the best movies ever on star movies including our personal favourite delta force, chuch norris how we love you! went out every night and it was siobhans birthday so alot of drinking that night and the next day with about 2 hours sleep went on a boat trip for the day, with snorkling with no fish, food electric guitars and a floating bar, but us bening us missed most of this cause we were asleep on the deck, met a really cool couple from oz who were great craic. had to take it quiet easy that night but made up for it the next day with lots and lots of drinking went to bed at 5.30. but this was prob the worst idea ever because we had to catch a flight in which we were supposed to leave our hotel at 6, we had 3 wake up calls but pam kept saying yeah yeah and going back to sleep so at 6.45 we jumpped out of bed and did the 40 min drive to the airport oh did i mention our flight was at 7.45 so the whole way to the airport we were like we are never making this flight arrived 15 min before take off and they let us check in like what are the chances!!!!!!! it was the best luck ever!! from there we went to hanoi up north, where we booked ourselves on a 2 day cruise in halong bay. the boat was gorgeous that we were on it was us 1 german guy 1 italian girl and 8 spanish who spoke very little english and a dutch girl called illuim who pam shared a cabin with she was lovely and a women from san fran who is by far the coolest american we have ever met. so that day we had lunch on the boat visited a cave went kayaking through a little cave and jumped off the side of the boat after some persuasion for a swim in the sea the boat was meant to have karekoe but it didnt work so we got a mp4 going, we broke the language barrier with the spanards when we offered everyone the vodka we had smuggled on board we were very popular and we all got completey smashed!! next day we went biking through the national park well thats what it was supposed to be but it was through fucking farm land siobhan fell over at least 5 times and once pam brought here down with her and the farmers laughed with us by the end we didnt just have to contend with our million bits but all the scrapes and gigantic bruises so we are all looking really sexy apart from elaine who doesnt have a mark on her bitch! we went to monkey island were we didnt kayaking or looking for trhe monkeys for which you had to climb some deadly rocks because we couldnt be arsed, but all the monkeys came down to the beach but the highlight of that was went getting off the boat you had to go down a plank and pam got all the way to the bottom and fell at the last bloody step and got soaked but not hurt this time!this was done in front of a group of guys from swords who prob thought we were the biggest bunch of prisses eva well we proved them wrong by going drinking with them for the next 2 nights which was well good. oh did i forget to mention that the fab hotel we were staying in halong bay was very eco friendly as in they didnt turn on the lecci till 5 in the evening this includes the lift which we had to ask to be turned on and was very fun to walk down the 10 flights of stairs sh well. so the next day we got back to hanoi and went to the local irish pub(but of course!) had some normal food cause 4 the past 4 days all we had eaten was squid and srimp and rice and more squid we were at our limit. the swords lads came down and we ended up having a lock in in the pub including full sing songs siobhan tried to get pamela to do a number on her own but luckily she held out. then she and elaine went home at the ridicously early hour of 4.15 and siobhan went on to another party with the lads and the bar keeper and got home at 7am needless to say she wasnt the may west that day and she also had the worst luck of meeting a wanker from galway who spoke with a southsider accent who called her a snobby rich bitch from the southside, like it was the first thing he said to her see what i mean wanker she came home and regailed pam with the story thinking that she would never lay eyes on him again boy could she be anymore wrong........
because that morning we had to catch a flight to vientainne the capital of our next country loas and low and behold who was sitting in the reception of our hostel? yes the wonderful galwigian that is named alan (here i should prob mention that alan is very much on the short side of height this will become relevant fairlyt shortly). he tried to be nice to siobhan then but too little too late so we hopped our taxi to the airport and guess who was getting the same flight as us? yes alan and some lads he met from galway. so again he talked and talked to us about laos knowing it all just cause he was living there like whatever, but he did come in handy as when we landed in laos at 8pm we still had to hire a mini bus to bring us to vang vieng whci

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