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Published: August 13th 2007
Tripitaka, Sandy and Pigsy
The odd and weird looking character from the Chinese version of Monkey!Greeting Fellow Polutioners,
Well after having my shattered teeth repaired and dazzling all the local lovelies and fending off countless marriage proposals we fired up the Banana Horse and headed out of Saigon and up into the Central Highlands to a city called Da Lat. Hilarity and adventure ensues in the tradition of National Lampoons European Vacation and The Running Man.
So Da Lat is about 300km from Saigon and the bus company says it takes around 8 hours. As usual when it comes to time here in Vietnam you simply add couple of hours and you are just about right. The trip took 10.5 hours...but it was ok in a way because the scenery was great as we snaked our way up the steep and winding roads into the mountains. This particular bus trip was unique as far as our bus riding experiences here in Vietnam go; it was a full sized, fully air-conditioned, brand new bus that had about 8 people on it (16 if you include Sarah's troupe of Nepalese Tupperware Saleswomen/masseurs). Additionally we met an Australian couple who were really friendly and really nice company and who we would share a lovely day with traveling
Monkey!
Jaso looking like the super cool times funky guy he is hanging with Monkey! and Saartje basking in the reflected glory. around Da Lat on motorbikes. So we basically arrived in Da Lat when it was dark, which was ok and Sarah got a rude shock when she alighted from the bus to find the temperature was a paltry 21deg, she nearly froze to death, meanwhile I reveled in the lovely temperatures here in Da Lat that are caused by a small energy shield placed around the city to prevent solar flaring and ion particle distribution.
The four of us were taken to our lodgings and then we headed off for dinner in the cool Da Lat night air and took in the lovely surroundings of the city that they call Petit Paris. The French built a city here in the 1800's as a summer retreat from the brutal heat of Saigon. It is a lovely mix of French style villas and small winding streets (if they were cobbled it could be Switzerland....so I'm told) and a man made lake that is full of fish floating the wrong way up, which indicates to me there is some pretty crook stuff floating around in there. Still everyone fishes there and I am sure that if you order fish in a
Vgetable Fields
Vietnamese women picking onions or something. restaurant that there is a good chance that your mercury levels are gonna shoot through the roof. Yay Pollution!. Another striking feature of Da Lat is the laid back attitude of its people. Unlike Saigon there is no one trying to hustle you to buy crappy souvenirs or to come and eat in their restaurant, they just seem to take everything in their stride. They're also rugged up like it was winter in Canberra, it's 30 deg and they're riding and walking around in beanies and thick jackets and scarves while we're walking around in shorts and a t-shirt! Craaaazy.
Over dinner we got to know Kim and Blaire a lot better and really dug on their outlook on life. They moved from the hustle and bustle of Sydney to Beechworth in rural Victoria just to slow down and take it easy. Both have resisted flogging themselves to death by working and live by the dictum "Work to live not live to work." They just enjoy life and it is an outlook that both Sarah and I respect (although we found evidence that their trip to Vietnam was funded by George W. Bush to bring home American POWs
Lady Mountain
I'm making a right tit of myself trying to figure out why they call it 'Lady Mountain'? and MIA's from the war. We thought it was pie in the sky stuff, but they told us that after George had watched the 'documentary' Missing In Action III staring Chuck Norris and he just had to get them MIA's out boy! Sounds entirely plausible, after all there were WMD's in Iraq...)
In Da Lat there is a group of motorcycle dudes called "The Easy Riders" and they're pretty legendary within back-packing circles, they're older dudes who take you on tours around Da Lat and across the central highlands and I guess they're legendary for two things. First off they are very trustworthy and while I get the feeling (having been on a tour with them) that they simply just show you the "tourist spots" they're generally passionate about meeting, speaking with and taking tourist's around. Secondly they're famous for their notorious price! $20 per person for a day trip around Da Lat! They hang around your hotel and try and sell them to you, which is fair enough, but we told them that $20 was just way too much for us but we told them that we would meet them in the morning discuss the matter further. So
Git some
The effects of Agent Orange are still evident even after 40 years. The government has replanted some of the surrounding hills with non-native pines, it only enhances the European feel of the place, but nothing really compares to the native jungle. the next morning the four of us gathered outside our hotel and met with four easy riders who thought they were in for some action. They were to be disappointed for Sarah had come up with a plan so cunning and so evil that it would make Genghis Kahn wee his pants. She struck on the idea that we hire one easy rider who would take Sarah and we hire two bikes ourselves. I would ride alone (as a troubled and dark lone rider always does) and Blaire would double Kim. Sorted! The Easy Riders didn't know what hit them, three of them took off with a look of utter disdain and contempt on their faces while only one of them scored.
It was an absolutely grand day, clear blue skies as far as the eye could see and the fetid, putrid air of Saigon was replaced with a wonderfully crisp and fresh highland atmosphere. Our first stop was a pagoda that had life size figures of the characters of Monkey! outside the front gate. Except it is the poor Chinese version not the awesomeness of the Japanese version that we were fed when we were kids. Hung,
Blaire and Kim
George W Bush's last hopes in finding American MIA's set out to reconnoiter the area surrounding Da Lat. the easy rider, explained their traits as follows:
1. Monkey! - The violent protector
2. Tripitaka - The Man with the Monkey (straight up)
3. Sandy - The Fish that carries everything.
4. Pigsy - The one who makes the jokes!
Zen yeah? Let me tell you lamington lovers they're some weird looking things, ain't nuttin' like the ones we'd know, they're actually a little creepy. But you know what ever.
Then we journeyed up into the hills to see where they grow the vegetables that the frogs brought over when they thought they owned the place. Da Lat is famous for its strawberries, jam and other regulation European type vegetables. Next was one of the many flower gardens that churn out flowers all year round. These were the types of places we were being shown, while interesting they certainly weren't exceptional. The first exceptional attraction came in the form of a wonderful and picturesque valley...except for the fact that the hills around it are just now beginning to grow again after having the shite napalmed out of them by the Americans. While there was very little fighting around Da Lat (there was tacit
Elephant Falls
Quite pretty but Blaire and Kim were disappointed that there were no falling Elephants.... agreement on both sides that the city would be spared) the road through Da Lat and the highlands to the west and the north was strategically important as a supply route for the U$A, consequently they couldn't take any risks of VC attacks on convoys from the jungle clad hills, so they wiped them off the face of the earth. It makes for good sightseeing...
After this is was down into the Valley floor to cruise around the Village there and make our way to Elephant falls. These were pretty cool and apparently they're a lot better in the wet season, but still for a couple of people from water starved Australia they were pretty impressive. After this it was off to more pretty standard tourist things, nothing really worth mentioning either except for a place called 'The Crazy House'. This place was designed by the daughter of the president that replaced Ho Chi Minh after his death, and let me tell you Socialist Realists, only a party hack could get away with something as outrageous as this. It is basically a guest house but is themed upon animals and has several rooms, the tiger room, the kangaroo
Stunt Ride par-excellence
I think the title speaks for itself. room, the crocodile room etc. They're all weird and all have mirrors over the beds it was just odd and kitsch, but kind of cool as well. I guess the best thing about this day was the ride. It was wonderful and liberating to be up in the mountains on such a beautiful day. After this we all went out for dinner and said farewells as Blaire and Kim were heading East in search of George W's MIA's. We had a lovely couple of days with them and wish them well in everything.
The morning Kim and Blaire left I was sitting at the computer checking my she-mails when I was tapped on the shoulder by a couple we had met and had dinner a couple of times with in Saigon, Norwegians Anderes and Rut. We resolved that the following day we would all go canyoning in the wilds of the Vietnamese jungle and that we did. It was flipping sensational (I (being a world renowned man of action felt right at home in the wilds of the Vietnamese jungle, while the others cried most of the time). It was pretty tidy stuff, first we abseiled down a 5
Flowers
And a lot of them there were too. Wow... metre rock face (which was child's play) and Rut did amazingly well for someone that is terrified of heights! She was smashing. Sarah was typically ace at it and stunned the instructors by going down head first on her first attempt. Show off. Anderes was alright but he kept complaining about the lack of snow and reindeer meat. I dunno... After the 5 metre drop we moved onto the 18 metre drop, then a 17 metre drop over the river. After this we had crib beside the river and watched a homely pom chick try and climb up a rock face, brutal...we then pushed onto to some rapids that we all slid down, it was pretty cool as well, even though we were all waiting for our head to smash into the rocks as we went hurtling toward the pool at the bottom. After this we moved on to the one I had been licking my lips for and the others had been pooing their pants about. The 25 metre abseil down a raging waterfall. That's correct fellow lovers of 'Who's the boss' a 25 metre abseil down a raging waterfall. While the others cowered in fear like so many
Down you go...
"Please I don't want to go, I'll never give you a wedgey again mister easy rider" screams Saartje after dishing out one of her famous atomic wedgies. This is an orchid farm on the side of a mountain and they transport everything up and down with a winch controlled skip. batsmen preparing to face my legendary short pitched deliveries, I stuck my hand up and agreed to go first. I hooked up to the line and headed down the steep, gushing waterfall. It was pretty easy at first, we were all worried about slipping over on the slimy rocks but there was plenty of traction as I made my way gingerly down the fall. It was pretty much easy going until you reached the section of the waterfall that had the most volume of water gushing down it, then it became difficult. The water was smashing into your chest constricting your breathing, the water was smashing into your face making you feel like you're drowning, but once you get over this you just let go of the rope and drop into the water below. Rut, who while up the top refused to look down over the cliff edge, went next and did an absolutely abseilrific job of navigating her way down. She was tops. Anderes had no problems, except for the lack of snow and reindeer. Again Saartje impressed all and sundry by forgetting the ropes all together and simply climbing down the waterfall hardcore style.
After we all
Crazy House
Some steps leading from one building to another...its CRAZY!
Nice pic by Saartje too. hit the bottom we spent about 15 minutes swimming in and under the waterfall like little nude catholic priests, it was fun. We then moved off to an 8 metre free fall drop into the water. This was cool, we all did it multiple times, except for Rut, who because of her fear of heights couldn't. And that's fair enough too, I mean she did bonzarificly well descending the other drops, lumpy gold kudos to ya Rut! After jumping of the cliff like a bunch of toolish youngsters, we had to make our way up out of the Valley, which was pretty steep but not too long or that difficult. Once up the top we met our mini-bus and were taken back to the Groovy Gecko office where we were given rice wine that was definitely straight out of a metho bottle...we didn't stay long and headed back to the hotel to shower up and then head off for something to eat. We ate and drank heartily (although Anderes still couldn't get any reindeer meat) and recounted the days events over a lovely hotpot and at the end said our farewells to the Norse as they were heading off to
Tiger Room
Yes that faaarking tiger is real, and yes I did tame it... Nha Trang the next day and we wouldn't be getting up to say goodbye. Good luck guy's it would good fun adventuring in the jungles of the Southern Highlands with you and perhaps we will run into you in Hanoi? Take it easy and stop complaining about the Finnish so much, they can't help it.
So after tramping around Da Lat for a couple of days we decided that instead of following the well worn tourist path of Da Lat - Nha Trang - Hoi An by bus, we would take a guide and ride motorbikes through the Central Highlands to Hoi An for 5 days. The trick was finding the right price. The Easy Riders charge an unfordable $50 USD a day per person, they're reticent to take only one person and let the other ride because they're a tight cabal and want to maximise the cashish for all their dudes, but that doesn't help us. We found that Groovy Gecko tours would take us for $265 which in includes guide, bike for me to ride and transportation of the bike back to Da Lat. We haven't decided what we are going to do yet, but I am
Ceiling Mirror
Sarah showing off her ability to take some crazy shots in the crazy house. I think this was in the spider room. sure you will all find out. Squares.
Overcast with a hint of a cool breeze and light to moderate North Easterly winds and slight showers and stuff.
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