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Published: February 20th 2011
*said in your best American accent ;-)
Well life has been cruising along since the last blog... really there is not alot of drama or excitement to speak about with our time on Koh Lanta apart from being subjected to a large population of Europeans (French, German, Italians, Swiss etc) who are extemely rude towards not only us but to the Thai people in general... and even though they are vacationing on one of the few Thai islands that are predominantly Muslim, they still insist on acting like they are on a European beach by sunbathing (and walking around) topless (the females obviously)... This is something that has continuously annoyed me in my Thailand travels...
Generally it is a huge insult and taboo (and actually ILLEGAL) in Thailand to go topless on the beaches, but even more so on Koh Lanta where it is mainly Muslim (not Buddhist like the rest of Thailand) ... WHY do people travel all the way to the other side of the world to a place like Thailand and not research the dos/don'ts and culture of that country is BEYOND ME!
FINE, do it in your own country but when in Thailand HAVE
SOME RESPECT!!!!!! It might be okay to sunbathe topless on YOUR beach in Europe but its NOT okay here! So annoying and disrespectful.. but then again they seem to carry that through to the way they conduct business in the markets, treat staff in restaurants/hotels and even other travellers...
An example was last night.. I have been having trouble getting my SIM card connected here in Thailand this trip.. normally I do 1-2-call but decided to go with True Move who are handing out free SIM cards in the airports and have micro sims for Apple Iphones! A couple of nights ago we tried at the 7-11 to activate the card but it wouldnt work... Last night we decided to try again... You get a free SIM at the airport and they tell you to go to a 7-11, hand the staff this card (all written in Thai) and they will activate it for you... so it wasnt working... but there were 2 cash registers and 3 staff... two were serving and one was trying to activate my card... When this stupid FAT German man, about 70 years old walks up to me and starts abusing the crap out
of me ... He was basically telling me that I was stupid because I dont need to get staff to activate the card 'its easy you do it yourself' and no matter how many times I said 'whatever! its not activating.. there is a problem with it' he kept talking over me and telling me 'its easy you dont need to be here' suggesting I was holding up the line of people behind me..... UMMMMMM LAST TIME I CHECKED I HAVE AS MUCH RIGHT TO CUSTOMER SERVICE IN THIS STORE AS YOU DO ASSHOLE!
Anyway that is getting off track.... so on the last blog I left you hanging as I went to relax on the beach... the day was spent that way.. Annie who owns our guesthouse tracked down some floatation beds and we headed out into the crystal clear bay, floating the morning away on the beds... before deciding that Thai Is San was soooo good the night before we had to go there and get some of the Pork they didnt have the night before for lunch... We pigged out on the most amazing food before getting some more takeaway Pork for an afternoon snack... We
then went back and floated the day away on our water beds in the water (hard life I know) ... Late afternoon we ended up at the Massage place next door getting some of the most amazing foot massages ever (while sipping on Mai Tai's from the Indian Bar).
We settled in the front row of beach chairs with drinks for another amazing sunset before getting a tuktuk to Saladan to have some dinner... After the fiasco mentioned above with the angry little fat German man, we headed to Saladan Seafood on the wharf.. but the staff basically ignored us before yelling at some people in front of us that they were FULL.... they could have said F**K OFF at the same time and it would have fit the tone! Wow Clearly business is good!
We ended up at the Corner Bar that Cathy and Gary had mentioned in a Trip Advisor Trip Report where we had an above average meal... After some wandering of the Saladan Streets we grabbed some Sticky Rice with Mango for dessert and headed home!
This morning after a big sleepin (from McKay) and a yummy breakfast, we hired a tuktuk for
the morning and went over to Old Lanta town.. Here we wandered around the shops, had a few drinks and snacks overlooking the water then decided to head to Long Beach for lunch at Funky Fish. Funky Fish gets HEAPS of great reviews on the net so we were SEVERLEY disappointed when the staff were sooo rude and basically grunted at us when we sat down... We ordered a Massaman Curry and a Papaya Salad (Som Tam) with deep fried chicken... with Prawn Spring Rolls and Garlic Naan Bread.... Now... although the food was very yummy we were really disappointed with what we actually got.... The Massaman Curry was NOT Massaman Curry but it was nice whatever it was! The big disappointment..... my deep fried chicken on my papaya salad was abut 50 grams of grilled chicken breast.. healthy but soooo not Thailand Deep Fried Chicken!!
Lunch finished we headed back to our guesthouse where McKay took a Singha induced nap and I got started on this blog... we then decided it was massage time and headed out for a Thai Massage... It was one of the funniest Thai massages I have ever had... It was McKay's first Thai
Massage and we couldnt stop giggling.. one of the funniest moments (apart from the various grunts and groans coming from both of us at a very regular basis) was when McKay yelled out "I'm sorry, I'm sorry for whatever I did wrong" referring to the punishment that was being inflicted on our bodies! We were both sweating and felt like we had gone a round with Mike Tyson by the end of the hour!
Dinner on our final night in Koh Lanta was at Time For Lime... it advertises itself as a modern Thai Fusion restaurant and doubles as a cooking school and dog/cat rescue centre... Every night is a different 'Tasting Menu' of 6 'Thai Fusion Dishes' and they claim to be completely different and better than any other restaurant on the island.... well all I can say is, what a bloody huge disappointment!
We had seafood stirfry, chicken satays, fish in red curry and a special 'time for lime' soup... all of which tasted exactly the same and had no 'fusion twist' to them! We also had mango salsa rice rolls which was basically mango salsa and rice noodles in rice paper (but it was THICK
rice paper) and nothing special... Dessert was chocolate mousse.... Whats so Thai about that?! The least they could have done is added some Chilli to the Mousse for a Thai Fusion Twist! The menu also advertised Free Crispy Spring Rolls (their specialty apparently) if you were still hungry... given our disappointment when they asked us if we would like them we said yes! Imagine our surprise after the big plugging about the spring rolls when we arrived plus on the menu and being asked if we would like them, when they informed us 10 minutes later they had in fact run out... clearly everyone asks for them... but I'm pretty sure being a cooking school and restaurant you could have made more in that 10 minutes it took you to decide you were out of them!!!!
McKay's Lightbulb Moment
One of the funniest moments during dinner was when McKay went to the toilet.. she came back to me and out of nowhere suddenly announced that she had just realised what the 'hose in the bathroom is for' ... I just gave her a blank look and said 'WTF' .... I started laughing before even getting the
rest of the story.. I just couldnt even imagine what she was about to say considering she had been to Thailand on at least two other occassions....
Apparently McKay thought that the hose (aka: bumblaster) was to CLEAN THE TOILET! I could not stop laughing and was SOOOO shocked that she had thought that... the only reason she had worked it out was the little poster in the toilet showing you how to 'use a Thai toilet' ... OMG sooo funny!
The only redeeming thing about this restaurant was their cocktails... Mojitos (which they claim are the best you can find) ... they are nice but not the BEST... and even better was the Chilli Margarita and the Lemongrass Margaritas... now that is what Thai Fusion is about! 2000 baht later we walked out bitterly disappointed with the experience and both wishing we had gone back for one last meal at the little family run Thai Is San... After dinner we went for a walk down the beach to a little bar where there were some fire twirlers and had a bucket of Samsong Whiskey, Coke and Redbull.... Clearly I have grown up and learnt my lesson with
that stuff over the past four years as after about 5 mouthfuls each we decided we just couldnt do it with a day of travel planned the following morning.. and we left!
Coming back up the beach towards the Indian Bar and our guesthouse we could see a fire twirler at the Bar... thinking it might be Pas who runs the bar I was excited to get a photo but upon getting closer realised it was a small European boy aged about 10-12yo! WTF... now thats responsible parenting at its finest... steering a wide berth around him we headed to bed!
This morning we have both woken up with dodgy stomachs (thanks Time for Lime) and we are now leaving paradise and heading to Bangkok to see Tong and have some big city fun!
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce
non-member comment
Great Blog!
Wonderful reading Marita!! Glad to see you are still having fun! those cocktails sure look yummy!! Travel safe lovely xx