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After saying goodbye to New Zealand, I arrived back in the land of OZ to catch up with the extended family from the sailing days on 'Euphoria' for a couple of weeks. It was a nice respite where I had my own room, free internet, and relaxing company. Here I prepared for the next destination... Thailand. Long gone would be the safe harbour of english speaking society as i plunge head first into the asian third world.

Thailand

Thailand, the Land of Smiles, the ancient kingdom of Siam... the country which has survived 18 coups d' etat since 1932, it's most recent happening in the 'bloodless' military coup of 2006 and despite a "peaceful revolution" turn violent of 300,000 during my visit lead by the former self-exiled prime minister, the country of 64 mil continue to go about their relaxed lives, wearing their soft smiles, forever playful in their humble nation.

Arrival : Bangkok! Southeast Asia's gateway to beauty and debauchery where the over populated city of 16mil hit's you in the face with it's thick stale air and it's obvious strangeness that the subconscious reads as a quiet warning whispering, "I am indeed a stranger in a strange land." And at this point I was only stepping off the plane. It was intimidating to say the least but also, very exciting. After claiming my backpack and getting permission to travel through Thailand from customs, I was off to the bright lights of the big city on a midnight bus. Having no agenda for the next 26 days other then an eight day Tai Chi retreat I had signed up for before my arrival, the first couple of days I had put together a loose itinerary which quickly dismantled itself the second I started out. Evidently, I arrived in the month of Thailand's New Year, Songkran. The biggest week-long holiday celebrated here which is booked months in advance by the locals, so transport and accommodation became unexpectedly limited, but not without possibility.

Songkran, as I said, is the week-long Thai New Year celebration. What is it all about? If you take an entire nation, arm them with loaded super soakers and buckets of ice water, you would know the world's largest water fight to bring in a new year. It's an all day (for five days) event during, what happens to be, the hottest time of the year here. What started out as a cleansing or a washing away of the old to bring in the new for the monks has become, not unlike other religious rituals, simply great entertainment for all. Dick Clark and his dropping of balls don't have a thing on this new year's party.

Haggling

I'm always torn between bartering with the poor and getting ripped off, but the truth is, haggling is expected with most things such as accommodation, taxis, market goods, even public toilet fees... and while it's customary and at times, entertaining, if you're not in the mood, it's a frigging exhausting event. The simple reality is you're fighting over what equates into cents , possibly a dollar or two at most, so it goes... nothing here is expensive if you don't want it to be.

Costs

A filling meal and two beers, 2$... a one hour Thai-massage by a convict (explained in photo gallery), 5.50$... the two hour train ride north out of Bangkok on the "ordinary train", 40cents... a ferry crossing, 8cents... a one night stay with air-con, 7$; without, 3.50$... internet, 40cents an hour... a full day bike rental, 1$... a ten hour bus ride from Chiang Mai to Bangkok, 12$... an evening out amongst the he-shes, lady-boys, and him-hers, priceless... southeast asian men make for extremely convincing transvestites... until you hear them speak. (note : when brawling with trannies, always go for their wigs)

The Experience

I will miss the sounds of scooters and the smokey two-stroke engines of the tuk-tuks (local motorcycle cabs); the strange pitch and ping of a foreign language spoken all around me ; the surreal sounds of authoritative voices talking and sometimes shouting over PA systems throughout the city of Chiang Mai, reminiscent of communist propaganda, instilling an uneasy sense of false confidence that, "Thailand will overcome this inner conflict. Thailand will remain as the 'Land of Smiles'. The tourists will once again return to the 'Land of Smiles'." as a "revolution" of 300,000 strong cause panic and chaos in Bangkok during my stay ; the shy smiles and giggling gestures of curious children ; noticing the unavoidable distinct orange robes of monks which stand out like beacons of light against a busy crowd ; the sight of overloaded scooters with two, three, sometimes four passengers effortlessly whizzing in and around traffic, some of which are wearing zipped up sweat shirts in 95 degree heat, others, with the family dog tucked under an arm and modest females ride as side saddle passengers ; riding a rented bicycle along ancient paths amongst 700 year old ruins while sucking down a fruit smoothie ; the warm feeling in my gutt after eating an all too spicy meal with an added spoon full of peppered heat, "just because" and the reciprocal burning after on it's way out (baby wipes are an under-rated necessity) ; the smell of my own sweat as I ring out an over-saturated tee-shirt which stains my shorts with layers of sweat rings and my black briefs turn a chalky shade of tie-dye swirl ; the sound of the creaking metal ceiling fan half-hazardly attempting to cool me down as I sweat myself to sleep ; the smell of intermittent sewage noted from the flowing shower head, a subtle reminder of why not to be drinking the water. I'll miss my body's attempt at resalting itself as I lean forward over a meal and streams of sweat roll off my chin, nose, and brow into my food ; the drawing of stares by passerbyers as elderly British and American men walk hand in hand with young Thai women, underdressed and over painted ; the crooked smile of the cabbie who spoke three words of english really well, "Thailand Formula One", as he navigated through oncoming traffic, passing cars on the left shoulder, right shoulder, and down the dotted line between vehicles on a two lane highway forever hammering the gas or break pedal ; having my clothes hand washed and ironed by a sweet old lady for a dollar ; random encounters with walking elephants during a late night stroll along the congested streets of Bangkok ; taking anti-malarial's who's most common side effect is 'photosensitivity'... stupid sun ; the deep voices of monks in chanting prayer emanating out their temples and resonating off the concrete city walls ; staring at an eight storey building framed out in bamboo scaffolding tied together with twine ; taken in the simple smiles and genuine kindness all around ; experiencing the "wai", the beautifully poetic gesture the Thai's use in saying "Hello" and "Thank You", acknowledging 'god' within you ; the tastes and smells of pad thai, cashew chicken, papaya salad, unknown pieces of meat, coconut milk soup, red, green, and yellow curry, spoonfuls of hot peppers, chilled bottle water, fried cricket, heaps of fresh fruit and veggies... yes, once again, the tragic romantic in me has fallen in love, but this time with the relaxed culture of this far east humble nation... I shall return.

As always, I hope you enjoy the random and brief captured moments of time and that all is well and right in your world. Tomorrow, I depart for a two month stay in Nepal. I'll see you there.

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