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Published: December 22nd 2007
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The first time ever I kissed your mouth
I felt the earth move in my hands
Like the trembling heart of a captive bird
That was then at my command
My love
The first time ever I lay with you
I felt your heart so close to mine
And I knew our joy would fill the earth
And last til the end of time
My love
It was actually the second time I saw his face, but to me it felt like the first, after the countless emails, phone calls, and sms-es over the last 6 months. We both knew before we embarked on this journey that it could either make or break our love. Staying together is never easy, as getting used to each other's habits, attitudes, and preferences can cause conflicts. But such is love that no matter what the consequences, it pushes you to try, to go ahead and give it a go.
Trepidation seized me when I passed the gate at Changi Airport. So much excitement and fear of the unknown and unexpected. The plane could crash. I could be kidnapped and whisked off to the great wilderness of Africa. He could totally miss my arrival at the airport. In retrospect I was probably in one of my moments of great but specious imagination.
When I was in the plane, I forgot about all of those things. It was my first flight! I was about to be up above the clouds looking down on the world for the first time! Being on a plane, all by myself, at age 20, flying to a foreign country with people who don't speak a word of English except (as I soon found out) "don't haaave! don't knooow! cannooot! okaaay!" There are few crazier things I've done, but right now I can say I don't regret my bravado. Thank God I'm Scorpio 😊
Flying (not literally, of course) is an amazing experience. I chose the window seat because I wanted to take in all the sights of the clouds, the seas, and the land below. I was on board Indian Airlines in business class, but it was, unfortunately, not that much of a flight to remember. No personal TV, no entertainment options besides old magazines from India, and a small aircraft (Airbus A320).
2 hours later...
I was in Bangkok!!! I love the feeling of going on a holiday to a foreign country- the feeling of awe and delight. It's as if all the normal, detested things in your life cease to exist except the new people and environment around you. It's taking a step out of the comfort zone. It's change. It's experience. C'est la vie.
On my way past the customs I thought about what would happen later. Was Sergio still the same Sergio that I knew in May? What was his hair colour now? How would he react when he saw me? Did I look okay? So many doubts...
I walked out to the arrivals hall feeling bizarre, as dozens of people stood close to the doors holding up banners and cards with the names of their loved ones/ business clients. Inside me I hoped he was doing the same, but I didn't see a trace of him anywhere, until...
Instinctively I turned to my left and from afar I finally saw him. His right ankle propped on his left knee, brows furrowed, staring intensely at his mobile phone. To me he looked so beautiful. I stood in front of him for a few seconds in silence before he turned his face up. It's the moment I can't describe because it's too priceless, too lovely, too treasured.
First came the tight embrace of disbelief and joy that after 7 months, we are pressed so close to each other, no longer hundreds of thousands of miles apart. Second came the close scrutiny of each other's faces, checking for any changes. And then at last was the kiss...
Our first kiss I will always remember, because it was the culmination of so many months of anticipation. So sweet and tender yet so passionate. It is the same with our relationship.
We searched around for the quintessential MILO before we took the bus to the Majestic Grande Hotel in Sukhumvit. When I held his hand it feels so natural, as if I've done it many times before.
In the room of course we... 😉 It was one of the sweetest and most unforgettable moments in my life.
When evening came we went to the infamous red light district, Nana Plaza. So many prostitutes, so many 'farang', and so many 'katoyes'. Now I understand the wondrous appeal of Bangkok- the reason why so many foreigners make their way to this city. While the few rich Bangkok elite splash their cash and credit in the many international boutiques in Siam Paragon (think Prada, Tod's, Dolce & Gabbana, Chanel, Hermes, Louis Vuitton), thousands of the poor majority make their living as whores, tuk-tuk drivers, taxi-drivers, and roadside stall owners. It highlights the problem of income disparity between the rich and the poor.
Girls as young as 13 or 14 parade themselves in the many go-go bars in Nana Plaza, scantily-clad and hungry for new customers. Even the ugliest, fattest, and most repulsive-looking man can afford to fuck a decent-looking and young girl for maybe a thousand baht. When we went to see a pussy show at 11pm, I had an eye-opening experience. Men of various nationalities sat alone or with another male friend (obviously with similar intentions) while all eyes were on the sexy girls dancing with the poles on the centre stage. Maybe I'm too self-centred but sometimes I wonder how any man who's seen all that can still respect a woman at work or even in personal life. The pussy show was fun because I left all sense of morality and seriousness at the door. The girls do the most bewildering and amazing tricks from their pussys. I was dying to see the ping pong show but for that night they didn't have.
What I did saw were... pussy smoking a cigarette (I wondered if they weren't careful, would they burn themselves alive in front of us and give us the biggest pussy show of all), pussy bursting balloons on the ceiling (who needs rockets with pussys like these?!), pussy taking out banners and garlands (Singapore should consider doing this for its Speak English Campaign...might be more effective), etc etc.
The men are disgustingly sleazy. There were 2 Japanese men who stopped one of the girls and took her panties for a sniff. The very next morning, Sergio and I saw the same man sitting on the deck chairs by our hotel pool READING A BOOK! Oh pretty please, cut the gentlemanly act. We had a great laugh over that horrible man who pretends to read by day (but probably inside the book are porno photos!!!) and smells panties and looks at pussys by night. What a hypocrite!
In the night the two of us turned in to bed, figuring out a good position to sleep together. I didn't sleep immediately but as he drifted off to sleep I held his hand and thought about what the new day would bring after such a beautiful day together...
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leachee boy
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The first time..
The first time ever I saw your face I thought the sun rose in your eyes And the moon and stars were the gifts you gave To the dark and the empty skies my love To the dark and the empty skies. The first time ever I kissed your mouth I felt the earth move in my hand Like the trembling heart of a captive bird That was there at my command my love That was there at my command. The first time ever I held you near And felt your heartbeat close to mine I thought our joy would fill the world And would last till the end of time my love And would last till the end of time... And I realized u wasn't a Nana girl...