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So the Korean school system is developmentally challenged. Just last week, they had one week of classes to finish off the previous school year. Needless to say, most teachers just wasted time in classes, most abandoning their classes. Or at least my English co-teachers did.
It was almost good to hear the voices of screaming teenagers stampeding up the stairs. Until they got to class. The headache and deep sighs came rushing back. I guess I remember being a kid though...barely. It's funny how quickly your frame of mind gets replaced with that of an adult's.
I got invited to the school retreat with all the other teachers the following week. I reluctantly said yes but since I figured I was going to sit at school doing nothing, I might as well go. At the very least, I would get some free food and explore Korea. There was definitely food and there was some Korea but most of all, there was SOJU. Soju here is advertised as this refreshing drink that quenches your thirst and makes you smile, but it is DEATH. It tastes like regurgitated vodka. And rather than letting out an orgasmic "aaah" like in the commercials,
Herb Village
Penis Dinosaur?I usually just gag.
In any case, we moseyed on to an "herb village" which they couldn't really explain to me but when I got there, I realized it was exactly what it sounded like. There were herbs, bottles of herb-infused water, and herb lotions and potions. So, since it's exactly as boring as it sounds, the Koreans decided it was a good idea to have a murky aquarium which they claimed to contain sharks (but I didn't see any) and bears in a cage far too small for a rabbit, never mind a bear. But on the bright side, I had a good laugh at the "Penis Dinosaur" which was a phallic shaped rock maybe the size of a dinosaur's penis...I'm not sure. And there was a looooooooove tunnel.
After the herb village, we headed to our final destination to check into the hotel and eat dinner. Dinner was as usual, BBQ and massive amounts of soju. So much soju I can't even explain to you what ensued. I will only put up photos for you to draw your own conclusions. Let's just say I've never seen a grown man cartwheel off a stage full of screaming
Herb Village
Behold, the dinosaur penis. karaokeers and fall on his ass AND then, proceed to cartwheel back on. You know, all in all, I have to admit I had an awesome time. I got to know some of the teachers better and the next day, we all bonded over a hungover mountain trek. It was rough but we all trudged through it. You know, these Koreans are troopers. I don't know when the last time I was able to get trashed and wake up at 8am to climb a mountain. These people seemed like pros at it. I thought I was pass that age.
How does this end? With a teacher getting smashed at the lunch after our trek. So smashed that he threw up in the restaurant, stumbled out, shook my hand, and said some garbled English words to me. Classic.
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